Category: Chapter 42

Painter Of The Night: “Baek Na-Kyum’s confessions” (part 4) (second version)

~ Bébébisous33 ~ 8 Comments

This is where you can read the manhwa. https://www.lezhinus.com/en/comic/painter But be aware that this manhwa is a mature Yaoi, which means, it is about homosexuality with explicit scenes. If you want to read more essays, here is the link to the table of contents:  https://bebebisous33analyses.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/table-of-contents-painter-of-the-night/ 

It would be great if you could make some donations/sponsoring: Ko-fi.com/bebebisous33  That way, you can support me with “coffee” so that I have the energy to keep examining manhwas. Besides, I need to cover up the expenses for this blog.

In the third part I listed all the common points between the two scenes, where Baek Na-Kyum confessed to Yoon Seungho.The first one first happened (chapter 19) in episode 19/20 and the second in chapter 49. . (chapter 48) Then I had started contrasting both scenes, nonetheless I was not able to examine all points. That’s what I wanted to do in the 4th part. However, at some point, I had a revelation. The confession in chapter 49 represents the painter’s evolution, and it could also be compared to the confession in chapters 41/42. Because there was a confession back then as well. Yet, in that scene the painter could barely speak, he could only admit this: (chapter 48) All this led me to the following observation. We had the artist’s many confessions. Hence I am listing the common denominators that are always present during the three different scenes.

  1. The noble’s visit in the painter’s study
  2. Yoon Seungho acting as someone else (41/42: client, later as a servant as he does what the painter asks him)
  3. The painter’s confession
  4. Their kisses
  5. Seungho’s surprised gaze (41/42: when he sees the inauguration painting)
  6. The two hugs
  7. The prostitution/brothel
  8. The painter’s tears
  9. Baek Na-Kyum’s position on the floor
  10. Seungho’s rough actions (41/42: the slap, grabbing the hair)
  11. Seungho’s comments
  12. The presence of Jung In-Hun as a shadow
  13. The painter’s emotional heartache
  14. The mixture of love and sex session

Since I had already compared the scene 41/42 with the first confession (19/20/21), I won’t do it again, yet my main point is the following. Byeonduck used all the same ingredients in all three scenes but change some details, thereby the manhwalovers could observe a huge progression in the relationship between Baek Na-Kyum and Yoon Seungho. The small switches reflect the slow transformation of both protagonists.

Now, compare the way the lord was kissed in chapter 19 with the latest episode. While Baek Na-Kyum had to stand on tiptoes in order to be able to kiss the powerful aristocrat,

Chapter 19

in episode 49, he just needs to catch his lover’s head as he is already sitting on his lap. The opposition of the two gestures illustrates the diminution of the social and emotional gap between the two main characters. Note that despite standing on tiptoe, the artist’s head was still below the aristocrat’s head. (chapter 19), whereas his head in the episode 49 exceeds that of Yoon Seungho. During their first real kiss, the difference reflected the huge social divergence, however what changed later more was the emotional state of the noble. Now, he is the one looking up at (chapter 49) the painter. The former is literally admiring his lover, pining on him but he doesn’t express it.

Chapter 49

His eyes and gestures are revealing his thoughts and emotions. The huge distance between them reflects how much the lord cherishes him. Notice that he doesn’t stop Baek Na-Kyum at all. (chapter 49) Now, they have switched the position, the aristocrat is the worshiper and Baek Na-Kyum is his object of affection. So in this scene, I would even say that we have the first lord’s confession but he is not voicing it. But because the artist has been deaf and blind for so long, he can’t witness this with his own eyes and ears. That’s why he doesn’t catch the true meaning of the noble’s saying. That’s why he could only doubt the protagonist’s genuineness in the hug and warmth and pushed the man away. Strictly speaking, the aristocrat is once again rejected, although he has finally truly behaved like a man in love.

The noble’s words and hug are quite telling, he is so deeply in love with Baek Na-Kyum. He truly wants to comfort his lover, the best he can. Imagine that with his own words (chapter 49) he is apologizing to the artist. He might not use the word “apology”, unlike in the chapter 20, nonetheless his wording unveils regret and heartache. During their wedding night, the aristocrat did apologize for taking the painter’s virginity, nevertheless his excuse didn’t sound genuine. In the chapter 49, Seungho acts the opposite. He doesn’t mention the word “apology”, yet he feels regret. He is sorry for making his lover cry. He admits that he is responsible for this, as each time they had such an encounter, he cried.

But back then, he wept due to Jung In-Hun’s rejection and later out of happiness. (chapter 21) In chapter 41/42, he cried due to the scholar too. So why would he mention “whenever”? Which occasions was he referring to? And now be ready for the next revelation. From my point of view, Yoon Seungho must be including the scene at the pavilion and the rape. I am positive that the lord wasn’t just remembering the scene, when he slapped the low-born or threatened him. Imagine, the lord is actually apologizing for all the pain he caused to his lover, he is expressing his atonement. And now, if the manhwaphiles recall the scene with the forced sex, they will also notice that there is a repeat of chapter 20/21. Besides, the readers witness a confession there too. (chapter 25) The painter admitted for the first time that he loved a man and his confession was addressed to the teacher, his “learned sir”. We have a long kiss (chapter 25), the attempt of a hug, the tears, the rough actions, , the painter lying on the ground (chapter 25), the lord’s comments (chapter 25) and the commoner’s agony either. And this confirms that the lord did attempt to recreate the wonderful night he had with him, but could only fail, because the painter couldn’t recognize him as his partner. His “love” was for someone else. Therefore, I stipulate that this manhwa contains not just three but actually four confessions of the painter. In other words, my title “Baek Na-Kyum’s confessions” was indeed so point on. Yet, each confession diverges from the others, as the artist’s emotional state differs each time. However, all of them mirror the painter’s heartache. No wonder, if the lord blamed himself for the low-born’s tears. Indirectly, he was apologizing to him, as he recognized that he was wounding him. He was the reason why the artist would cry.

Striking is that in the chapter 49, the lord is expressing his remorse in front of the painter, but the latter didn’t notice it because he could only feel Yoon Seungho’s warmth. (chapter 49) Due to this, he didn’t realize the consequence of the noble’s statement. The latter was already lowering himself without being too obvious. Now, you can better grasp why the lord wasn’t pleased, when he heard that Baek Na-Kyum was just admitting that he was attracted to him physically and there was nothing more. (chapter 49) The man had just humbled himself, yet this was totally ignored. I would even add that the artist’s words even devalued the noble’s words and actions even more. Like I mentioned it before, the low-born somehow treats the aristocrat as a tool for his own pleasure. We have an indirect rejection as the artist refuses to give him his heart.

Now, I would like to focus on the hugs because they mirror Baek Na-Kyum’s growing influence on the protagonist and Yoon Seungho’s flourishing love for the commoner. If you really pay attention, you’ll notice how little by little the artist gains importance in the noble’s mind and heart. Let’s take a look at the first hug. (chapter 20) The low-born’s head is much lower, and there is a certain distance between both bodies due to the way the low-born’s hands and head are placed. Here, the lord is even complaining about the painter’s lack of experience and reaction. Now, if you look at the hug in chapter 42, you’ll note here that the low-born’s head is higher and they are physically much closer but there still exists some distance. Even the lord’s behavior is different. His gestures oozes warmth, love and despair. His affection has truly gone deeper and with this huge hug, the manhwalovers can detect that the painter is indeed his first priority, while it was not the case before. His own selfish desires mattered more (20-21/25) back then. And now, we should look at the hug in the chapter 49. There is no distance between them, the gap has totally disappeared. The low-born’s head still exceeds that of Yoon Seungho confirming that the noble’s mindset hasn’t changed. He is still determined to put the artist first. The master might have been rejected, yet this is only partially true. The artist’s gestures (the kiss and hugs) reveal that he feels much more than he is aware of.

Another difference are the kisses. The first one was full of innocence and inexperience. Yet, there was warmth and affection. The lord responded to it with passion and lust. Then during the scene in chapter 41, Baek Na-Kyum initiates the kiss again. Here, the kiss is lacking of emotions. (chapter 41)

Chapter 41

The kiss is again full of innocence accompanied with pain and resignation. That’s the reason why the noble doesn’t respond to the kiss. He even complains about the nature of this gesture. In this scene, the master’s comment outlines his longing for a passionate kiss. And now, in chapter 49, the kisses contain both passion and experience. (chapter 49) There is lust and love mixed together. Therefore the lord can’t restrain himself from accepting the kisses. This is exactly what he was longing for. So Yoon Seungho made a huge progress, little by little he was getting closer to his goal. The painter was slowly opening his heart to the rich noble.

As you could see in this short essay, I determined that we had the noble’s confession through his gestures and words. But so far, he had not reflected on the true motivation behind his actions. Since the artist was not recognizing his growing affection for Yoon Seungho, it was the same for the main lead. However, I realized that the painter’s multiple confessions have always been the driving force that pushed the lord to change. Each time, there was a confession, both got affected in the end. But it only happened, because Yoon Seungho was always there to confront and to console the artist. This is no coincidence that by acting so, he was winning more and more in his battle to obtain the low-born’s affection. He had already gained a place in Baek Na-Kyum’s mind, like he admitted to himself in the chapter 47.

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Painter Of The Night: Baek Na-Kyum’s confessions (part 1) – third version

~ Bébébisous33 ~ 7 Comments

This is where you can read the manhwa. https://www.lezhinus.com/en/comic/painter But be aware that this manhwa is a mature Yaoi, which means, it is about homosexuality with explicit scenes. If you want to read more essays, here is the link to the table of contents:  https://bebebisous33analyses.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/table-of-contents-painter-of-the-night/ 

It would be great if you could make some donations/sponsoring: Ko-fi.com/bebebisous33  That way, you can support me with “coffee” so that I have the energy to keep examining manhwas. Besides, I need to cover up the expenses for this blog.

After reading the chapter 49, I was happy to have released my last analysis “Yoon Seungho’s long fight and struggle” (part 1/2) just before the new chapter for two reasons. First, my observations and even my predictions were point on. Secondly, it was indeed important to list the laws set by Jung In-Hun because without them, the readers can’t understand the chapter 49 and perceive the huge progression Baek Na-Kyum is making here. Therefore I am mentioning the regulations one more time as I will refer to them later in this essay:

  1. The artist can’t be associated to sodomy.
  2. He is not allowed to paint erotic paintings.
  3. He can’t admit to be a homosexual.
  4. He isn’t permitted to have sex with a man.
  5. He is not allowed to concede that he feels pleasure, when he has an intercourse with a man.
  6. He is not authorized to question the teacher’s words and actions. He has to obey him blindly.
  7. He is not permitted to fall in love with another man.

Besides, the chapter 49 confirms that Yoon Seungho’s words and actions in the chapter 48 were motivated by his desire to provoke a reaction in the painter. He wanted him to drop his stuporous state. He had no own will, he was just determined to please the master, whom he still considered as a man driven by his libido. (chapter 48) The noble had noticed that the artist was blind and deaf hence he needed to use the low-born’s body to awake his senses and arouse the painter’s instincts. That’s why he licked the painter’s ears while whispering, (chapter 49) or pinched his nipples. At no moment, the protagonist let his emotions (anger, frustration) take control over the situation. That’s why we definitely can’t say that we have another rape in the chamber. First, since “Baek Na-Kyum is a whore” (in the painter’s mind), then the lord can do anything he wants. The noble’s reasoning is quite simple: “Because the commoner is acting, then I should act too”. Secondly, the noble is trying to discover the root of the problem (chapter 49), while at the pavilion, he thought that if he forced himself on the painter, he would achieve what he wanted: being recognized as the painter’s partner and husband. From my point of view, we can observe the master of deception in action in this scene. He is using his body as a tool, just like in the past, when he had a sex session with the nobles. However, his goal concerning Baek Na-Kyum is different. This is not to defeat his counterpart. Inflicting pain is just his way to get through the painter’s mind and body. In fact, his goal hasn’t changed at all since the chapter 23. He is still hoping to be loved by the painter but right now, his immediate purpose is to discover the truth. Pay attention to the seme’s face in the illustration above. He knows that he is inflicting pain on the painter hence he is hurt as well. The manhwalovers can perceive the noble’s true face. That’s why I called Seungho as the master of deception. In the image above, the artist can’t see the noble’s true emotions and personality. Our seme feels, he has no other option left as the painter is living like a robot, or better said, a robot prostitute. This contrasts so much to the scene at the pavilion where his selfish desires and negative emotions led him to wound the man. From my perspective, Yoon Seungho is actually selfless here, he is doing it for the artist’s sake. He prefers being hated than getting unnoticed or objectized as an image: Seungho is a man consumed by lust. As a conclusion, Seungho is taking the bull by the horns, willing to get hurt and even hated in the process. The painter needs to answer his question:

Why did he change so much to the point that Baek Na-Kyum was just a shadow of himself?

Let’s not forget that the courageous aristocrat is well aware that Jung In-Hun is behind this but he doesn’t know how. (chapter 48) Did the scholar request the painter to sleep with him in order to discover a weakness? Sure, Baek Na-Kyum said that he was doing it on his own free will, yet his reactions led the lord think otherwise hence he couldn’t lower his guard entirely.

Yoon Seungho is taking some risk here because the painter could resent him for his rough manners. First, he points out the contradiction between his past comment and his actual behavior. He acted as a prostitute, then he should keep acting as such. (chapter 49) He triggers him with his comments and actions, yet he is determined to make sure that once the artist reaches the breaking point, he will stop. That’s why the noble doesn’t listen to the painter’s complaints(chapter 49), until Baek Na-Kyum yells to his lover and starts crying for real. Notice that in the drawing above, the artist expresses his own thoughts and desires for the first time. What caught my attention is that in this drawing, Baek Na-Kyum is speaking without a pause, unlike in the past where he is not even using the pronoun “I” or “me”: (chapter 45). My interpretation is that in that situation, the painter was only perceiving himself as an object. Sure, right after he admitted that he was feeling something. (chapter 45) But the emotions were quite superficial, he had great difficulties to externalize these. While the pronoun “I” was only used for the first time for a short moment, there was still the presence of an object in his confession. In other words, he was still denying the existence of two naked bodies till the chapter 49. Either he was an object (“it feels nice”) or the lord was one (“I like it”). Hence the lord’s remark was so point on: (chapter 48) First, he had misunderstood the confession, yet at some point he perceived his “confessions” for its real value: the presence of an object in his expressions. (chapter 49) Nonetheless, in this scene the painter keeps speaking about himself as he uses the pronoun “I” 9 times, until he is hugged.

The expression “I don’t like it” said in one sentence without any break outlines the effect of the master’s actions. Once cornered, Baek Na-Kyum is forced to externalize his own emotions and thoughts.

(chapter 49)

He has a body, he believes that his body has reached its limits. So in the image above, he is recognizing the existence of his body. First, we have the admission that he was a person on his own: “I don’t like it”. I couldn’t help myself connecting these words to the quote “I think, therefore I am”, a famous principle developed by the French Philosopher Descartes. Now he is conceding that he has a body on his own: “I can’t”. I see a progression here following the theory developed by Descartes, but the other way around. The French Philosopher used the body as a proof to doubt the existence of the human being/conscious. He used the ghost pain as proof that the body couldn’t be perceived as a proof of the existence. [a ghost pain: an amputated person feels some pain in the missing part] However, the French scientist came to the belief that the existence of the thought is a validation of the existence of the self, the “I” (“Cogito ergo sum”, the expression in Latin).

Consequently, with his words, the artist is slowly validating his own existence: first he has his own thoughts (“I don’t like it”), then he recognizes the presence of his body (“I can’t”). He is a person on his own, neither an object nor a prostitute. He has his own identity.

While during all this time, Yoon Seungho is not listening to the painter’s complains, he keeps reminding the painter that he is doing it for one reason: WHY? Striking is the difference in the writing in the speech bubbles reflecting the tone of the voice.

Chapter 49

Notice the progression: Baek Na-Kyum’s voice is getting louder. From “I don’t like it” and “I can’t” to “NO, PLEASE…… I’M GONNA-“, the readers can sense the raising of the painter’s voice to a scream. His yelling announces his outburst. (chapter 49)

(chapter 49)

Due to the picture above, you might argue that the sentences are broken again but this time, I interpret it differently. His emotions are the cause for the broken sentences. He can’t speak properly because of the explosion of his genuine feelings. His mind and heart are no longer frozen. Furthermore, he is criticizing the noble but the latter doesn’t mind it, as it was his real goal all this time. He wanted the painter to reconnect with his body and rediscover his true emotions and thoughts.

Another difference is his gesture. He is closing his eyes while crying, turning his face away from Yoon Seungho and even hiding his tears with his arm, which he never did in the past. Compare the drawing above with the following. (chapter 42)

In the chapter 42, he was looking at the lord with his eyes wide open. There is no arm in the way either. The contrast is really telling, displaying that despite the presence of Yoon Seungho, the artist was not able to perceive the noble’s proximity. This confirms my earlier statement: the painter was blind and deaf and it started in the chapter 42 hence he begged the lord to push harder and deeper as he felt nothing at all. In the retrospective, we could say that we were witnessing Baek Na-Kyum’s slow withering in the chapter 42, or more precisely, the beginning of his winter rigidity (like the frogs). However, I would like to outline that the embrace in the chapter 42 did move the artist’s heart and didn’t get unnoticed. He felt the warmth and love hence he was able to remember his hug and kiss, when he was masturbating. (chapter 42)

But now let’s go back to this scene:

Chapter 49

He is doing the exact opposite of the way he behaved in the chapter 42. My explication for the huge contrast is the following. First, Baek Na-Kyum is finally sensing the lord’s presence. All his senses are back, fully awaken. Besides, he is revealing himself. All his emotions and thoughts are real and genuine. But since he is so vulnerable, he is scared to show his true personality. Furthermore, he must have remembered the lord’s words (from the chapter 42), the master could complain again. (chapter 49) However, nothing happens. Yoon Seungho allows the artist to cry and to voice his thoughts for it was exactly what the lord was aiming at. For the first time, he did succeed. This is the reason why I choose this drawing as the illustration for this essay. The lord’s acting did ignite a fire in Baek Na-Kyum. The master destroyed the image Baek Na-Kyum had about himself, being a prostitute, because he expressed his own emotions and thoughts. Therefore I state that Yoon Seungho has liberated the painter from his cage or better said, his frozen state. With his voice and gestures, Baek Na-Kyum is proving that he is existing, he’s a full-fledged person with feelings and thoughts. Simultaneously, he is confessing that he is existing.

This marks a pivotal moment in the painter’s life because so far, he was living under the teacher’s doctrine. He had been submitted to an indoctrination, which is often utilized by dictators. You know that under dictatorships, people are not perceived as persons on their own. The citizens living under a dictator are either numbers or enemies or pawns or objects, they are never recognized as human beings. Due to Jung In-Hun’s coercive persuasion, a method employed in dictatorships, and his doctrine, Baek Na-Kyum was never able to live his life like he wanted. The scholar robbed him all his human rights. The painter had to follow the rules that’s why he got punished by the scholar in the chapter 40. He was questioning the scholar’s actions and power. Hence my claim that Baek Na-Kyum’s love for the scholar was never a real “love” is here confirmed. I’ll go as far as to compare Baek Na-Kyum’s love to a “ruler’s cult” which is another feature for a dictatorship.

Consequently, I compare Jung In-Hun to a dictator on a small scale. Until now, he could only impress the commoners (the head gisaeng, Baek Na-Kyum, the craftsman) but if he gets a high position, he will impose his doctrines on the officials and the nobles, there is no doubt about it. And just like any dictator, Jung In-Hun is delusional and resents people, even his followers. As you know, I am a History teacher in Germany, that’s why I am using Hitler as example. Hitler said that if the Aryans (pure-blooded Germans) were not able to win, then they should all die. This shows that this megalomaniac man never liked Germans in reality. All his doctrine was based on hatred, jealousy and cold-hearted reasoning: “Since The Jews are responsible for our misery and they are just parasites, then they should just be eliminated. They are no human beings, just bugs”. You might now wonder if I’m not drifting away from the topic. I am describing Hitler and the IIIrd. Reich for one reason. Jung In-Hun’s ideology and mentality is really similar to the nazi ideology. For Jung In-Hun, homosexuals are parasites, they are just prostitutes hence they can be destroyed. He has always hated Baek Na-Kyum because the latter was popular among nobles, while he was not noticed with his poetry. Hitler tried to become recognized as a painter but failed, hence he resented more the painters and Jews. The painting about Jung In-Hun’s inauguration could be compared to a propaganda poster. (chapter 41) In other words, I see a lot of common points between Jung In-Hun and modern dictators like Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini. We have the following common denominators:

  1. A doctrine based on hatred: here sodomy is rejected and should be erased.
  2. That’s why we have a censorship. Jung In-Hun stopped the publications of erotic paintings. Under Hitler, there was no freedom of expression and press. Jung In-Hun even imposed his language on the painter, it was the same under Hitler’s ruling.
  3. The use of coercive persuasion: Hitler used school and youth organizations like “Hitler Jugend” (Hitler youth) to indoctrinate his future followers and soldiers. Striking is that the teacher did something similar, he used the school to lure the painter and his students. Remember the girl with the leaf. Furthermore, Hitler wanted the students to become “predators” and to limit the students’ abilities. In reality, for him, it would have been the best, if the children were just able to read the orders and that was it.
  4. In a dictatorship, there is a harsh punishment if the subject questions the ruler. Jung In-Hun punished the painter in the chapter 40, he made sure that Baek Na-Kyum would never voice his own thoughts and feelings. By turning him into a prostitute, he was somehow declared an enemy, someone who derogates from his regulations.
  5. We have a “ruler’s cult” and a propaganda poster with the painter’s image. Notice that in this drawing, the scholar was put on a pedestal and all the people around him were so small and little. They had no face. It was as if Jung In-Hun was “the ultimate instance”, the new/fake sun and people have to bow down to him.

Now, you understand why I am comparing Jung In-Hun to Hitler. The moment Baek Na-Kyum claims that he is a full-pledged person, he is actually abandoning the scholar’s doctrine. He is no longer a subject, a prostitute because he is no longer following the scholar’s laws. In other words, the coercive persuasion is no longer effective. Now, he is using his own mind for real. We could already catch some glimpses of the painter’s critical thinking in the second season, like when he wondered about the cause of his ejaculation and why he kept thinking about Yoon Seungho. He is no longer living under the shadow of the false sun. This explains why Baek Na-Kyum can’t help thinking about the scholar’s hug, when he is embraced by Yoon Seungho. (chapter 49) (chapter 29) While some people judged it as something negative, I viewed it in a positive way. First, this flashback shows that the painter is thinking on his own. Secondly, he gets aware that the teacher’s hug was fake. He realizes the contradiction between the hug and the words said in the chapter 40: “He was born to be a prostitute”. “If so, why did he hug me back then?” From that thought, Baek Na-Kyum comes to the right conclusion. Jung In-Hun was not sincere and he is finally able to perceive the true nature of his learned sir: a hypocrite, though he doesn’t voice it. This is definitely relevant, this illustrates that Baek Na-Kyum is abandoning the scholar’s doctrine for real. He questions the teacher’s power and control and criticizes him for his dishonesty and duplicity. Since I stated that the rule 6 was central, this means that all the rules become obsolete as well. Baek Na-Kyum decides to live like he wants. And unaware of this, the lord makes the same decision. (chapter 49)

Chapter 49

During that night, both come to the same conclusion, hence they are getting closer to each other. Baek Na-Kyum is taking his fate into his own hand and doesn’t want to rely on anyone else, even Yoon Seungho. Yoon Seungho’s fans might get upset as our main character is not getting what he wants. However, we shouldn’t forget three aspects:

  1. Yoon Seungho was willing to risk his relationship in the first place, when he provoked the painter. He had already envisaged to be hated but notice that this is not what is happening. Baek Na-Kyum is not rejecting the noble at all.
Chapter 49

2. In order to love the noble, the painter needs to love himself first. Since he has just started living as a real human being, it is impossible to expect that he can reciprocate the noble’s feelings. But in my opinion, he is already in love with the aristocrat but he has no idea about it. [I’ll explain it further in the second part]

3. With his confession, he is admitting that he is a homosexual and that he tried to repress his sexual desires in the past (“despite myself”) but won’t do that any longer. This means that he will paint again. He won’t repress his unconscious, but will allow it to express itself in his paintings. In other words, his real passion and talents will come back with full power. The future drawings won’t be like the last one, an unrefined or unfinished painting full of mistakes, which was a proof of his frozen state and lack of passion. This confession reveals the determination and the return of the painter’s confidence.

As for Yoon Seungho, the latter chooses to live the way he desires. On the other side, he is lowering his expectations. Simultaneously, he is also trying to live his life the way he desires. This signifies that he is no longer taking people’s opinion into consideration. This is important, for Now, you might ask, where I see a return of the artist’s confidence. Pay attention to the pronouns used in the confession. He is using in each sentence “Me, my, myself and finally I”, while he wasn’t able to speak about himself in the past. With the repetition of these pronouns, he shows that he is existing, but unlike in the confession from the chapter 20, he shows no love for the lord. If someone has to show his adoration and affection for the other, then it should be the lord and not the painter. That’s why the lord is the subject in the confession and not the object (“You press, You bite, You kiss, …”). The artist loved someone in the past (“I have always respected and admired you”, “I pin for you”), yet the result was that he got deceived and betrayed. Imagine, he could have never confessed in reality because for the low aristocrat, he was just a nobody. Here, the artist is definitely taking the lead in his speech and in his action. But he has a reason to do so. He is protecting himself from another betrayal, a possible heartbreak. (chapter 49) He has suffered a lot and he fears to mistake the warmth from the protagonist as something real, whereas it could be fake too. That’s why Yoon Seungho can’t be pleased with this confession. He has to hear that he won’t be loved, that their relationship is only physical, he can’t expect more. Therefore Seungho gets upset and is about to complain, when he hears “I feel good”. Remember that I had explained that their position had been switched from the chapter 36 on. The noble had lowered himself and become a servant in order to get accepted. Now, with this confession, the painter is accepting the noble as his servant and he will be the master. No wonder that the seme is bothered first because this was not his true goal in reality. But when the commoner kisses the lord, Yoon Seungho’s negative feelings disappear. (chapter 49) Why? The lord senses that there are feelings here. For the second time, Baek Na-Kyum takes the initiative. This time, the confession, the caress and the kiss are directed at the noble. Besides, the artist shows that despite their new defined relationship, Baek Na-Kyum is genuine. This is not a real master-servant relationship, as there is some warmth in his gestures despite his words.

So when the lord is talking to himself, the painter has the exact same thoughts. That’s why the readers, including myself, were so confused. Who was thinking like that? Yoon Seungho or Baek Na-Kyum? Here, it was the noble, yet the painter had the same mind-set. Don’t forget that the painter serves as a mirror in the story, so he had the same thoughts. This explicates why he admitted his sensuality in front of his lover. And the noble understood the message. We should remember that Yoon Seungho is really perceptive (see the chapter 47) and can read the artist pretty well. There is no deception in reality. The painter is just lying to himself that he has no feelings for Yoon Seungho, yet the kiss and the stroke did contradict his words. Yoon Seungho sensed it. That’s the reason why Baek Na-Kyum is no longer acting as a prostitute. We have to imagine that if the lord came to abandon him, then in his mind, he won’t be affected. He will do what he wants in his life. He will paint again because his body and his talents are strongly connected to each other. (chapter 49)

As a final comment, I’ll explain the lord’s following comment (chapter 49) which is strongly connected to Baek Na-Kyum’s confessions. Let me summarize all his confessions:

  1. He’s a person of his own which means that he won’t follow any order or ruling. Since his words imply that he is a master, this signifies that he doesn’t belong to anyone.
  2. He is admitting his homosexuality for good.
  3. He is conceding that he has always felt attracted to the noble.
  4. He is acknowledging that he feels pleasure, when they have sex together.
  5. He is recognizing Seungho as his partner.
  6. He won’t feel shame any longer. “When you lick my body… I also feel good” which is similar to “I’ve decided let my body take the lead”. Why should he feel embarrassed and blush? He will just follow his physical desires. (chapter 39) So he won’t react like in the past, hide his special relationship with the lord. He won’t show any fear, when it comes to gossip or judgement from others. Why should he feel ashamed? This is something natural, which means that the next time Deok Jae calls him (chapter 47), he will be able to reply.

To all these confessions, the lord responds with a similar confession. (chapter 49) He understood the painter’s words and there is a certain resignation in him. He also makes up his mind that there are just sex partners and nothing more. His decision mirrors the painter’s confessions. He has also got aware that the painter is not willing to open his heart. However, what caught my attention here is the word “mind”. All this time, the noble imagined, he desired that the painter revealed his thoughts, while in reality, he was aiming at the artist’s heart. The lord has not realized that what has moved him all along was his own heart and not his mind. I have the impression that Yoon Seungho explained his love with his mind. He couldn’t recognize love, since all his thoughts were revolving around the painter. The painter was in his mind, he wanted to know what the artist thought, unaware that his heart was the trigger for his thoughts, and not his mind. He explained everything with his mind, therefore only valet Kim and Min were able to perceive his true motivation. We have to envisage that the lord has never experienced love before. So in this moment, he is taking his distance from the painter. He will act like in the past: he is just following the reaction of his body.

On the other hand, due to all these confessions, the readers witnesse Baek Na-Kyum’s transformation. He is accepting his homosexuality and his physical relationship with Yoon Seungho. He has no problem to admit that he enjoys their physical interactions and he will now follow the reaction of his body. All this indicates he has regained some pride. That’s why I am declaring that the commoner doesn’t act and perceive himself as a prostitute any longer as having sex means work and not pleasure. Now, you understand why I liked this chapter very much. Baek Na-Kyum reveals his real strength, he has almost returned to his older self. Like I had described him in my first analysis (Baek Na-Kyum and Seungho: a comparison), Baek Na-Kyum has always accepted his homosexuality as something positive and natural, until he met the terrible scholar and in chapter 49, we can witness it. With his confessions, he is rejecting all the rules set by Jung In-Hun, one by one. He is dropping Jung In-Hun’s belief for good.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Tumblr-Twitter account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Painter Of The Night: Needs and Desires

~ Bébébisous33 ~ Leave a comment

This is where you can read the manhwa. https://www.lezhinus.com/en/comic/painter But be aware that this manhwa is a mature Yaoi, which means, it is about homosexuality with explicit scenes. If you want to read more essays, here is the link to the table of contents:  https://bebebisous33analyses.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/table-of-contents-painter-of-the-night/

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This will be the final analysis about the chapter 46. While reading this episode, the final scene caught my attention. We see Baek Na-Kyum masturbating himself for the second time. When I saw this, I decided to compare it to the first masturbation in the chapter 9. By distinguishing the divergences, the manhwaphiles will be able to observe a progression or not. Yet I am glad that I decided to postpone this essay because the chapter 47 had an impact on this topic.

Now let’s go back to the first masturbation. (Chapter 9)

It happened right after a sex session, to be more precise, the artist had witnessed a threesome (chapter 9). The low-born couldn’t wait any longer hence he abruptly left the lord who wanted to see the new creation. (Chapter 9) Baek Na-Kyum excused himself with a lie, he would show him when the work would be finished. However, the true reason for his departure was his erection. Notice that he is using the paper to hide his erected phallus. He was also on his knees before, when Yoon Seungho approached him. The cause of his sexual urges is revealed with the following drawing. (Chapter 9) This drawing represents the painter’s perspective. As you can see, the painter’s eyes are focused on the lord’s hand touching the butt and anus. From my point of view, he is imaging the lord’s touching him. This time, the artist is conscious and can no longer repressed his sexual desires. Later, his gaze focuses on the other uke, the one penetrated by our main lead. Here, it is quite clear that the artist wishes that he had replaced Min. (Chapter 9) In both cases, the painter never painted the sex partners’ faces properly so that it would easier to imagine for him to switch places with them. All these zooms reveal the growing sexual desires. That’s why he feels the need to masturbate, as he can’t repress this urge any longer. This didn’t escape Yoon Seungho hence he couldn’t help himself smiling. (Chapter 9) Although the painter had been quite rude and left him behind, the lord wasn’t bothered. In fact, he was pleased that he had indeed affected the artist.

Remember what I said about this scene. The masturbation happens right behind the door, since he wants to hide his homosexuality. Notice that the man is on his knees and hiding his eyes with his arm. It was, as if the door was not enough, he is refusing to see himself masturbating. (Chapter 9) This position displays his denial about his sexual orientation. His body covers his phallus and his gesture. (Chapter 9) His eyes might be open but his spirit seems to be elsewhere. He is not really looking.Because the readers never see his gesture, they can not be certain. Hence Byeonduck had to draw a picture with his erected phallus showing his masturbation. Striking is that the moment he feels that he is about to climax, he closes his eyes. Here again, this reinforces the statement that Baek Na-Kyum is determined to refuse to face reality and deny his attraction for a man, for the noble. (Chapter 9) When the sperm comes out, it lands on the floor. This is quite important as it illustrates the artist’s attitude towards the semen. He considers it dirty and filthy hence he makes sure that his hand doesn’t get soiled. That’s how much he despises himself and his needs but he can no longer repress these urges. He prefers closing his eyes, masturbating behind a door and using his body to cover his filthy gesture so that no one can ever witness it. But he is too focused on his needs that he forgets that he is making noise so that Yoon Seungho knows what he is doing. At the end, you sense the low-born’s despair and disgusted attitude with his final position. (Chapter 9) The manhwaworms feel his strong refusal to admit his attraction towards the noble, his sexual arousal and his sexual desires towards Yoon Seungho. The painting had such an effect on him, it awoke his repressed sexual desires.

Now, if we look at the masturbation in the chapter 46, the manhwaphiles can detect the huge change. Now, he is no longer hiding his gesture with his body as he is lying on the floor on the side. (Chapter 46) However, he has still a position where it is still protected. If someone came from the side, they wouldn’t detect immediately what the low-born is doing. This can be explained that there is still some shame left but it is now related to his perception that homosexuality is a synonym for prostitution. That’s why he is still reserved. On the other hand, the semen doesn’t land on the floor but on his hand which shows that he no longer feels disgusted.(chapter 46) Some readers complained that he didn’t wash his hand before falling asleep. Yet what they failed to realize is that this proves that Baek Na-Kyum no longer perceives sperm as dirty and filthy. This symbolizes a huge step forwards. Now, if we compare the two masturbations, the readers will notice another huge divergence: the chronology of the drawings of Baek Na-Kyum with closed or opened eyes. In the chapter 9, we had first the painter with opened eyes as he was lost in his thoughts and the moment the ejaculation was about to come, he closed his eyes. Here, we have the opposite, first the closed eyes. (Chapter 46) The reason is simple: he is not lost in his thoughts, quite the contrary. All his thoughts are revolving around the master confirming the change of his attitude. He is no longer denying his attraction towards the noble. That’s why the author lets the manhwaphiles see the images he has in his mind. What caught my attention here is that the painter had visions of the moments, the lord made love to him. (chapter 42) (chapter 46) In the last picture, this happened right after the painter had made a sort of confession which triggered the lord to become more vigorous and passionate. This shows that he sensed the lord’s affection but he can’t define this as such yet.

Surprising is that the moment he feels the ejaculation, he opens his eyes. He is astonished by his reaction. (Chapter 46) The kiss triggered the climax indicating that the kiss, full of love and passion, moved him so much. He sensed the lord’s love stronger here. Since his eyes are wide-opened, it clearly shows that the man is actually facing reality. He is no longer hiding, running away from his sexual desires and admitting that his feelings towards Seungho have changed. Notice that this time, he even questioned himself for this reason. Why could such a kiss provoke such a reaction? He is now looking for an answer, he is no longer running away. He wants to discover the truth.

The final difference is that the painting was the trigger for Baek Na-Kyum to masturbate in the chapter 9, while here it is the opposite. The paper is still blank. However, the next morning he presents a new painting to the lord. So the masturbation and the memories with Yoon Seungho did trigger him to paint. In other words, Yoon Seungho inspired him. (Chapter 47) What caught my attention in the new drawing is that he didn’t select the memory we saw: (chapter 46) The low-born chose the position when the lord complained about the artist’s poor techniques. In this situation, it reflects the artist’s state of mind. Since he considers himself as a prostitute, he felt the need to choose such a position: The picture should mirror his actual situation (whore). That’s why the comment from Deok-Jae hurt the painter so much. He saw it as a confirmation. Besides, the lines in the painting seem uncertain and in the middle there are traces so that we feel Baek Na-Kyum’s lack of confidence and his hesitation. We have to imagine that he didn’t paint for some time.

However, I feel that despite this choice, the painting reflects the artist’s positive transformation. The size of the paper is bigger. Secondly the artist’s body is now as big and important as the noble’s. Both are in the center, while in the picture of Jung In-Hun’s inauguration, he was so small, even in the other drawings. (Chapter 41) Furthermore, his face is more defined. Now we are able to see his eyes, unlike in the past, where he had no face and as such no identity. This drawing symbolizes something important. Little by little, he is gaining a new identity. Therefore the readers shouldn’t judge this picture as something bad, even the noble was pleased. The painter created a new picture on his own (without any clear order from the seme) although it has become clear that the aristocrat no longer needs the pictures. For Seungho, it represented a huge step because the picture was bigger and more detailed than the former ones. He saw as a improvement of their relationship. Sure the artist had another reason for this picture. It was an attempt to be perceived as a painter and not just as a prostitute. But like I wrote in another analysis (Drawings and emotions, part 1), each picture reveals the commoner’s emotions and state of mind: a painter and a whore, yet he has eyes now. He is no longer denying his homosexuality.

That’s why I would like to conclude this essay with the following advice. Despise the pain and the sadness, try to notice the positive details in the future because so far in each chapter of the second season, I could perceive a progression, although the painter doesn’t feel like it. It is part of a painful process: maturing is never painless. The moment he will lose his innocence for good, he will become a man and will be able to face adversity. He just needs a guide to help him to go through this phases. Unlike Candide who had to find his dream in life on his own, Yoon Seungho will be by the painter’s side to protect him and give him a new goal in life. They both save each other.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Tumblr-Twitter account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Painter Of The Night: The chamber where everything changed

~ Bébébisous33 ~ Leave a comment

This is where you can read the manhwa. https://www.lezhinus.com/en/comic/painter But be aware that this manhwa is a mature Yaoi, which means, it is about homosexuality with explicit scenes. If you want to read more essays, here is the link to the table of contents:  https://bebebisous33analyses.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/table-of-contents-painter-of-the-night/

In this analysis, I will compare two major scenes (chapters 20-21 versus chapters 41-42), which happened both in Baek Na-Kyum’s study and chamber. In this chamber, our main lead, Yoon Seungho, has sex with the painter BNK.

The moment the lord Yoon Seungho forced the painter to live in his mansion, the latter was sent to the room next to Yoon Seungho’s bedchamber. One of the reasons for this was that it was much easier for BNK to enter the lord’s chamber in order to paint the erotic scenes. However this also outlined the special status the noble gave him. The noble would have never let someone live close to him whom he didn’t trust. He knew that the painter represented no thread to him.

Now, you are wondering why these scenes should be compared to each other. First, both scenes mark a turning point in the relationship between the lord and the painter. Secondly, through the comparison, you get a better understanding of the chapter 42 and why it also illustrates a crucial moment for the painter, whereas the chapters 20-21 marked a pivotal moment for Yoon Seungho.

What caught my attention was the way both scenes showed so many parallels. Let us a take closer look:

  1. both scenes were predated with an argument between the painter and the teacher Jung In-Hun. In the picture below, you can observe Seungho witnessed from far away how BNK got upset. chapter 19

The lord can not hear the content of the conversation but he observes that Baek Na-Kyum is hurt and upset due to the teacher. The latter has just discovered that the invitation and the support from Yoon Seungho has nothing to do with Jung In Hun’s abilities. Then he resents the low-born. In the chapter 41, Yoon visits the painter’s study because he heard from the servants that the painter wouldn’t leave his room and would keep painting without eating much. As you can see, the lord pays a lot of attention to the mental health of the painter. He knows from the way BNK is acting that something is wrong. The reason for BNK’s strange behavior is that BNK had just heard before from Jung In Hun that he was born to be a prostitute. His love for In Hun was so pure and for the teacher, BNK was just a prostitute.

The quarrel started because the painter asked the teacher what would happen to him, once the learned sir would succeed the civil service examination. The scholar refused to take any responsibility for the commoner, as he claimed that he was already experiencing a huge change and getting a lot of benefit from Yoon Seungho. The artist had to hear from the one whom he admired the most that he was just a prostitute in his eyes. (chapter 40) The main lead was definitely hurt. Nonetheless, Seungho never witnessed their conversation, unlike in the chapter 19. And in this chapter (19), the rich lord thought that the expensive bottle of wine that had disappeared had been snatched by the painter due to his emotional state. Since the aristocrat had already figured it out that the painter was upset, he decided to visit the artist’s chamber. In other words, in both cases, the lord showed some concern about the painter, and wanted to keep an eye on him. At the same time, he desired to discover the truth about the missing bottle of wine

2. In both scenes, the painter made the first move on Seungho, which contrasts so much to the artist’s normal behavior. The latter has always kept pushing away the rich lord. He always tried to avoid his touch and even his gaze.

chapter 19: here notice his gaze. He never expected a kiss from the artist.

In the chapter 42, BNK didn’t kiss the lord right away, he asked Seungho first to hold him. However, there was no reaction from the lord, since BNK had yelled at the noble before which led Seungho to slap the painter for his disrespect. Unlike in the chapter 20-21, there was no quarrel between the lord and the painter… but there was a huge misunderstanding. BNK mistook YSH for the teacher and thought, Jung In Hun was visiting, hence he kissed him. Back then, he was under the influence of alcohol, yet this revealed his deepest wish. He wanted to confess his love for the teacher. Striking is that in both kisses, Seungho keeps his eyes opened.

chapter 41

In the chapter 20, he was surprised and shocked, in the other chapter he is uncertain about the kiss. He has no idea why the crying, visibly upset BNK is asking for his embrace. Nonetheless, BNK’s kisses did affect Seungho whom I have been described in another post as someone detached and emotionless. While he criticizes the painter’s kiss in the chapter 42, this would not arouse him, in the earlier chapter he made no complaint. He saw it as an opportunity to finally taste the painter. He was not annoyed by the lack of inexperience unlike in the chapter 41. However, both kisses have something in common. Both outline BNK’s innocence and purity. These kisses are not here to excite the partner but to express a deep and pure love (chapter 19) or to ask for warmth and comfort (chapter 41).

3. The other similarity is the presence of Jung In Hun in that chamber, although the teacher is not physically there. In the chapter 19, the love confession BNK made was actually addressed to Jung In Hun and not Seungho. Furthermore, BNK kept calling Seungho “my learned sir” and that’s how the painter used to call his beloved teacher. Since BNK was drunk, he mistook the wealthy lord for his loved one. I would even say that BNK is actually imagining JIH’s presence. He is not really seeing the teacher as the author gave us a few pictures from BNK’s perspective. It was as if he wished, the teacher would be there. He drank so much in order to drown his sorrows but to be more precise, he drank in order to escape from reality, like he was in ecstasy. He preferred living in an illusion than facing the reality that the teacher has never loved him and will never loved him. For BNK, this night is like a dream. In other words, this night where BNK lost his virginity was an illusion and a dream. That’s why at the end, he cried out of happiness and even told Seungho that he was happy. But for Seungho, this night had another signification. First, he thought that it wasn’t too bad if BNK mistook him for JIH as he could finally taste the painter. However, as time passed on, he could no longer bear hearing from BNK “learned sir” hence he proposed BNK to call him “lord”. As you can see, the shadow of JIH in the room did bother Seungho. And for Seungho, this night in the chapter marked a pivotal moment as well. He heard a pure and innocent love confession and at the end, when BNK told him that he was so happy and his heart was full, Seungho’s heart was moved and touched. I doubt that Seungho had ever heard before that he could make someone happy. Since BNK had kept his virginity intact for his loved one and confessed to Seungho indirectly, this night gives the readers the impression of a wedding night. Back then, the husband usually joined the bride much later. But the problem here is that all this was also an illusion and a dream for Seungho as everything said and done was addressed to the learnt sir and not to our main lead. This explains why our seme is looking for a renewal of this night later.

As I had mentioned before, in both scenes the readers felt the presence of In Hun in this chamber. In chapter 41, his shadow is indicated by the drawing,

Notice Seungho’s reaction: his gaze shows his displeasure and shock.

Although the painter is kissing him and even asking him to embrace him, the lord refuses and becomes even angry at the low-born. He doesn’t want to become intimate with the painter because this is related to Jung In Hun. Our seme is even quite brutal and even grabs BNK’s hair. He even criticizes BNK’s kiss saying that with such a move he can not be excited. But this rejection from the lord doesn’t even upset the painter, hence he becomes more proactive. He grabs Seungho’s loin, undresses himself (chapter 41), he would have sex with the seme without any preparation. The lord is actually surprised by BNK’s actions because this doesn’t resemble him at all. He acts as a prostitute that’s why Seungho asks if the teacher has talked the painter into it.

But by comparing these two scenes, I noticed some differences as well. We can observe a huge contrast between these two scenes. While earlier, Seungho was just looking for sex, he found love or better said, he tasted the illusion of love and enjoyed it very much. Baek Na-Kyum was a virgin, totally inexperienced and innocent who asked the noble to be careful with him. And in chapter 41-42, the opposite is happening. The artist is actually acting like a prostitute… it was, as if he was looking for sex but this is not what Seungho wants. I say prostitute because BNK is acting as if he was doing a job and not seeking love and affection. He considers himself as a prostitute as he has received support from the lord all this time and he thinks that Seungho has always perceived him as such. There is no seduction in this scene as BNK has been “forced to prostitution”. Actually, the painter’s words contradict his words and his actions. He doesn’t say that he wants sex because he keeps begging for the lord’s embrace. Being hold is connected to warmth and affection. And here, the reader can feel the pain and despair from the painter. Jung In Hun’s words (“you are born as a prostitute”) are still in his mind. Here, BNK is doing the exact opposite of the night in the chapter 20. He is no longer running away from the reality and living in an illusion, BNK wants to face the reality. The slap from Seungho should be considered as a wake up call. Baek Na-Kyum can not ignore the lord’s status, he can not mistake him for someone equal to him. In both scenes, BNK overlooked the lord and this is not what Seungho wants. He wants to be perceived as the person he is: a lord who worries about the painter.

Then in order to underline the contrast between both scenes, while their first night took place during the night, the kiss in chapter 41-42 happens during the day. As you can see, the time reinforces the idea of illusion (chapter 20-21) and of reality (chapter 41-42). So since the artist is facing reality, he has decided to follow his lord’s orders (painting erotic pictures) and he acts as a prostitute, because he really believes what Jung In Hun said before. He is taking the teacher’s words as face value, while in verity Jung In-Hun has no idea that Yoon Seungho is treating BNK more like a lover and even “wife”. Back then, it was a custom that the lord visits the chamber of the wife and concubine. But the artist is not really aware of all this. And just like in the chapter 20, the aristocrat is annoyed and even jealous of the place the learned sir has in Baek Na-Kyum’s mind and heart.

Another difference is that in the chapter 20 Seungho wanted to sleep with BNK right away and BNK had to stop him. The painter had to confess his virginity and his fear and this confession surprised the lord as he never expected this from the low-born. Since the painter came from a gisaeng house and would paint sodomy, he naturally thought, he had experienced. In the chapter 42, Seungho does the opposite. While BNK wants to start right away, the noble questions BNK’s behavior and points out the need of preparation. And this difference out lines the special care the lord has for the painter. He really determines not to hurt BNK physically, while the latter doesn’t care at all. Like I had mentioned before, the physical pain is to replace the emotional pain.

Striking is that even in the chapter 42, their first night is even mentioned. The painter confesses that he did enjoy the night, he even concedes that he likes painting such erotic pictures. Since he is facing reality, BNK admits for the first time his homosexuality which had been suppressed by the teacher all this time. But at the same time, he is admitting that he is a prostitute which is shown through his actions. However, he can’t even say this to the lord. What caught my attention was the contrast between these scenes when it comes to eloquence. Although BNK was drunk in the chapter 20-21, his confession was well spoken (“I admire you”, “I pine for you”), in the chapter 42 he is neither sick nor drunk, yet he is unable to talk properly. He stutters and can’t even finish his sentences “I’m… a …”). The pain is so strong that he is left speechless.

He is so hurt that he wants to have rough sex (“harder”, “so it’s all the way in”). He wants to be physically hurt so that he can no longer feel any pain in his heart. It was as if he wanted to erase the words In Hun spoke from his mind. Hence he says “So I can’t think of anything else”. Strangely, BNK’s gesture and position show the change in their relationship. He is now facing the lord, he even grabs the noble’s hand and puts it on his stomach. It is such an intimate gesture outlining that this is much more than senseless sex. BNK has not realized the contradiction between his words (“harder”/ “to hold me”) and his actions (grabbing his loin/putting the hand on his stomach). We can see that BNK is actually lost and confused.

However, just like the night from the chapter 20 changed everything for Seungho, this night changes everything, as BNK is no longer running away from reality. (chapter 42) He is no longer suppressing his homosexuality and he is accepting to have Seungho by his side. Just thinking about In Hun causes pain to the painter here, while he was in ecstasy in the chapter 20. He even wrinkled the painting of the ceremony with In Hun which shows the huge pain in his heart. (chapter 41) For him, paintings are treasures. This gesture reveals some changes in BNK. The painter is well aware that the teacher has abandoned him as the former doesn’t want to assume any responsibility. Therefore, his disrespect for the picture is a sign of disrespect for the teacher. Although he has internalized In Hun’s words and views, he is so affected that he no longer admires In Hun like before. In the chapter 42, he no longer calls Jung In Hun “learned sir” but “my teacher” which illustrates that BNK no longer views IH as a noble (“sir”) but as a simple teacher. He only sees Jung In Hun in his actual position and not as his social status. We all know that despite being a noble, JIH is not rich and influential. He belongs to the lower nobility. IH is no longer put on a pedestal. But BNK has still some respect for IH as he calls him “my teacher”. So there is still a string between the teacher and the painter but it is about to disappear.

There is another common denominator in both scenes: the tears. While the artist cries out joy and happiness in chapter 21, here his tears are linked pain and sorrow, as the artist is heartbroken. (chapter 42) This time, it is the lord who initiates the embrace, something the painter had been longing. (chapter 41) Yet, this request only got fulfilled at the end of the love-sex session, the main lead put the painter on his lap while kissing him and even embraced him in an desperate attempt to console the artist. Simultaneously, this shows that Seungho is longing for warmth, love and tenderness. But despite this night, Seungho is well aware that Baek Na-Kyum is not loving him. He has sex with him because BNK has confessed before that he has never hated the things he did with Seungho which represents a huge step for the lord.

However, the huge contrast is that Seungho is unaware of the reason for the artist’s distress and pain in chapter 41-42. He thought that it was related to the scholar’s departure. Hence he made no move on the painter, and was even a little rough, when he thought that the scholar had asked him to do such a thing. This reasoning illustrates that Yoon Seungho didn’t realize that the scholar had backstabbed the painter. He couldn’t recognize the true cause for the artist’s pain. At the same time, he failed to grasp that the artist had already moved on from the teacher. Besides, he never noticed that the artist had lied for him twice. He had feigned ignorance about the content of the conversation between the main lead and his brother. He had not betrayed his sponsor and host. (chapter 38) Striking is that the painter blamed himself. From my point of view, the painter’s confession could only wound the noble’s heart. (chapter 41) He had the impression that he was somehow responsible for the artist’s tears. Yet after this night, Yoon Seungho had sensed that something had changed in their relationship, just like Baek Na-Kyum’s relationship with the teacher had changed. Notice that this room is connected to betrayal, love, sex and pain.

In conclusion, this chamber is full of symbolism. Here, a noble could feel warmth and love for the first time, although it was just an illusion. Yet he became addicted. As for the artist, this room represents the place where he decided to confront reality. In this room, the lord joins the painter which seems to indicate the future position in the couple: Seungho is willing to meet the painter. The reason for the connection between the study and the change is that in that precise room, the lord had experienced the same: betrayal, sex, love and pain. In my opinion, this is where he got sexually abused.

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