Jinx: After All, Before It’s Too Late 🕚 📞

My avid readers might have been wondering why I haven’t released any new analysis yet. The reason is simple. I am back at school, and preparing lessons for my students had to come first. But when episode 74 was released, one detail immediately caught my attention. It was small, almost easy to overlook, yet the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to hold the key to understanding not only this chapter, but Joo Jaekyung’s entire story. 😮

So let me turn the question over to you. What is the common denominator between these three panels?

(chapter 73) (chapter 74) (chapter 74) What do they share? You might already have noticed it. At first glance, the answer seems obvious: each sentence turns around the word after. But if we pay closer attention, it is not just after that repeats, but after all. And here, the “all” quietly carries the weight of everything. A slight shift, but one that feels significant. But why this expression, and why here? Why does it resurface precisely in the context of Jaekyung’s family and past?

At first glance, after is nothing more than a temporal marker, a word of sequence. But in these sentences it feels heavier, almost final. It does not look forward — it looks backward. In other words, it doesn’t open a path; it shuts a door. And in episode 74 especially, it echoes like a refrain that has been defining the champion’s life. His world has always been framed in terms of after all. And this immediately raises another question: why did these people, so different in role and attitude, all use this idiom when addressing or describing the young champion?

But then—observe the contrast. When Joo Jaekyung embraced his fated partner, the words that rose within him were not about “after” but about “before.” (chapter 70) For the first time, the flow of time shifted. Besides, no explanation, no certainty—just an admission that something happened beyond his planning or reasoning. Where the earlier lines spoke with closure, this one arrived without a verdict. But what does this “confession” signify for the athlete now?

This is the mystery I want to unravel. What does “after all” truly embody in his life? Why has it shaped him so deeply, and why is the “before” so revolutionary when it finally appears? To answer these questions, I will proceed step by step: first examining the parents’ words, and finally the director’s cold repetition in episode 74. From there, I will turn to the symbolic role of the phone and its destruction, before concluding with the comparison between the manager and the grandmother—two figures who, each in their own way, perpetuate or challenge the cycle of “after.” And at the very end, I will return to the sentence that changes everything: (chapter 70)

The Parents’ After All

Joo Jaewoong’s Verdict

The first “after all” comes from the father: (ch. 73) At first glance, this might sound like a simple insult, a way to degrade the boy by comparing him to the woman who abandoned him. Yes, I wrote “him” and not them on purpose. Joo Jaewoong brought her up in direct response to his son, because the teenager had voiced his first wish in front of his “legal guardian”: (chapter 73) He was announcing his desire to leave this place, as if he wanted to abandon his father. Nevertheless, he just said it out of anger and frustration. Yet, those words pierced Joo Jaewoong, for they reminded him of his wife’s betrayal. Unable to face his own failures, he retaliated by thrusting her image back onto the boy. (chapter 73)

The staging is crucial. Father and son stand facing each other, (chapter 73) locked in confrontation, while in the past, the woman had already shown her back — a gesture of refusal that foreshadowed her desertion. She had withdrawn in silence; the man, however, lashed out in noise. Both abandon, but in different registers: hers in silence and absence, his in noise and abuse. But the father’s gaze was selective. (chapter 73) While he saw a mother holding a boy, he overlooked that the protagonist was actually clinching onto his own mother, who had already distanced herself from the child. In other words, he mistook rejection for embrace. What he perceived as proof of her influence was in fact the trace of her withdrawal.

Thus the father’s “after all” is more than a mere insult. It is an erasure. By shifting all blame to the absent mother, he buried his own wrongdoings. The bruises, the insults, the nights of terror (chapter 73) — all were rewritten into a story where the woman was the sole traitor, and the child nothing more than her extension. In this way, the boy was denied recognition as a victim in his own right. He had been abandoned too. He had been abused either. He became instead a mirror in which his father projects the wound of being left behind.

The tragedy is that this was Jaekyung’s first attempt at self-assertion in front of his father, his first voiced wish as a child. (chapter 73) And yet it was met not with listening and understanding, but with condemnation and mockery! (chapter 73) Why? It is because the father didn’t trust him, as he didn’t trust himself either! Because the father attacked him verbally, the boy replied in kind — escalating words he would later regret. (chapter 73) The cycle of reproach was sealed. From that moment on, he understood the danger and the destructive weight of words. (chapter 73) To speak was to wound, to be wounded in return. Besides, the boy could never speak of this truth. He carried the memory of that last conversation in silence, crushed by the belief that he bore guilt for his father’s death. Shame and responsibility bound his tongue. That is how words, once used against him as weapons, became impossible for him to wield in his own defense. However, this was only the beginning of his withdrawal into silence. His fists would become his language, his body the only safe instrument of reply.

In the end, the father was betrayed — not only by his wife, but by himself. (chapter 73) For in his world, there was no place for we, no place for a family. By reducing every bond to reproach and violence, he erased the very possibility of belonging. His after all thus becomes the verdict on his own life: a man left alone, responsible for his own misery. He complained the absence of gratitude from his son, while he had done nothing for him. (chapter 73) The betrayal he lamented was nothing more than the logical outcome of his own principle. There had never been a we — only a man clinging to his pride, a woman turning her back, and a child caught in between. His after all (chapter 73) exposes this rupture: instead of binding father and son, it isolates them, placing Jaekyung outside of any shared identity. By calling him “your mother’s son”, he does not recognize the boy as his own. The word becomes a substitute for “we,” a marker of distance rather than union. He also denies the very identity of his son: the boy is reduced to a reflection of the mother, and nothing more. In this moment, the child is stripped of individuality, framed only as an echo of the parent who had already left. For years afterward, this wound silenced him — until much later, when a reversal finally emerged. When Jaekyung embraced his fated partner, the words that rose within him began not with after all but with before I (chapter 70). Only then did he speak again as a person in his own right, expressing a wish unshaped by the verdicts of adults or the weight of guardianship. Thus he expressed his thoughts and emotions through the body.

The Mother’s Excuse

And it is precisely here that the mother enters the stage. If the father used after all to erase his own guilt and deny the possibility of togetherness, the mother confirms that distance with a final gesture (chapter 74) — not by facing her son, but by cutting him off, hiding behind a phone call and a single merciless click. (chapter 74)

The scene is loaded with irony. (chapter 74) In the past, the boy had dialed her number from the same public booth (chapter 72), clinging to the hope that she might answer one day. Eventually, those attempts ceased — but not the attachment. What remained was the number itself, saved under “Mom” on his phone (chapter 74) Here, he was old and rich enough to buy his own cellphone. The phone number was no longer a channel of communication, only a relic: a fragile thread he could not sever, because the fact that she never changed her number sustained the illusion that reunion was still possible. That dormant hope was shattered only when she finally picked up — not out of recognition, but by mistake, assuming the unfamiliar call must be important. (chapter 74) And so, after years of silence, his voice reached her at last.

What followed crushed him. She did not yell like the father; instead, she cloaked her rejection in polite detachment: (chapter 74) repeating “please” twice — not out of kindness, but because he had become a source of threat to her new life. (chapter 74) Her words, “please never call me again,” sealed the door he had long believed ajar.

What once seemed like a lifeline is revealed as evidence of her selfishness and cowardice (something I had already outlined before in The Loser’s  Mother: Fragments of a Mother), and the unchanged number, which kept him hoping, now exposes her duplicity. This is why remembering his past will not only free the champion, but also help him to move on. At the same time, it also set in motions a quiet karmic reckoning for the “mother,” whose very act of leaving the number unchanged betrays her. Interesting is that Joo Jaekyung is exactly like his mother: he has not changed his damaged cellphone and number either!! (chapter 66)

Her words presented abandonment as if it were a mutual choice (chapter 74), an agreement between equals. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth: the child had no choice, no power. Worse still, she used his own earlier words against him — the part-time jobs, the savings he had scraped together in order to welcome her back. Since he had money, he could keep living on his own. What for him had been a desperate declaration of love, for her became justification to let go: he was, in her eyes, already independent, already “grown-up.” (chapter 74) Only then comes her final blow: “After all, you’re all grown up now.” The position of after all here is crucial. (chapter 73) Unlike the father, who spat it at the end of his sentence as a weapon, the mother puts it first, as if it were the very foundation of her reasoning. Placed at the front, it functions like a gatekeeper — a barrier the son cannot pass through, because everything that matters has already happened before him.

In other words, she uses time itself as her excuse. (chapter 74) By saying after all, she makes his age and the passing years the justification for her betrayal. She turns maturity — the result of neglect and abandonment — into a pretext to abandon him further. In her mouth, time is not a healer but an alibi. For him, however, time is the enemy. Every night of waiting, every unanswered call accumulates into a debt that cannot be repaid. This is why, years later, Joo Jaekyung has been racing against time — as if by moving fast enough, by piling victory upon victory, he could undo the stillness of those years when nothing came back to him. His obsession with routine, with never stopping, mirrors the silent cruelty of her after all: if she made time the reason to let go, he would make time the proof that he never let go.

Here, the phrase does not simply refer to his age. All encompasses the totality of what she has built without him: her remarriage, her new family (her second child whom she calls “dear”), her wealth, (chapter 74) her present comfort. He stands after all of this — chronologically, emotionally, socially. In her reordered life, the child who once clung to her is relegated to the back of the line, behind every new bond she has chosen to recognize.

And yet, before uttering after all, she cloaks her rejection in seemingly gentle words: “Please understand… let’s just go our separate ways.” (chapter 74) At first glance, the sentence suggests civility, as if both parties had been walking the same road until now. But this is the deception. In truth, she had abandoned him long ago. This “family” (“our”) only existed in the boy’s mind, a dream born from her lies. For the mother, this “family” was already dismantled and replaced; for him, it was the one thing keeping hope alive. By phrasing it this way, she rewrites history, disguising her betrayal as a fresh, mutual decision rather than an old wound that never healed. The implication is that nothing was broken before — that only now, as adults, they might choose to part.

In doing so, she not only denies the rupture of the past, she also erases the promise that once tethered him to her. Why else would he plead, (chapter 74) unless she had once suggested that possibility? His words reveal that he had been clinging to a seed she planted long ago, a future she quietly abandoned while building a new life elsewhere. And what was that seed? Not just her vague suggestion that “once they have money”, or (chapter 72) “the father no longer represents a menace to her” but the very fact that she gave him her phone number. To a child, that number was more than digits on a page — it was proof of connection, a lifeline, an assurance that she could be reached, that she might one day answer.

But in reality, the number was a cruel illusion. She never changed it, which prolonged the fantasy that she still cared, that reunion was only a call away. Yet when the call was finally answered, it revealed not hope but finality. The “click” of her rejection was as violent as any blow from his father — the sound of a door closing forever.

Thus, her rejection is doubly violent: it crushes his final hope, that’s why the boy cried for the last time. (chapter 74) Furthermore, it gaslights him into believing that the abandonment never occurred — that the break is only beginning now. (chapter 74) The repeated please underlines her fear: he is not a son to welcome back, but a threat to the fragile world she has constructed without him. She has a lot to lose!

The irony (chapter 73) (chapter 74) is merciless: in just three letters, all hides the immensity of his suffering — (chapter 72) neglect, starvation, abuse, loneliness, betrayal — and yet the parents invoke it not to acknowledge his pain, but to hide their wrongdoings (justify their betrayal) and as such their failure! By placing after all at the front of her sentence, (chapter 74) the mother tries to turn the page unilaterally, as though this single phrase could close the chapter for good. It is not dialogue but dismissal, a way of shutting down the past before her son can reopen it. In other words, it’s a verdict too disguised as an excuse!

Placed at the end of the father’s sentence (chapter 73), after all erupted in the heat of reproach — spontaneous, yes, but no less destructive. It was triggered by his wounds, by the memory of betrayal he could not bear. Yet even in its impulsiveness, it carried no apology, no trace of self-reflection. Like the mother, he used the phrase as a verdict, not an opening — a way to wound, not to reconcile.

By contrast, the mother’s after all sits at the beginning of her sentence, cloaked in calm reasoning, stripped of any trace of spontaneity. Where the father lashed out, she closes off. Joo Jaekyung is now trapped between these two “after all”: one erupting in rage, the other draped in reason. Together they form a prison of words where apology has no place and the child’s voice is nowhere to be found. No wonder why the celebrity has never apologized to doc Dan in the end. At the same time, it explains why after this phone call, Joo Jaekyung had nothing to “lose”. The adults had destroyed the child’s soul and heart.

For Joo Jaekyung, there is no way back from this sentence. With ‘after all, you’re all grown-up now,’ his mother denies him the right to still be a child in need of care. ”After all”, he can also not deny his ties to her. His origins and even time itself become his enemies — he can never rewind, never reclaim the place of the baby who once clung to her. Her words brand him as someone beyond help, beyond nurture, beyond belonging. What she frames as maturity is, in fact, abandonment dressed as inevitability. The problem is that she is still alive. Unlike the father (dead) or the director (dying), she cannot escape judgment — not from her son, nor from others. By keeping the same phone number for years, she left behind proof of her continued existence. She could have fetched the boy at any moment, but she never did. Her responsibility doesn’t end simply because she decided to draw a line. (Chapter 74) Motherhood is not dissolved by a polite “please” or by a remarriage. She cannot erase this fact, however much she hides behind a new family or a change of circumstances. In this sense, the father’s words return as a curse for her: the truth of origin cannot be undone. The author is already implying this notion through narrative details.

The story itself shows us how enduring such responsibility is. (chapter 74) When the boy once caused trouble, the police looked for Joo Jaekyung’s guardian. In the cutthroat town, they reached out to Hwang Byungchul — not because he was legally responsible, but because everyone knew the boy was close to him (“we”). Guardianship, then, is never erased by silence. Even if you abandon the child, others will still hold you accountable.

And here lies the deeper irony: once Joo Jaekyung left for Seoul, he knew no one there. (chapter 74) In a city of anonymity, hearsay cannot replace documents. She left a paper trail — a legal identity that binds them together. Should the champion cause trouble in Seoul, or even become the victim of a crime, the police would have to turn to his legal guardian. And that can only be her.

The narrative already dramatizes this irony through the arcade incident (chapter 26). Oh Daehyun mentions that the young fighter broke the punching machine so many times he was blacklisted. Such destruction could easily have brought police intervention — and if it had, they would have been forced to search for his legal guardian. That guardian is none other than the mother who abandoned him and her new family. In other words, her erasure was never complete: every act of the boy risked pulling her shadow back into the open. Furthermore, this is what Kim Changmin revealed to his friend and colleague: (chapter 26) But Joo Jaekyung had long discovered sports and MMA, when he arrived in Seoul and met Park Namwook for the first time. (chapter 74) He had left his hometown because of the director’s suggestion.

Chapter 74 exposes the cracks in the narrative first built in episode 26. Back then, Kim Changmin and Oh Daehyun repeated what they had heard: that Joo Jaekyung had once been a troublemaker, a rich, spoiled brat who smashed arcade machines and got into fights — but that in the end, he was “saved” by sports, and especially by MMA and MFC. That’s why he didn’t recognize himself in the introduction: (chapter 26) This story clearly originates with Park Namwook, the manager, who positioned himself and the sport as Jaekyung’s saviors.

But episode 74 reveals the reality behind the myth. The boy wasn’t saved by MFC, nor by Namwook. It was the director, Hwang Byungchul, who intervened, who sent him to Seoul, (chapter 74) who redirected him before he was swallowed by the wrong path. The discrepancy between these accounts exposes more than just the manager’s manipulation: it points to the shadow of another intervention. How could he afford to destroy machine after machine without consequence? The only plausible answer is the “mother” and her new family, whose money and silence allowed him to pass as the “self-made” Emperor while erasing their own responsibility from the tale. And now, you comprehend why The Emperor was made voiceless. [For more read The Night-Cursed Emperor] Both MFC and the mother had a vested interest in silencing his true origins. For MFC, the myth of the “self-made champion” polished their image, free from any stain of thuggery — no whispers of money laundering, drugs, illegal gambling, or rigged games. For the mother, erasing the child meant erasing her own betrayal. The champion’s past was not only a personal wound but also a liability for others — a truth that had to be buried so that the façade of the Emperor could stand unchallenged. His silence, then, was never a choice; it was imposed, enforced by all those who profited from keeping his story untold. Should he ever speak up, he would expose not only the mother, but also MFC!

Because of episode 74, I came to resent the mother even more than before. She not only abandoned him twice, but toyed with his feelings. By answering once, she allowed his hope to flare up — only to extinguish it immediately. The phone that symbolized connection became the very tool of execution, its click as violent as the father’s punch. And just like her husband, she deceives herself. She imagines she can cut off ties completely with a single sentence, but until her death she remains legally and symbolically his mother.

The two after alls function like iron bars: one forged in the father’s rage, the other in the mother’s reason. Together, they create what you called a prison of words — a place where the boy cannot speak, cannot be heard, cannot be recognized. From that moment, he is not only abandoned but linguistically erased. His origins are denied, his childhood revoked, his future disowned.

And so, after the phone call, it is no wonder that Joo Jaekyung believed he had nothing left to lose. The boy’s heart had already been gutted; the rest of his path was merely survival. If he “went the wrong way,” it was because the adults had already led him there, sealing off every other route. They had destroyed the child before the teenager even had a chance to build himself.

This prepares the ground for the transition to the director: if his parents’ after alls built the prison, then Hwang Byungchul is the figure who becomes the witness of that imprisonment. Unlike them, he doesn’t openly wound with words — but his silence, his blindness, and his refusal to protect the boy make him complicit. He becomes the guard outside the prison walls.

The Director’s After Everything

When Hwang Byungchul says (chapter 74), the breadth of everything seems, on the surface, to acknowledge the sheer weight of Joo Jaekyung’s suffering. The word is heavy, expansive, suggesting years of accumulated pain, betrayal, and neglect. Yet, paradoxically, this very expansiveness is also a way of avoiding precision. By collapsing starvation, countless humiliations, abandonments, and traumas into a vague everything, the director sidesteps naming the concrete betrayals he himself witnessed. His silence here is telling: he cannot bring himself to articulate the parents’ cruelty, nor his own passivity in letting it happen. In front of the doctor, he had admitted himself that he had not raised him: (chapter 74) For doc Dan who embodies the present, such a statement can only become the ultimate truth: the star had been an orphan like him.

Moreover, his next word probably — betrays another form of distance. If he truly knew how the boy felt, if he had ever asked or listened, there would be no need for such hedging. Probably admits that he never entered the boy’s inner world, never gave him the space to voice his despair. It is the language of a bystander, not of a guardian. In fact, this hesitation exposes his complicity: Joo Jaekyung “went down the wrong path” not only because of the parents’ abandonment, but also because the one adult who remained nearby chose observation over intervention. (chapter 74) At the moment when Joo Jaekyung shattered the cellphone, Hwang Byungchul was not by his side but standing at a distance, directly in front of him. This means he must have seen the boy’s face — the tears, (chapter 74) the trembling hands, the rage that barely concealed heartbreak. He did not need to overhear the mother’s words; the child’s body language told the story with brutal clarity. (chapter 74) In that instant, the director could have stepped closer, offered consolation, or simply acknowledged the wound he was witnessing. Instead, he kept his distance, both physically and emotionally. He refused to assume a role as legal guardian.

The same pattern repeats at the father’s funeral. (chapter 74) Once again, the director was there — but his presence was mute. He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, yet he never lent him an ear. He never invited the boy to speak, never created a space where grief, anger, or longing could be put into words. In other words, he was present in body but absent in voice and heart. Thus the director’s pat was a gesture of pity. It was a substitute for words, a way of saying “poor boy” while protecting himself from deeper involvement. But precisely because he withheld speech and listening, it denied Jaekyung the chance to articulate his own grief. It comforted without connecting.

This silence is not neutral. By withholding words, he deprived Jaekyung of language at the very moment he most needed it. A child learns to process suffering by speaking it into existence and having someone else respond. Denied this, Jaekyung internalized the pain wordlessly — forced to embody it through his fists, through destruction (chapter 74), through fighting. Thus the director’s quietness, his refusal to engage, became a formative wound in itself. He chose the safety of distance over the risk of involvement, and in doing so, left the boy’s cries unanswered.

Thus, the director’s after everything is double-edged: it gestures at recognition, but functions as concealment. He names the boy’s burden while sidestepping his own. What sounds like empathy is, in truth, pity — a way of acknowledging suffering without engaging it. It allows him to speak about Jaekyung’s pain while avoiding both the betrayal he witnessed and the silence he himself maintained. In this sense, after everything is less an opening than a shield: a phrase that distances him from responsibility under the guise of compassion.

And because the boy had no one by his side that night, he concluded he had nothing to lose. Stripped of home, voice, and care, he stood in a void where even those who should have protected him kept their distance. The director’s silence, his refusal to step in or give the boy an ear, reinforced the sense of abandonment. Far from steering him away, this absence of guidance nudged him toward the wrong path. In this way, the man who might have been a safeguard became instead a silent accomplice to the boy’s fall. Hence he put the blame on the main lead. (chapter 74)

Hwang Byungchul was called to the police station in order to correct his past wrongdoing. (chapter 74) He was given a chance to step in, to finally become the guardian he had failed to be on the night of the boy’s deepest collapse. Therefore it is no coincidence that he claims to have raised him, while the readers are well aware of the truth. (chapter 74) Yet the way he handled the moment revealed the full extent of his contradictions.

The director was never one to turn his back on Joo Jaekyung. (chapter 74) He always faced him, (chapter 74) or sometimes stood beside him, kept him in sight. On the surface, this could seem like loyalty, but in truth it was another form of failure. Facing him head-on meant constant confrontation, constant judgment. His presence was physical, but never protective; it was discipline, surveillance, not refuge. He never had his back!!

Instead of offering himself as support, he wielded the parents as weapons. (chapter 74) The father was dragged into memory as a warning: “Do you want to end up like him?” The mother, already gone, was turned into a conditional model: “Would she even want to live with you if she could see you now?” In both cases, the boy was denied his right to grieve. His parents were not mourned, but transformed into instruments of discipline. He was forced to run from one shadow and to chase another, leaving him no space to simply exist. The director maintained the future champion trapped in the chains of the past.

This strategy erased the present. Jaekyung’s worth was always defined against the dead or the vanished, never in who he was here and now. It was never about him!! Happiness, stillness, or pride in the moment were impossible; only punishment and striving remained.

When the director invoked the mother again that night, it exposed his blindness. (chapter 74) For him, she was a symbol — fuel for perseverance, as he was projecting his own mother onto the boy’s! For the teenager, the mother was the deepest wound. By naming her, the director imagined he was motivating; in reality, he was tearing it open once more. But how could Jaekyung reveal the truth — that his own mother had rejected him, not just once, but twice? To admit this would have been to confess that the hope she dangled before him, the dream of reunion, had been nothing but a cruel game. His silence was not pride but a shield, for voicing it would mean exposing that even his mother’s love had been counterfeit. (chapter 74) Thus his silence was not indifference but defense: he was protecting her name, even when it burned him to do so. In shielding her, he also buried himself.

And the director used this hesitation to his own advantage. This shows that Hwang Byungchuld had no intention to listen. He answered with his fist right away. The punch to the chest crystallized his stance: discipline over empathy, control over dialogue. What he offered was not guidance but force, unwittingly echoing the very violence of the father he condemned. (chapter 74) That is how another pattern emerges: every exchange the boy endured was never true conversation, but always structured as an argument or a challenge. Even here: (chapter 72) At home, his father turned dialogue into a bet — a contest of strength where affection was absent and only victory mattered. Later, in front of the police station, the director reproduced the same pattern: invoking the mother not to console, but to provoke, to test, to challenge. In both cases, words became weapons. They did not open space for Jaekyung to speak; they cornered him, forcing him either to resist or to submit. This explains why in season 1, the two protagonists had similar interactions.

Thus when the boy lashed out and the director struck him, the failure was complete. He had been given a chance to correct the past — to be a guardian rather than a spectator — but instead he repeated the cycle. His discipline came without empathy, his presence without listening. In the end, he did not save the boy from the wrong path; he helped push him further along it, for MFC is strongly intertwined with crimes.

However, the argument followed by the punch seems to have functioned as a wake-up call for the director as well. (chapter 74) For the first time, he shifted ground and no longer invoked Jaekyung’s parents as warnings; instead, he summoned the memory of his own mother. After everything she had done for him, he insisted, the boy should repay her sacrifice by leading a better life. Yet here again the same logic returns: time weaponized, gratitude demanded, obligation imposed. What might have been a tender remembrance of maternal care was turned into a debt-ledger pressed onto Jaekyung’s shoulders. (chapter 74) For him, discipline was always bound to her presence, her food, her care, her silent labor that sustained the gym. By invoking “the mother” as a motivator, he was, in truth, repeating the only model of loyalty and endurance he had ever known. But this was borrowed authority, not Jaekyung’s. What may have given the boy a flicker of purpose in the moment — to endure, to fight “for her sake” — (chapter 74) could not last. It was never his voice, never his wound being acknowledged. It was an external script imposed upon him. And so, over time, that imposed motivation faded, eclipsed by the title and the money. (chapter 54) The director’s form of guidance could not sustain him; it was external, borrowed, conditional. Therefore, it is not surprising that he was never contacted after the main lead’s departure for Seoul. By then, the director had already become like his own mother — reduced to a memory (chapter 70) and nothing more. He neither possessed the boy’s number nor showed the desire to stay connected; worse, he had told him explicitly never to return. (chapter 74) Through both words and attitude, he conveyed that their paths were to diverge for good. Yet, this was never truly his intentions. In cutting him off so decisively, he enacted the very separation he condemned later. The boy had taken his words too seriously.

Park Namwook’s Lately

If Hwang Byungchul cloaked his failure under the phrase after everything, Park Namwook disguises his own negligence in the word lately. (chapter 56) (chapter 66) His care always comes after, never before. The word itself reveals his stance: he notices change, but belatedly, when damage is already done. The main lead is now escaping his control. And now, you comprehend why PArk Namwook blamed Joo Jaekyung and slapped him at the hospital. (chapter 52) That way, he could divert attention from the “before and circumstances”. And in season 2, the man hasn’t changed at all. Instead of asking what caused Jaekyung’s crisis, he chides him for straying from the routine — for not showing up at the gym, for being absent.

This exposes the essence of Namwook’s guardianship: reactive, not proactive. He does not anticipate storms; he waits until they break and then demands the champion hold himself together. In this way, his “lately” becomes the twin of “after everything.” Both phrases externalize responsibility. Both erase the speaker’s complicity in the boy’s suffering and downfall. Both subtly suggest that the fault lies with Jaekyung himself (chapter 52), either for not rising above (after everything) or for drifting from his prescribed path (lately).

But the crucial difference is that the boy no longer remains silent. With Namwook, for the first time, Jaekyung voiced his emotions. (chapter 52) The slap at the hospital was more than a physical outburst; it was the eruption of long-repressed truth. Where he once swallowed pain in silence for his mother, and later endured fists in silence for his coach, here he answers back. Lately thus marks not only Namwook’s delay but also Jaekyung’s refusal to bear the weight alone anymore. (chapter 52)

The paradox is sharp: Namwook embodies all three guardians at once — the father’s abuse (chapter 73), the mother’s silence through the cellphone (chapter 74), the director’s passivity. He is their synthesis, a distorted heir to their failures. Like the mother, he has his own family on the side, (chapter 45) his true life hidden elsewhere. Like her, he conceals his absence behind a phone call, creating the illusion of presence without truly standing by the boy. (chapter 45)

Hwang Byungchul and Park Namwook echo the same blind pattern: they fault the fighter for straying (chapter 52) , (chapter 70), while remaining oblivious to the rot within their own world and the medical world. The director accused Joo Jaewoong of “choosing the wrong path,” (chapter 74) never admitting that boxing itself was already entangled with the underworld. Likewise, Park Namwook reproached Joo Jaekyung for the mess, while in reality he had been a victim. The incident with the switched spray was reduced to two people: doc Dan and Joo Jaekyung. Funny is that by invoking lately and after all , they have the impression that delayed blame could substitute for real support. Both stand as authorities who issue reprimands only once the harm is irreversible—always too late, always at a remove. In doing so, they preserve the illusion of responsibility while avoiding the real corruption at the core of their institutions. They deny the existence of “victims”. By doing so, both Hwang Byungchul and Park Namwook sustain the illusion that the system itself is clean, and that all fault lies with the individual fighter. In their eyes, there is no exploitation, only bad choices. This explains why the CEO’s fabricated apology disturbed Namwook (chapter 69): for the first time, a figure of authority assumed responsibility, however insincerely. What to others looked like shallow PR, to Namwook appeared as a dangerous break with the rule of denial. It highlighted the emptiness of his own guardianship, where reproach replaces protection and victims are erased from the narrative.

This is why the expression lately becomes so important. With it, the manager pretends to care but really reveals distance. He notices changes but reacts belatedly, hoping the boy will revert to the old champion who endured everything. “Lately” is less concern than crisis delayed, a signal of his failure to respond in time. Instead of seeing the broader corruption of MFC, the scheming of rivals, or the weight of past trauma, Namwook shifts the blame onto the champion himself. The reproach he delivered in the hospital — his version of a slap — confirms this change. For the first time, Joo Jaekyung answered back, voicing emotions rather than swallowing them.Yet unlike them, he faces a Jaekyung who has begun to change. The boy he could once manipulate through reproach and delay now resists, signaling that the cycle of belated guardianship may finally fracture. This means that the very first meeting between Joo Jaekyung and Park Namwook in episode 74 is already announcing the end of their “collaboration.” 8chapter 74) His first words expose his true nature: ruthless and blindness. For him, Joo Jaekyung was just a fresh meat. The latter is not recognized as an individual and human. And if he remained by the manager’s side for many years, by recollecting their past, the main lead should recognize how the “wrestler” started distancing himself from the “boy”. At some point, he got married and got three kids…

Moreover, from the beginning, the manager could never be more than a placeholder, because Jaekyung would not remain his “boy” forever. By recalling their past interaction, the champion can now recognize that Namwook was never truly part of his life. Why? Because after all — the language of the “guardians/adults”— is tied to the night, the moment of deepest loneliness and loss. (chapter 73) (chapter 74) (chapter 74) The night represents what Jaekyung has always been missing: not training, not discipline, but a home where warmth endures after dark. A place where he can expose his vulnerability and be himself! (chapter 74) Honestly, it would be funny, if the champion used the same words than his own mother against the manager (chapter 74) and this would take place because of a cold!! Another possibility is blocking his number. It would close the circle of abandonment, but this time he would be the one in control. The irony is sharp: what once marked him as powerless and discarded becomes a tool of emancipation. Instead of being silenced, Jaekyung would be the one drawing the boundary, declaring that the “family” Namwook pretended to provide was nothing but an illusion.

And if this scene were triggered by something as simple as a cold, the irony deepens. A cold is usually dismissed as trivial, but for Jaekyung it would symbolize care denied. Nobody in his childhood noticed his fevers or his wounds — and Namwook, too, is too far away to notice that he is sick. He has always treated sickness as weakness to be hidden or endured, not as a moment to express love and care. (chapter 70) Thus the manager is confident that the star can return to the ring. By cutting the manager off in such a moment, Jaekyung would be affirming that he no longer accepts neglect disguised as toughness. Both “directors” are trapping the champion in the chains of the past and the future. For them, there’s no present and as such no happiness or fulfillment. Hence Hwang Byungchul is even bored, when he watched the MFC match. (chapter 71) Deep down, he has been longing for company too. Now, he is finally talking…. (chapter 70) As you can see, it is never too late… Thus we saw this on the roof of the hospital: a real and intimate conversation between the “guardian” and his pupil: (chapter 71) The director has changed!

Shin Okja’s before

And now, you are wondering how the halmoni has been affecting the champion’s life, for the former met the celebrity rather late in her life. If the director’s vocabulary circled around “after everything” and the manager’s around “lately”, the halmoni’s word is “before.” It is the most deceptive of the three, because it does not point to a rupture or a change, but instead dissolves them. Keep in mind what she confided to the main lead on the beach: She presented her grandson as an orphan, right from the start. (chapter 65) So for someone like Joo JAekyung who suffered from constant betrayals and abandonment, his lover’s childhood must have sounded like a “blessing”. She tells the story of Dan’s life as if he had simply always been without parents. When she recalls, “He grew up without a mom and dad… my heart just breaks for him,” the formulation makes it sound as though nothing was ever lost, nothing was ever taken away — it was simply his condition from the start. Doc Dan didn’t get hurt by his parents through their words or actions.

This is the function of her “before”: to erase abandonment itself. Instead of admitting there was a moment after which Dan was alone, she rewrites the narrative so that he never had parents at all. By doing so, she transforms tragedy into fate. The parents vanish not as agents of betrayal, but as if they never existed. This absolves not only them but also herself: there is no wound to confront, no injustice to name.

This is why her “before” is so insidious. In her version of events, Kim Dan was never abandoned — he was “lucky” to always have her. She erased the loss of his parents by rewriting the story: no trauma, no wound, no victim. Just a boy who had someone by his side. And contrary to Joo JAewoong, the champion’s mother and Hwang Byungchul, she had been gentle and attentive. She had seen him drinking, smoking… she had nagged, but the physical therapist had never listened to her. (chapter 65) She can appear as the perfect role model in the athlete’s eyes. No wonder why he listened to her and brought doc Dan to a huge hospital in Seoul. But here is the thing…. (chapter 65) The grandmother’s narrative culminates in a deceptively simple phrase: “And then, one day, he just grew up.” Unlike after all, which implies endurance, patience, and a long lapse of time, her then one day compresses everything into a brief, almost casual instant. In her telling, there is no slow accumulation of wounds, no process of wear, no history of pain to be endured. The transformation is presented as sudden and natural, as if nothing of significance had preceded it.

This brevity is precisely what makes her before so insidious. She denies the child the depth of his suffering by reducing the entire loss of his parents, his struggles (bullying) (chapter 57), and his forced maturity to a single, fleeting day. No trauma, no endurance — just inevitability. By collapsing years of hardship into a harmless “day,” she erases both the past and the victim. And now, you can understand why doc Dan is trapped in the present! By erasing the “before” (abandonment, trauma) and trivializing the process of “becoming an adult,” she collapses time into a single, static present. Kim Dan is not allowed a past that hurts (because she erased it), nor a future that could unfold differently (because “he just grew up” is presented as inevitable).

All that remains for him is the present moment of survival — working, enduring, fulfilling duties, without a sense of continuity. He cannot look back with clarity (since the story of his childhood has been rewritten), nor forward with hope (since his adulthood was framed as an instant fait accompli).

That’s why, compared to Joo Jaekyung — who is bound to the past (after all, memory, endurance) — Kim Dan is bound to the present: caught in an eternal now, where nothing really changes. Under this new light, my avid readers can grasp why doc Dan has not confided to his halmoni about the incident with the switched spray. First, the grandmother would remain passive and secondly, this would be erased and even diminished to a single and insignificant moment.

Before I knew it, I was…

With this simple phrase, (chapter 70) Joo Jaekyung crosses the invisible threshold that has defined his entire life. For years, he had existed only under others’ names and authorities: the son of a failed boxer, the mother’s son, the pupil of a coach, the protégé of a manager, the champion of a league. His identity was always tethered to someone else’s frame of reference, never to his own. But this line signals the birth of the I—a voice no longer spoken for, but speaking.

What makes this moment decisive is its anchoring in the present. In the past, the present was unbearable: nights of insomnia, rooms filled with silence, the sense of living only for the next fight or the next insult. The after all had become a synonym for “painful nights”. The guardians around him distorted time itself—“after all” became an endless call for endurance, “then one day” reduced years of suffering into nothing but a passing moment. In reclaiming the present, Jaekyung finally escapes those distortions. The present no longer equals absence, fear, or punishment; it becomes the ground of tenderness, heartbeat, and authentic feeling.

Yet feelings, as Kim Dan reminded him before (ch. 62)— (chapter 62) cannot, by themselves, sustain love. Emotions flare and fade, tied to the immediacy of the present. Thus the mother could break her promise and even lie to him later. What endures is not emotion alone, but the principles that Fromm identified as the essence of love: care, responsibility, knowledge, and respect. These qualities stabilize the fleeting nature of feeling and transform the present into something continuous, something that can grow. In this sense, the teddy bear bridges the gap between “present” and “future”: (chapter 65) it transforms the fleeting moment of emotion into a promise of constancy. After all, before it’s too late, what both men longed for was never glory or escape, but a home where they could rest — not alone, but in each other’s arms. By discovering emotions and learning to live in the present, the champion also rediscovers his inner child. His line — “Is this a joke?” — marks that shift, since jokes, like emotions, only exist in the immediacy of the moment. It is only a matter of time, until he laughs because of a joke. By embracing doc Dan like a teddy bear, he allows himself to cling and regress, no longer the wolf or the Emperor but simply a boy seeking warmth. Even his cold becomes symbolic: (chapter 70) illness forces him to slow down, to be vulnerable, and to receive care — something denied to him in childhood. In this way, love turns the regression into healing, transforming weakness into the possibility of renewal.

Thus Jaekyung’s story closes the circle: once trapped in the timelines of others, he now inhabits his own time. The “I” he has found is not just the voice of desire, but of choice. Love is no longer an illusion or a prison—no longer tied to debt, silence, or obligation—but a deliberate act that carries him into the future.

PS: I am suspecting that the mother is hiding behind this name: Seo Gichan, (chapter 5) and if it’s true, then this person would be the second husband.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or Manhwa, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Twitter-Tumblr account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Jinx: The Birth of the Shotgun 🔫🪨 (part 1)

Reading a Life Through Glimpses

Baek Junmin is not a character the story introduces directly, yet his presence has cast a long and invisible shadow over Joo Jaekyung’s life. Though he appears in only a handful of chapters—47, 49, 51, 52, and 73 [I am excluding the match]—his role is far from minor. He is, in fact, one of the main invisible architects of the champion’s trauma and jinx, the one who once stood across from him on a night that would shape the course of both their lives. Long before he was known as the Shotgun, Baek Junmin might have pulled the trigger on something else entirely: the last remnant of Jaekyung’s innocence. (chapter 73) Their violent encounter may have led to the vanishing of the young boy’s smile, replacing it with the hardened scowl of the Emperor, the tyrant in the ring. (chapter 1) If Hwang Byungchul gave Jaekyung the tools to fight, Baek Junmin gave him the reason to fight like a bloodthirsty tyrant. He did not simply scar the soul — he engraved rage into the champion’s core. The tragedy is that Joo Jaekyung never even learned his name. Thus he didn’t react to his name, only to his face and his smile. (chapter 47) And yet, Baek Junmin reappears, not as a stranger, but as the remnant of a past that refuses to stay buried. Additionally, he appears only through the narration of others (fighter) (chapter 47) or in flashes (chapter 73) — a gesture here, a line there (chapter 73) — before vanishing again. To understand him, we have to read between the panels, compare the boy we meet in episode 73 (chapter 73) to the man who resurfaces much later. (chapter 47) This is how we catch glimpses of him — by holding the present up against the past, by noticing what has changed and what has stayed the same.

The clues are scattered like pieces of a puzzle: a way of standing, the choice of clothing, how he hides among others or suddenly steps forward, the company he keeps. Each fragment feels small on its own, but when placed side by side, they begin to sketch an evolution — not told directly, but implied.

And like any puzzle, the final picture depends on how the pieces are arranged. What follows is the story that emerges when I fit these fragments together — a version that exists only because I chose to see the connections this way.

The Ears: Traces of Unspoken Fights

Though his hoodie and shadowed posture attempt to conceal him, Baek Junmin’s body betrays traces of a buried past. (chapter 73) A careful look at his face in chapter 73 reveals the early signs of cauliflower ear, particularly on the right side—a subtle swelling, the deformed curvature of the cartilage. These are not the ears of a novice. They speak of blows taken in silence, of matches fought outside the spotlight. (chapter 73) Such an injury is not congenital, nor cosmetic. It is the ear’s irreversible memory of repeated trauma, often earned through unregulated or unsupervised fighting.

This visual clue confirms what his words and clothes only hint at: (chapter 73) Baek Junmin was already an illegal fighter before becoming The Shotgun. And yet, unlike Joo Jaekyung—whose cauliflower ears are far more pronounced (chapter 47) than Junmin’s ears (chapter 49) Jaekyung’s ears mark him as a champion who faced real opponents in real matches, many of them brutal. His injuries are the price of transparency, visibility, and legitimacy. They are scars earned in the light, while Baek Junmin is supposed to be a novice. (chapter 47)

This contrast exposes the truth. Not only Baek Junmin’s ears were the evidence of a long career in the ring (illegal fights), yet they feel more secretive—a residue of unsanctioned violence and criminality. If Jaekyung’s ears are a badge of honesty and legality, Junmin’s are a whisper of something illicit. They suggest that while the fights may have been real (death), the stage was hidden. (chapter 47) His damage was earned in the shadows and in staged fights manipulated by higher powers. (chapter 47)

The Face – From Full to Hollow

The first thing that changes is his face. (chapter 73)

As a teenager, Baek Junmin has fuller cheeks and healthy skin—a face still marked by youth and perhaps untouched by prolonged hardship. But years later, his skin adult face is hollowed out. (chapter 49) His cheeks have sunk, his jaw stands out more sharply, and his features seem carved by something deeper than age. This is not the look of someone forced to cut weight for competition, (chapter 37), for the new rising star is already much smaller and thinner than the protagonist. (chapter 49) It’s more likely the result of long-term stress, emotional corrosion, or drug use.

But it’s not just the face that speaks—it’s the context in which these bodies live.

In chapter 73, Park Juho casually offers drugs to Joo Jaekyung, claiming (chapter 73) This line is telling. It reveals not only the normalization of drug use among these teenagers, but also how intimately it’s tied to fighting. Juho isn’t offering an escape—he’s offering a tool. For him, drugs aren’t about rebellion or recreation; they are a performance enhancer. They’re marketed as part of the fighter’s toolkit.

This moment confirms that in the environment where Baek Junmin came of age, violence and substance use are not only linked—they are institutionalized. The discipline of the gym has been replaced by street rules, where the edge you gain doesn’t come from technique, but from chemical courage. And Park Juho is no outsider: he was once a member of the gym. His descent—and his promotion of drugs under the guise of athletic benefit—reflects the rot that spreads when survival replaces structure and true care.

In contrast, Joo Jaekyung—despite the violence of his career—has retained a kind of “babyfaced” youthfulness. (chapter 44) His skin is clearer, his features softer, and his face shows fewer signs of internal collapse. This is the effect of healthy food, structured discipline, clean training, and perhaps even emotional restraint. While Junmin’s face has been thinned by chaos, Jaekyung’s has been preserved by control. Under this light, it becomes comprehensible why the athlete fell in love with doc Dan at first sight. Despite being older, (chapter 7) the “hamster” still carries a baby face: a visual marker of youth, innocence, and gentleness. He embodies everything the Shotgun does not: vulnerability without corruption, softness without vice. If Baek Junmin stands for a corrupted adulthood — weapons (The Shotgun), shadows, and counterfeit gold — then Kim Dan, by contrast, becomes the sanctuary of all that was lost: the child, the smile, the safe bed.

Even before the gloves go on, the face tells the story: Baek Junmin’s path diverged long ago. He didn’t just take hits—he absorbed a life that ate away at him from the inside.

The Boy in the Hoodie

The first time we see the young Baek Junmin, he is not framed as a fighter. There are no gloves on his hands, no stance that invites a challenge. He is simply there — standing off to the side, wrapped in a black hoodie whose shadow swallows his shoulders and the line of his jaw. The garment is loose enough to blur the contours of his body, turning him into a shape rather than a figure.

His appearance captures the essence of what English calls “keeping a low profile.” But in French, the idiom garder un profil bas unfolds with even greater nuance—each of its synonyms revealing a different facet of his behavior and circumstances. Se faire discret (to make oneself discreet), être modeste (“to be modest”), rester dans l’ombre (to stay in the shadows), and ne pas attirer l’attention (to avoid attracting attention) all resonate with how he moves through this scene. The hoodie conceals his expression, his posture erases his presence, and his silence blends him into the background (“fade into the background“). He appears modest (être modeste), even passive —yet this modesty is not a personality trait, but a form of self-erasure taught by danger. He has become so invisible that he has succeeded in being forgotten (se faire oublier = to keep a low profile). Years later, when he finally stands before the protagonist again, the champion doesn’t recognize him. But Baek Junmin remembers. His question in chapter 49 (chapter 49) reveals that anonymity was never his desire. It was his sentence.

Why was he hiding? The answer lies in the world he came from. As hinted in chapter 18, (chapter 18) criminals don’t want attention. They avoid the law. They train their subordinates to vanish, to move through shadows, to speak only when spoken to. Baek Junmin wasn’t just playing a role —he was surviving a system that required him to erase himself. His hoodie was not simply clothing; it was a muzzle, a shadow he had to wear. That’s why the protagonist has not made a connection between his nemesis Baek Junmin and a Korean gang yet. (chapter 69) How is this possible, when it is clear that the antagonist is already a thug? It is because Joo Jaekyung has no idea about his true identity. He only knows him as a cheater and liar!! (chapter 51) In the past, he bought someone… but let’s return our attention to the past.

In a scene where others choose to stand out — one boy in white, another in red — (chapter 73) he blends in by choice. Black is not a neutral here; it is a decision to recede, to be part of the backdrop. The fabric pools around his hands, hiding the skin, while the hood hangs like an unspoken “no comment.” Even when he speaks, it is without volume or force. (chapter 73) His role in the exchange is that of a conduit — not the source, not the decision-maker, but the man in between. Striking is that another French synonym for “to keep a low profil” is “staying quiet” (se tenir coi) or “making himself small” (se faire tout petit) which totally reflects this scene.

And yet, he is not one of the low-tier errand boys either because he knows a higher-up (“his hyung”) (chapter 73) His positioning in the group is telling: physically closer to the speaker of authority, not lumped with the ones who will later be sent to do the dirty work. He is high enough to be trusted, low enough to avoid exposure. The hierarchy is implicit, mapped not by dialogue but by body placement. However, let us not get deceived. Despite Park Juho’s seemingly confident address—“Your hyung”—a closer look at the actual power dynamics reveals something far more fragile and unstable. (chapter 73) In the panel where Park Juho seeks verbal confirmation (“Right, Junmin?”), Baek Junmin’s response is subdued and minimal: “Yeah, that’s right.” He can just confirm what the other said. In fact, he is merely echoing the boy’s words—repeating them rather than asserting his own. This is not the confident affirmation of someone in control, nor the proud acknowledgment of a respected enforcer. It is the submissive response of someone complying with expectations, playing a role assigned to him—one he does not command.

Moreover, the fact that Baek Junmin physically removes his hood at that moment (chapter 73) —exposing his face—feels less like a gesture of confidence and more like a necessary performance to project even a semblance of authority. But that display only reveals how hollow his authority truly is. The power rests elsewhere: with the unnamed hyung behind the scenes.

This moment shatters any illusion that Baek Junmin has standing in the criminal underworld. He is no legend—just a middleman, entirely expendable. His presence, reduced to compliance and posturing, contrasts sharply with that of Park Juho. Though younger, Park Juho is no longer passive. He is making decisions, initiating conversation, and trying to recruit a new member. His behavior signals an emerging agency. In fact, Juho is gradually stepping into the very role Baek Junmin once tried to fill—but failed to claim. (chapter 73) The balance of power is shifting in real time, and Junmin seems to be on the verge of being silently replaced. This explains his intervention at the end. He doesn’t want a new recruit because he fears in him a rival.

There is another subtle but telling detail in this scene: the antagonist is introduced simply by his first name—Junmin. On the surface, this might suggest familiarity or equality. Yet this lack of a full name also reveals something deeper. It speaks to the absence of legacy, the absence of recognition. Junmin already has the ears of a fighter (chapter 73), this means that he is already fighting in the illegal underground ring, but he has no name that echoes his “success”. He is not the legend in the Gwanwon Province yet. (chapter 47) He is a man without renown, without lineage, this explicates why he is involved in drug dealing. This anonymity stands in sharp contrast to Joo Jaekyung, whose name will soon be attached to his first tournament win, marking the beginning of a visible, documented ascent, though I don’t think, the main lead will ever come to enjoy his victory… Not only because of his father’s death… but because of the Shotgun! My theory is that The Shotgun will make him lose his “trophy”, his victory! I will explain it further below!

Anyway, Junmin’s namelessness foreshadows his descent into the shadows, while Jaekyung’s path points toward visibility, acclaim, and transformation into a symbol: fame and success. He will be able to live out his father’s dream. (chapter 73) And notice that the legend is trapped to a province, indicating that he could never make it out of there like the champion! Therefore it already implies that the future “Shotgun”‘s association with the hyung is not based on loyalty or mutual respect—it is circumstantial, even transactional. It is about money and usefulness. And now, you comprehend why Baek Junmin’s position in this gang is quite precarious.

In this light, Junmin’s silence and brief confirmation expose his true position: subordinate, replaceable, and dispensable. He is not the king of this realm, but already a shadow… almost like a ghost! He’s lingering on the margins of both the law and the underworld, hovering between anonymity and infamy. After his painful encounter with Joo Jaekyung, he was told to keep a low profile. And he succeeded. He disappeared so thoroughly that not even Joo Jaekyung, whose life he once upended, could remember him. He ghosted himself (another synonym for keep a low profile) into oblivion—until the day he was reloaded.

Years later, he emerges again—but this time as a tool. Yet, I have the feeling that this man has always been a device, yet he failed to grasp his true position, as he has always faded into the background and copied others. Though he was never prosecuted for the deaths mentioned in chapter 47, (chapter 47), the five tattooed lines above his eye silently proclaim his kill count: 5 people. (chapter 73) That’s the same number of persons in the dark alley, when you exclude Joo Jaekyung and Baek Junmin (chapter 73) He has crossed the line: he entered the criminal world for good. Now he is no longer just a ghost, but a weapon with a body count. And this is precisely why his transformation into the Shotgun carries such grim symbolic weight. (chapter 49) A shotgun isn’t a subtle weapon—but it can be precise. It is powerful, direct, and designed for maximum impact at close range. In that sense, Baek Junmin isn’t just any tool—he is a weapon that must be pointed by someone else. His value doesn’t lie in legacy or longevity. It lies in the force he delivers when fired. He doesn’t aim; he is aimed. And like any tool of destruction, he can be reused, discarded, or silenced as needed. His body may carry tattoos and scars, but he has no voice in the system that uses him. Thus I deduce that this nickname was not entirely chosen by Baek Junmin, he was definitely influenced by his surrounding and he agreed to it, not realizing the true symbolism behind this name. Note that his nickname was only revealed, when he faced his nemesis. The target was the Emperor.

What makes this image linger is not just the hoodie (chapter 73), but what lies at its hemline: garbage bags. Stacked casually against the wall, their plastic skins catch stray glints of light. They are not the clean, tied-off kind; their surfaces are rumpled, slack in places, suggesting that some are only half full. It is a setting that smells — even if the page is silent — of neglect.

Garbage is not a neutral backdrop either. In visual storytelling, it speaks of disposability, of things used and discarded, of value extracted and then abandoned. And here, it frames Baek Junmin as much as the hoodie does. He is in this environment, not passing through it. Thus this motive appears once again: The refuse mirrors his role: useful for a time, easy to replace, meant to be kept out of sight until needed. It foreshadows what will happen to him years later, when he too will be treated as disposable by the very people who profited from him. (chapter 52) Note that Director Choi Gilseok doesn’t express concern for Baek Junmin, his attention is on the Emperor!

If we look carefully, the hoodie and the garbage share a function: both conceal. The hoodie hides the individual; the garbage hides the traces of past actions. Together, they create a space where identity and accountability dissolve. It also exposes his moral corruption.

This is the Baek Junmin we meet first — not the legend of the underground fighting circuit, not The Shotgun. He is almost anti-spectacle. And that is precisely why the contrast with his future self (chapter 47) — gold chains glinting, tattoos displayed, chin raised — feels so stark. To move from this shadow into the spotlight means something happened in between, something that flipped his calculation about visibility.

But for now, in this first glimpse, he is a boy learning the rules of survival: keep close to the powerful, keep your profile low, and never draw attention to yourself unless you can win the moment you do.

He doesn’t even enter the scene until the champion is gone. Joo Jaekyung has already brushed off the offer of drugs, already walked away into the dark, by the time Baek Junmin makes his approach. (chapter 73) This timing matters. It means the two men share a street that night but not a glance — the main lead never sees him, never knows they have crossed paths. And now, you know why the Shotgun could never forget him: a source of threat. This contrast exposes the truth: Not only the future Shotgun was already a thug, who kept his true nature well hidden, but also Joo JAekyung was totally misjudged: he is far from being a thug! He is totally honest (chapter 47),he doesn’t take pride in killing someone.

And yet, from Baek Junmin’s perspective, the scene in episode 73 is their first meeting. So he was never part of the “Hwang Buyngchul’s boxing studio”. For Joo Jaekyung, it is nothing — an evening that passes without incident. But this imbalance changes everything. When we later see them square off in the present-day hallway, it becomes clear that Baek Junmin is fighting a private, unfinished battle. (chapter 49)

The scene in chapter 73 becomes the prologue to a hidden chronology. Since the champion’s nemesis implied in the hallway that they had met personally before (chapter 49) and there was no direct interaction between them in the street, I come to the conclusion that their past must have crossed a second time between these two meetings. If we take the hallway encounter as their third meeting (chapter 49), there must have been at least a second — brief, sharp, and wounding enough to carve itself into Baek Junmin’s memory while leaving no conscious trace in Joo Jaekyung’s. The difference is telling: what the champion repressed, the Shotgun carried it like a scar. It means Baek Junmin knows more about him than the reverse, and every glare, every barb he throws later is sharpened by a history Joo Jaekyung couldn’t anticipate they share

The street itself is dim, (chapter 73) lit only in patches, with more shadow than clarity. In this kind of setting, the black hoodie becomes something more than clothing — it is camouflage. He is not merely wearing the dark; he is using it, letting the folds of fabric and the absence of light blur his edges. It is as if he intends to merge with the scenery, to be just another shadow leaning against the wall. This double concealment — in time and in space — ensures that, for now, he remains invisible to the one person whose attention he will one day crave. He began in the shadows not just by circumstance but by mandate. Yet as the boy in the hoodie fades into memory, a new figure will eventually emerge from those shadows—not to hide, but to strike. And he will no longer wear a hood. He will wear scars.

The Scar and the Tattoos: Carved Memory and Symbolic Death

In his youth, Baek Junmin bore no huge visible tattoos. (chapter 73) He only has a small one under the eye in the shape of a cross, an ambiguous symbol that could suggest death, a target or “devotion” (for the mafia). It was modest, even fearful. He seemed reluctant to mark his body, as though he feared being publicly identified as a thug or linked too closely to the criminal underworld. This caution contrasts starkly with his present appearance. (chapter 47) Now, his skin is heavily inked: an Oni demon slashes across his throat, a clear invocation of Japanese yakuza imagery and underground death culture. [For more read the essay Angels of Death: Shadows versus Serenity] So his transformation tells a story.

When Baek Junmin reappears in the present timeline (chapter 49), the change in his face is immediate and inescapable (chapter 73) — but only if we hold his past up against his present. The teenager in the black hoodie had smooth skin and no visible tattoos beyond a small mark under one eye, a calculated restraint that kept him from looking fully “claimed” by the underworld he moved in. His portray contrasts so much to the other teenager whose legs are covered by huge tattoos. (chapter 73) Now, Junmin’s face carries something far less deliberate: a scar running across his forehead above his right eye, a permanent reminder of an encounter that went violently wrong.

This is where the knife enters the story. Not as a vague metaphor for danger, but as an object with a history. We know Baek Junmin favors blades (chapter 47) — the demon tattoo on his throat clutches a knife between its teeth, a design too precise to be coincidence. In woodcarving, strokes are often carved with blades; in Baek Junmin’s case, the scar is a carving on flesh, an unwanted engraving that cannot be sanded smooth. The placement of the tattoo directly on his throat is almost poetic: the story of that scar is something he cannot speak, lodged like the blade between the demon’s teeth.

But the knife in Jinx carries an even sharper meaning. Hwang Byungchul once described the city as a cutthroat place — (chapter 72) and in this context, “cutthroat” is more than an idiom. It hints at the lurking threat of blades, at encounters in alleys and side streets where victory is stolen through speed and treachery. Joo Jaekyung has walked those streets without incident (chapter 72) (chapter 73) in the present timeline, but an assault there can happen any time.

And now, let me ask you where a knife was used before in the Manhwa? Naturally when the hero faced Heo Manwook (chapter 17) And what did the loan shark tell him before provoking him? (chapter 17) Based on the champion’s facial expression after hearing Heo Manwook’s questions, it becomes clear that Joo Jaekyung experienced in the past a scene where he faced a knife and his head was smashed with a bottle of soju. The criminals are recognizable due to their tattoos and their weapons, the knife! And the logic of the knife in this world is telling: as Heo Manwook showed (chapter 17), it appears when a fight is already lost. It is not a weapon of open combat, but of pride and desperation — a way to cheat fate when skill is not enough. Moreover, he was particularly vicious here. He attacked the champion from behind, a treacherous move. As you can see, the knife is strongly intertwined with the underworld, deception and cowardice.

You can actually detect many parallels between the argument with the champion’s father and the fight at doc Dan’s humble house: the twilight, the smashing of a bottle of soju on the head, (chapter 73) (chapter 17), a head injury (chapter 73), insults and provocations (chapter 73), (chapter 17) and finally an allusion to the “maker”, god versus father. (chapter 17) and finally DEATH!! (chapter 73) The loan shark was diminishing the young man’s skills and that his success was FAKE! Why? It is because the outcome was predicted. The winner and loser would already be determined.

And here the past/present contrast becomes more than physical. In his youth, he avoided conspicuous tattoos, perhaps to maintain a veneer of respectability and legitimacy — to pass under the radar, even as he acted as a middleman for his hyung. The black hoodie, the sparse ink, the way he let others handle the dirty work of selling drugs — all of it kept him in the gray zone, unremarkable to outsiders, even to Joo Jaekyung. But the scar changes that. A face without scars can blend in; a face with one becomes a story waiting to be told.

The most visible shift in his face is the scar on his forehead—a wound likely inflicted by Joo Jaekyung during their violent, knife-laced fight. Junmin must have decided to use it, when he felt threatened… but it backfired on him. This scar became a permanent reminder of his defeat, carved into flesh like a shameful birthmark. Its position on the forehead makes it impossible to ignore. It not only mars his appearance, but becomes an emblem of inferiority: a symbol that the world (and Baek Junmin himself) can see.

The connection between scar and the tattoo is more than symbolic—it’s thematic. Both involve penetration, cutting, and permanence. In Korean and Japanese culture, many traditional tattoos were made by hand, with needles or even small blades. (chapter 47) The Oni tattoo on Baek Junmin’s throat, where the demon wields a knife, is thus a mirror to his own scar: an acknowledgment of pain and an attempt to reclaim it as power. But there’s a paradox here. The tattoo shouts violence, but the original wound whispered shame. One was chosen; the other was inflicted. The thug is damned to keep this “humiliation” secret.

But his facial transformation doesn’t stop at the scar and the demon ink. Look closer, and you’ll see two small black dots beneath his right eye (chapter 49) —subtle, easily overlooked, yet loaded with meaning. These dots form a quiet counterpoint to the earlier cross tattoo under his left eye. They mirror each other, as if Junmin were trying to impose a kind of symmetry on his face—like a man seeking order through symbols after chaos has marred him. Their placement, right next to the scar, suggests something more: a visual strategy. Perhaps they are meant to divert attention from the wound, reframing the narrative of the face so the scar becomes part of a larger aesthetic rather than a standalone blemish.

Tattoo culture often loads such markings with coded meaning. In some circles, dots under the eye mimic teardrop tattoos, carrying associations of vengeance, mourning, or lived violence. It was, as if the criminal wanted to hide his “tears” and suffering. But Baek Junmin’s dots stop at two, not three—a gesture that resists completion. It’s as though he’s gesturing toward a story without finishing it, marking himself as wounded yet unfinished: they indicate his revenge. If the cross once stood for death or sacrifice, these dots represent his attempt to balance or bury that meaning, even as they draw the viewer’s eye to the very place he was disfigured. His body, and especially his face, has become a site of symbolic warfare—a battlefield of meaning, where shame, defiance, and imitation collide.

Contrast this with Joo Jaekyung, who also bore no tattoos in his youth. (chapter 73) Over time, the champion chose protective symbols— clouds and a dragon-like mask—tattoos designed not to intimidate but to shield. (chapter 1) (chapter 17) They represent protection, not aggression. Where Baek Junmin’s tattoos speak of death and destruction, Jaekyung’s express escape, survival and resilience. Even in their body art, the two boys tell opposing stories: one driven by resentment and darkness, the other by endurance and self-preservation.

But there is more. Baek Junmin’s body itself has become the evidence of a crime—his tattoos and scars forming a visual confession of his descent and his affiliations. Unwittingly, those who empowered him also helped preserve these signs. The very schemers who turned him into a weapon ensured he would one day become proof of their own corruption. In that sense, Baek Junmin truly is a shotgun—not just a tool of violence, but a loaded narrative, ready to backfire on those who pulled the trigger. Moreover, let’s not forget that the CEO vouched for Baek Junmin. (chapter 47) That’s the reason why the lady in red had to defend the Shotgun’s reputation and honor. (chapter 69) Nevertheless, they are here buying time. How so? If the champion were to fight again and even lose, they could bury the investigations. They were also biding time in order to stop investigations and the involvement of the media.

The shift in Baek Junmin’s appearance—from a cautious, hoodie-wearing boy to a tattoo-covered, self-styled villain—maps a descent into self-loathing and performative masculinity. He mimicked the criminal codes around him, but it was a copy without conviction. Hence years later, he is seen wearing a counterfeit Gucci t-shirt and fake jewels. (chapter 47) Is it a coincidence that back then one of the minions was wearing a fake Gucci t-shirt either? (chapter 73) No… he is copying others and in particular Joo Jaekyung whom he resents. Thus their attitude in the ring is similar (ruthless), yet both act that way for different reasons: pain and seriousness (chapter 15) versus fun and schadenfreude (chapter 47). His new persona feels exaggerated, theatrical, hollow. He wanted to become unforgettable, but ended up being another disposable fighter in a system that only remembers champions. Now, his face is ruined: he lost teeth and has a broken nose. (chapter 52) He can never look attractive again, hence he lost his value as MMA fighter for good. Despite the incident, Joo Jaekyung is still popular because he looks so young: (chapter 57) Hence the nurse felt sympathy for him. At the health center, he received his long due punishment. Baek Junmin learned through the hard way what it means fighting without rules. He got deceived himself, thinking that his “hyung” would have his back.

The irony is that the origin of his scar is one Baek Junmin cannot tell without exposing a deeper connection to his past and his criminal ties. And that would be “rigging a game”, making Joo Jaekyung lose his trophy! That’s why the ghost said this: (chapter 54) These words imply that the outcome was predicted… That’s the reason why Joo Jaekyung needs to remember the past. There lies the truth: they are “rigging the games because of bets!

And if our earlier deduction is correct — that the scar was the result of their unrecorded second meeting — then this is not just a wound, but the physical trace of their asymmetrical history. For Joo Jaekyung, that meeting was so brief, so quickly buried, that it left no visible mark. Yet don’t think, he was not traumatized. This changed the athlete forever. For Baek Junmin, it was formative, humiliating, unforgettable. The scar becomes both a reminder of his defeat and a motive for his revenge. (chapter 49) Imagine that the man has to see this scar on his face each day… the symbol of his defeat.

In this light, the knife and the scar are not separate symbols but intertwined: the weapon that failed him, the mark that betrays him, and the silence that binds them together. And now, you comprehend why he selected the Shotgun as stage name. It was to end his “curse”, living in the shadow of the celebrity.

The Shadow Trio: Joo Jaewoong, Baek Junmin, and the Ghost

Baek Junmin’s story becomes even more compelling (chapter 47) when set against two spectral figures in Jinx: the ghost (chapter 54) and Joo Jaekyung’s father, Joo Jaewoong. (chapter 73) These three form a symbolic trio—each marked by violence, marginalization, and a desire to escape the suffocating grip of their environment. Their most immediate shared trait? A smile that feels wrong. A grin not born of joy, but of cruelty, mockery, or powerlessness. Furthermore, all three are associated with trash and garbage: (chapter 47) (chapter 54) (chapter 72) Their words or flat reflect their mindset and role. They are waste, once used, they can be discarded. For me, it becomes obvious that the ghost from the champion’s nightmare is a combination of Joo Jaewoong and The Shotgun. Besides, observe how the father’s corpse (chapter 73) resembles to the “Shotgun” after receiving his “karma”: (chapter 52) Thus I deduce that Baek Junmin’s destiny was to go down the same path of Joo Jaewoong, unless he realizes the real root of his misery!

But let’s return our attention to the grins. The latter are paired with insults—bitter, scornful language that aims not only to hurt but also to humiliate. In all three, we detect a mix of resentment and impotence. And it’s no coincidence that all three are linked to the boxing world: (chapter 54), the father with his fading trophy, Baek Junmin with his own unspoken history in the underground ring and the ghost’s words linked to the champion’s hands. Together, they symbolize the toxic underbelly of combat sports, the place where dreams are sold and consumed.

But this trio isn’t a perfect mirror. There are divergences. Joo Jaewoong, though broken and addicted, had once been a professional athlete. (chapter 73) He had a past worth remembering—something he even clung to in his ruined apartment, preserving his medal and document like a relic. Baek Junmin, by contrast, never belonged to the gym. He wasn’t trained. He never received formal recognition. He fought in shadows, kept to the margins, and remained a “legend” only in the backrooms of Gangwon’s illegal rings because he trusted his “hyung”.

Joo Jaewoong also carried a paradox. He warned his son against the very path he had taken. He knew where it led—through the hands of people toward the underworld. (chapter 73) And yet he couldn’t resist gambling, drinking, or slipping further into that decay. He never kept a low profile. Baek Junmin, too, sought a way out. He almost wore no tattoos back then. His hoodie was black. He preferred to remain invisible. Unlike the younger thugs around him, he wasn’t flaunting power. He was navigating survival. His strategy was to stay hidden long enough to escape. Yet, deep down, (chapter 49). he desired to have a real title and admiration. (chapter 47)

But then something happened. He encountered Joo Jaekyung. And from that moment on, the fantasy of neutrality—the ability to remain on the fence—was destroyed. That’s why he approached Park Juho and questioned his actions afterwards. My avid readers will certainly recall my essay: Facing The Shotgun: Embracing Change The blond haired fighter embodies Change! Their fight which ended with a wound changed everything. Baek Junmin was defeated, scarred, exposed. And the shadows no longer provided cover.

That encounter became the turning point. While Joo Jaewoong gave up on boxing and rotted quietly, Baek Junmin doubled down on resentment and descent. If he couldn’t rise as a legitimate athlete, then he would find power elsewhere—on his own terms. (chapter 47) He wouldn’t become a better fighter; he would become a cheater. His new arena would be modeled after the streets: no rules, no weight classes, no referees. (chapter 47) His ring resembled the very fight that had marked his downfall—the alley, the knife, the shame. Yet here, surrounded by darkness and silence, he could finally rewrite the story. The violence felt earned now. People even died in these fights. To him, this was proof that his victories were real. Hence he smirked. (chapter 47) He couldn’t see that he had merely traded structure for spectacle, skill for savagery. He had confused bloodshed with honor. He was not an athlete, simply a thug.

He remained trapped in the same province, unable to leave (chapter 47)—but now he carried his own name. Baek Junmin! He is no longer Junmin, a teenager who tried to stay in the gray zone! But when he was televised, when the mobsters decided to polish his image and set him against the Emperor, he was reborn: The Shotgun. The stage name marks a shift—not just in visibility, but in function. He was no longer hiding. He could be seen, and therefore used. But by using his real name, he never realized that he could now be prosecuted. (chapter 47) He started dirtying his hands for the high-rollers.

From Junmin to Baek Junmin to The Shotgun—his very name charts a descent. He lost not only his identity, but his humanity. And perhaps most tragically, he never realized the extent of his manipulation. The high rollers never intended to hand him the champion belt. Their goal had been a tie (chapter 51) all along—a spectacle, not a coronation. Hence director Choi was overjoyed when he heard the verdict.(chapter 52) That’s why he earned a lot of money. They used this fight to remove the Emperor from the stage quietly. It was time for him to give up on his throne. If they had let Baek Junmin win the fight, people would have questioned the referees. The Shotgun was there to prepare the coup d’Etat, hence the new champion is someone else. Joo Jaekyung wouldn’t remain so calm hearing this: (chapter 69) They knew the Shotgun wasn’t strong enough. But he didn’t. He mistook cheating for skill. He mistook chaos for greatness. He believed he had earned what was scripted all along.

The Shotgun, the Ghost, and the Father—each longed to be seen. Each was eclipsed by Joo Jaekyung. And all three tried, in their own way, to mark or damage him. They resented him for his “talent, dream and happiness”. But the irony is bitter: none of them succeeded in shaping the Emperor. They only reflected what he overcame.

Hence he became the legend (chapter 47) in the illegal fighting ring, located in Gangwon

This very trait—keeping a low profile— was what initially distinguished him from Joo Jaewoong. The latter imagined that through admiration and recognition, he would get rich. That way, he would leave the place. (chapter 73) However, the opposite happened. Why? Through boxing, he came in touch with the criminal world. Striking is that in the beginning, Joo Jaewoong did the exact opposite to the Shotgun. He became famous because of his self-destructive behavior: (chapter 72) This explicates why Hwang Byungchul condemned the man and sided with the mother. But while Joo Jaewoong and Baek Junmin tried to escape through the sport, they both ended up in the criminal network. And neither made it out.

What unites all three—ghost, boxer, and Shotgun—is their resent towards the main lead. None of them intended to grow old in the same town, under the same weight of poverty, violence, and anonymity. Yet none succeeded. Baek Junmin never made it past the provincial legend status, until he was called to Seoul and brought to MFC. He may have become infamous, but he was never international. Hence the last match took place in Thailand… they were hoping that the new champion would get famous internationally. In the end, their stories are fragments of the same fate: young men crushed by the very world they hoped to transcend.

Conclusion to Part 1: The Puzzle

If Baek Junmin’s character feels complex, it is because he is built like a puzzle—fragmented, hidden, and deeply contradictory. Some pieces lie in the past; others only emerge in his present incarnation. We found signs in his tattoos, in the black hoodie, in the garbage-strewn street, and even in his silence. Each glimpse offered a new facet, and every comparison with Joo Jaekyung and Joo JAewoong cast another shadow into view.

But in the end, the puzzle you’ve read was not just Mingwa’s doing. It was also mine. This is only one way of assembling the fragments.

In the second part, I will try to bring the pieces closer together—to lay out what I believe truly happened between Baek Junmin and the Emperor, and how the Shotgun was born not in glory, but in humiliation.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or Manhwa, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Twitter-Tumblr account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Jinx: Lavender-Tinted 🪻Pillow Talk 🛏️ – Part 2

Revisiting the Symbolism of Intimacy

In the first part of Lavender-Tinted Pillow Talk, the focus was on Kim Dan’s subconscious struggle with intimacy, as reflected in his body language, verbal hesitations, and use of physical barriers such as the pillow. It explored how his journey toward rejecting touch and emotional closeness paralleled his growing bond with Joo Jaekyung. He fears attachment out of pain. (Chapter 63) The presence—or absence—of clothing during their encounters symbolized the gradual dismantling of their emotional walls. Now, shifting the perspective to the champion, another layer of complexity emerges. Joo Jaekyung’s evolving approach to intimacy is not just a reflection of his growing feelings but also a silent, deeply ingrained struggle with dependence and control.

His behavior in Episode 63, particularly his decision to remain in his black boxer briefs while on the bed, invites a closer look. Given the kaleidoscopic storytelling of Jinx, where patterns and motifs repeat with shifting meanings, this small yet significant detail connects to previous moments of exposure and concealment. What does Jaekyung’s retention of his underwear reveal? (chapter 63) Why does he hesitate to strip entirely, even as he succumbs to desire? Notice that he released his erected phallus before removing his cloth. (chapter 63) To answer this, a comparative analysis of earlier sex scenes is necessary, unraveling the hidden dialogue between physical exposure and emotional vulnerability.

The Hidden Shame: Dependency Veiled in Fabric

A key parallel can be drawn to an early scene featuring Kim Dan’s embarrassment in the bathroom when confronted by the wolf. (chapter 30) The doctor instinctively tried to cover his gray boxer shorts with his t-shirt, prompting the champion to question his reaction:  (chapter 30) In Episode 63, this dynamic appears subtly reversed. (chapter 63) The champion, despite holding the dominant role, is now the one retaining a piece of clothing. This suggests an unconscious act of concealment—not of shame in the traditional sense, but of a growing dependency on Kim Dan.

In addition, the star’s arousal in Episode 62 was heavily emphasized by the author, (chapter 62) with a zoom-in shot on his erection still hidden by gray sweatpants. Striking is that on the one hand he let the doctor feel his reaction to his naked body, when he embraced the doctor: (chapter 62) The “hamster” could sense with his leg the excitement. On the other hand, these pants were only removed once he entered the bedroom and was on the bed (chapter 63), reinforcing the idea that vulnerability, for him, is confined to this private space. Moreover, the choice of attire in Episode 62 (chapter 62) —ridiculous floral-patterned pants—serves as an indirect reference to shame (in a good way), an unfamiliar emotion for the undefeated fighter. This pattern culminates in Episode 63, where Jaekyung’s thoughts confirm his internal battle:  (chapter 63) Only at this point does he fully expose himself. Yet, observe that during the intercourse, he is not looking at his companion. (chapter 63) Thus I deduce that exactly like the presence of the black underwear, the athlete’s low self-esteem hasn’t been removed completely. He still expects fear and rejection.

A Mirror to Episode 12: The Champion’s “Lucky Night”

Joo Jaekyung has always been a man of control. In the ring, in his career, and especially in his personal relationships, he has dictated the terms, ensuring that he is never in a position of vulnerability. Throughout Jinx, his approach to intimacy has been no different—he takes without giving (chapter 63), dominates without seeking connection (chapter 55), and ensures that every encounter follows his carefully constructed narrative. However, in Episode 63, a subtle but undeniable shift occurs. For the first time, Jaekyung’s actions reflect something deeper than mere desire or dominance. They reveal his growing emotional investment in Kim Dan, exposing a side of him that even he does not fully comprehend. (chapter 63)

This transformation becomes even more evident when comparing Episode 63 to the infamous “lucky day” scene from Episode 12. (chapter 12) In the earlier encounter, Jaekyung presented himself as a generous partner, offering Kim Dan a so-called privilege—an opportunity to enter a whole new world, thanks to him. However, his so-called generosity was nothing more than a facade, a way to conceal his inexperience in genuine intimacy. The tool he used was not just an object of pleasure but a mask for his own shortcomings as a lover. He did not know how to pleasure Kim Dan, nor did he care to learn. His focus was not on Kim Dan’s enjoyment but on reinforcing his own power and dominance.

In stark contrast, Episode 63 presents a very different Joo Jaekyung. (chapter 63) Here, he no longer portrays himself as the benevolent provider of an experience. (chapter 63) Instead, he openly admits his inexperience in giving pleasure, stating that he has never been on the giving end before. This moment of self-awareness is crucial because it marks a departure from his earlier arrogance and lack of honesty. No longer does he assume that his presence alone is a gift—he is beginning to recognize that intimacy is a two-way street. Moreover, unlike in Episode 12, where his so-called generosity was partially performative (chapter 12) – seeking both to display dominance and to elicit validation (chapter 12) —this time, in Episode 63, he prioritizes Kim Dan’s pleasure without explicitly expecting anything in return. (chapter 63) However, there remains an unspoken desire for recognition, as he unconsciously longs for Kim Dan to acknowledge his efforts in a way that he was once too proud to admit. I believe that this night is there to make him discover the power of giving.

Additionally, the impact of rejection in this scene cannot be ignored. (chapter 63) Up until this point, Jaekyung has never truly faced rejection. (chapter 63) His wealth, power, and physical prowess have ensured that people comply with his desires. However, in Episode 63, Kim Dan does not simply comply—he resists on an emotional level. While he consents to sex, he actively rejects any deeper connection. He avoids eye contact, creates physical distance, and refuses to acknowledge Jaekyung beyond the act itself. This rejection unsettles Jaekyung because, for the first time, his usual methods of control no longer work. He cannot use money to bridge the emotional gap, nor can he rely on his dominance to make Kim Dan want him. (chapter 63) This moment forces him to confront an uncomfortable truth: power and status cannot buy emotional intimacy.

What makes this shift even more significant is how Jaekyung reacts to Kim Dan’s rejection. In the past, his response to resistance was often intimidation (chapter 03) or passive-aggressive remarks. (chapter 6) However, in this moment, he does not react with anger or coercion. (chapter 63) While he does voice his frustration, he does so without force, showing an unprecedented level of emotional regulation. Instead of demanding compliance, he chooses a different approach—he focuses on Kim Dan’s pleasure, attempting to bridge the emotional gap through physical intimacy (chapter 63) rather than control. This decision is not merely about sex; it is an unconscious attempt to regain Kim Dan’s attention, to re-establish a connection that he does not yet fully understand but deeply craves.

Furthermore, his desire to see Kim Dan’s face highlights another key development. In earlier episodes, Jaekyung reduced their relationship to mere physical pleasure, going so far as to state that (chapter 29) This remark exemplified his detachment, his refusal to acknowledge Kim Dan as a person rather than just a body. Once again, the intercourse was linked to achievement and work. However, in Episode 63, he actively seeks Kim Dan’s gaze, subtly pleading for recognition. (chapter 63) This reversal is crucial because it indicates that he no longer sees Kim Dan as just a means to an end. However, his desire for recognition still lingers beneath the surface—just as he once sought validation through dominance, he now seeks it through Kim Dan’s acknowledgment. He wants something more, though he cannot yet articulate what that is, and his actions reflect a subconscious craving for emotional reassurance.

And since Episode 63 is mirroring Chapter 12 and the champion declared back then that it was Kim Dan’s lucky day, I come to the following deduction that in episode 63, it was the champion’s lucky night. He felt comfortable despite the doctor’s coldness. At the same time, it implies that Kim Dan’s lucky Day is about to come!! My avid readers should keep in mind that in the penthouse, the athlete was actually lying, (chapter 12) because this intimacy was taking place under the moon. However, notice that the next day, the doctor’s dream came true: he could rest, eat a warm home-made meal from the champion. (chapter 13)

The Wolf’s Shifting Approach to Intimacy: A Chronological Exploration

From the outset, the celebrity’s insistence on keeping his clothing on during intimate moments reveals a deep-seated struggle with emotional exposure. In Episode 2, (chapter 62) the sportsman welcomes the physical therapist in blue pajamas and a robe—an overt attempt to maintain distance and control. Even as the encounter begins, he leaves his pajamas on (chapter 3), removing them only (chapter 3) – this image marks the change) when the doctor’s back is turned. Then in Episode 8, during the shower, he continues wearing shorts and underwear (chapter 8), and his choice of the doggy style further reinforces his desire to avoid direct, face-to-face vulnerability.

Like mentioned above, in Episode 12, Jaekyung was not entirely naked. First, he was wearing his black briefs, (chapter 12) before removing it and adding the pink sex toy. (chapter 12) His erection was deliberately obscured by a sex toy, while Kim Dan, despite being partially undressed, was still concealing his injuries with a black pullover and a swollen eye. The layers of fabric and obstruction in this earlier scene signified emotional and physical distance. (chapter 12) Their bodies might have been close, but their minds remained divided. That’s why he couldn’t detect the huge bruises on his companion’s body. (chapter 12) This guarded approach is further underlined in Episode 20 (chapter 20), where even in the midst of nakedness, the athlete deliberately positions the doctor in the dog stance. At the same time, he uses another MO: the darkness of the room to hide himself. This calculated arrangement maintains an emotional buffer, allowing him to remain physically exposed yet emotionally detached—a recurring theme in his behavior.

A notable turning point occurs in Episode 29. Here, the champion initiates sex on the couch (chapter 29) while still cloaked in his familiar blue robe and pajamas. Interesting is that the room is not totally dark like in episode 20, the bedroom is illuminated by the huge TV screen. Importantly, this episode marks the first time they face each other in the bedroom, signaling a significant shift in their dynamic and announcing a switch in position. This newfound mutual visibility lays the groundwork for later developments.

Episode 33 deepens the narrative further. In this instance, the sportsman parks his car next to a light (chapter 33) —a deliberate act imbued with symbolism. Unlike earlier encounters, the champion remains fully clothed throughout this episode, (chapter 33) contrasting sharply with previous moments of exposure. The car scene, where they are now facing each other, reinforces the announced switch in intimacy; the light not only illuminates the scene but also serves as a metaphorical spotlight on his desire to see the doctor’s face and body (chapter 33) —a silent assertion that only he can truly satisfy the physical therapist. Let’s not forget that before having sex together, the fighter resorted to a dildo (chapter 33) rather direct physical intimacy, because he felt insecure after witnessing the actor’s advances toward Kim Dan. His goal? To reaffirm his dominance and make Kim Dan admit that he needed him for pleasure. It is important because it exposes that deep down, the champion views himself as a bad lover. There is no doubt that Heesung‘s criticism resonated with him. (chapter 33)

In Episode 39, another instance of calculated concealment unfolds. (chapter 39) While receiving fellatio, the champion keeps his t-shirt on, only removing it later when he invites the doctor into bed. (chapter 39) Maintaining the doggy style during this phase, he uses such intimate acts to mask his true longing and attraction—an effort to control the encounter while keeping his emotions under wraps. Then I noticed that they switched positions, when doc Dan asked for a break. (chapter 39) The wolf chose to lie down on the bed: (chapter 39) As you can see, through the different intercourses, we can see the different methods the star used to conceal himself, to hide his “weakness”, his growing feelings for the doctor.

A poignant recollection surfaces in Episode 61. (chapter 61) The physical therapist remembers an encounter bathed in bright light, where they stood before a couch: the doctor had removed his pants while the champion remained fully clothed, positioned behind him. (chapter 61) After both reached climax, the sportsman swiftly departed—a stark demonstration of his habitual retreat into distance and fear, even as he ensures the doctor’s pleasure. (chapter 61) This calculated “running away” underscores the return of old insecurities and the persistent need to assert control. Since the doctor was still living in the penthouse and as such was still working as the star’s physical therapist, it becomes comprehensible why the athlete could only resort to strength to keep his fated companion by his side. He had rejected his “gratitude” and “emotions” before.

Finally, in Episode 63, the dynamic evolves once more. (chapter 63) Now lying on the bed facing each other, the pair’s physical closeness appears more genuine. Yet, even in this seemingly intimate configuration, they avoid locking eyes during penetration. This subtle divergence speaks volumes: despite their newfound positioning, the champion’s reluctance to engage in mutual gaze highlights an enduring emotional barrier—a lingering fear of fully exposing his inner self. Simultaneously, pay attention that (chapter 63) the champion’s torso is not resting on his partner’s body, revealing the existence of the remaining huge gap between them. Finally, the star views this sex session as an action, and not as a moment of peace. Finally, though Kim Dan is now completely bare, yet he shielded himself with a pillow before, maintaining a psychological barrier. Meanwhile, Jaekyung retains his black briefs until the final moment, symbolizing an invisible boundary he has yet to overcome—his reluctance to fully embrace Kim Dan, not just physically but emotionally. This evolving pattern of clothed versus unclothed intimacy highlights how their relationship is progressing beyond a mere transaction into something neither of them fully understands yet.

Taken together, these episodes chart a complex evolution in the champion’s approach to intimacy. His behavior oscillates between acts of control—whether through maintaining a layer of clothing or strategically using light—and moments that hint at a deep-seated desire for connection. Each carefully choreographed encounter, from the early defensive postures in Episodes 2 and 20 to the conflicted displays in Episodes 29, 33, 39, 61, and 63, reveals an ongoing inner conflict: a yearning for closeness intertwined with a persistent fear of vulnerability.

The Meaning of the Black Underwear: Distance and Disguise

The black underwear Jaekyung clings to is not just a remnant of concealment—it is also a recurring symbol of his emotional armor. A significant clue can be found in the way he wakes up after sleeping with Kim Dan. In Episode 4 (chapter 4), we do not see whether he is wearing anything the morning after. After their “magic night” in the United States (Episode 39), the next morning, he is only shown taking a shower (chapter 40) —meaning the audience never sees him leaving the bed. However, in Episode 45, the author deliberately includes a shot of Jaekyung leaving the bed while still wearing his black boxer briefs. (chapter 45)

His reaction in this scene is telling. He expresses regret:  (chapter 45). This is just a rhetorical question, as he clearly remembers the night. (chapter 45) In reality, he was wondering why he had acted this way. This contradiction—pretending to forget while consciously recalling their time together—reflects his internal denial. His next thought,  (chapter 45) is a transparent excuse to avoid confronting his emotions. The presence of the black underwear in this scene confirms that he had not fully lowered his guard; he still maintained a psychological barrier between himself and Kim Dan.

Shame, Expectations, and the Invisible Chains of Control

Joo Jaekyung has built his entire existence on the foundation of invulnerability—physical, emotional, and psychological. The champion’s ability to endure, to dominate, and to suppress any sign of weakness is not merely a personality trait but a deeply ingrained survival mechanism. Unlike Kim Dan, who was shaped by guilt and self-sacrifice (chapter 53), Jaekyung was conditioned through shame and rigid expectations. His worth was not inherent but conditional, entirely dependent on his performance. (chapter 54) If he was not good enough, if he did not win, he was nothing.

This belief system did not emerge in a vacuum. (chapter 54) The specter that haunts him—an unnamed figure whose words still echo in his nightmares—was the architect of his relentless pursuit of strength. Striking is that in his nightmare, he is facing the mysterious ghost, a sign that he saw hatred and rejection in his counterpart’s eyes. While Kim Dan’s halmoni took his hand and provided warmth (chapter 22), Jaekyung’s guardian likely did the opposite. (chapter 54) The presence of the champion’s hand in his nightmare while recalling the parent’s words is telling. The contrast implies that in his youth, there was no comforting touch, no guiding hold—only harsh words and the looming specter of failure. He was left to fend for himself, to prove his worth in a world where physical prowess was the only currency. I came to this interpretation for two other reasons. First, in the doctor’s memory, we see Shin Okja holding her grandchild’s hand, while she is going to work (chapter 5) This represented a source of support for the elderly woman. Secondly, during the intercourse in the lavender-tinted bedroom, neither the champion nor the doctor are trying to take each other’s hand: (chapter 63) In the beginning, the champion grabbed doc Dan’s wrist. This shows that the athlete was not used to touch Kim Dan’s hand. And notice how the “hamster” reacted (chapter 63), when he felt his lover’s hand approaching his own: (chapter 63) He pushed it away. This means that taking the doctor’s hand represents the biggest challenge for Joo Jaekyung right now. In addition, the last panel indicates the champion’s transformation, he is now willing to seek the doctor’s closeness. It also implies the vanishing influence from his past guardian.

The guardian’s influence was likely tied to the world of sports or medicine, a figure who saw Jaekyung not as a child to be nurtured, but as a body to be molded, a tool to be sharpened. His physique was shaped to meet the guardian’s standards, his every action dictated by an unrelenting expectation of excellence. (chapter 54) There was no room for imperfection, no tolerance for hesitation. Thus I deduce that the champion’s choice of career could have been decided by the guardian, similar to the grandmother’s attitude with Kim Dan. Remember that he loves water and swimming. (chapter 27) Under this new light, it could explain why the fighter forgot his passion. They made sure that he would train restlessly. In this environment, vulnerability was a defect to be eradicated, not a human trait to be acknowledged. This description reminded me think of Park Namwook and his family. The manager is a former national wrestler who is married to an athlete too.

The manager’s dream of opening the gym to children may appear as a strategic business decision (that’s where the money is), but it also raises an ethical concern. Will these children truly be nurtured, or will they be trained with the same rigid expectations that shaped Jaekyung? Parents who have achieved a level of success in sports—or, conversely, those who failed to reach their own aspirations—often project their dreams onto their children. This creates an environment where a child’s worth is tied not to their happiness or well-being but to their ability to perform and meet external standards.

This concept aligns with Jaekyung’s upbringing and could suggest that his guardian was someone deeply involved in the athletic world, someone who saw him not as a child but as a future champion, an extension of their own ambitions. The emphasis on performance, endurance, and strength suggests that Jaekyung was never given the option to define his own path—he was molded into what was expected of him.

This perspective also adds another dimension to the conflict with Park Namwook. If Jaekyung’s guardian resembled the manager in some way—someone deeply embedded in the sports industry and medical world, someone who placed performance above emotional well-being—it would explain why Jaekyung instinctively resists authority figures like him. (chapter 5) At the same time, it would highlight the potential danger of Park Namwook’s vision for the gym: an institution that might perpetuate the same cycle of control, shame, and expectation rather than fostering true passion and individuality in young athletes. That’s how I realized why the manager slapped his “boy” after the funny sparring: (chapter 26) He explained that the main lead was just a doctor. However, I am quite certain, underneath, the manager thought that doc Dan was not fit to spare: so small and weak. He doesn’t fit the criteria to become a sparring partner. Look at his reaction, when Seonho faced the champion: (chapter 46) Under this new light, it becomes comprehensible why Potato was also neglected by the manager. The young maknae belongs to a different weight category. There is this invisible rule that only strong people can become member from the gym. However, the purpose of such an institution shouldn’t be reduced to titles, strong and muscular men or boys. The gym should be opened to anyone who desires to have fun and improve their health.

This rigid conditioning is reflected in Jaekyung’s relationship with his own body and sexuality. He was formed into this model. I don’t think, the champion was able to perceive his own beauty in the past, (chapter 1), until he received the doctor’s massage in chapter 1. His attitude toward sex mirrors his training in the gym—focused on endurance, performance, and control. His body is a tool, a machine honed for efficiency. (chapter 63) Pleasure is secondary; the real goal is lasting, enduring, proving his stamina. Even in his most intimate moments, he is competing against an invisible opponent—his own ingrained fear of inadequacy.

And yet, despite this carefully maintained control, the cracks are beginning to show. In Episode 63, Jaekyung’s actions reveal a subconscious desire for validation, (chapter 63) for something beyond mere physicality. He wants Kim Dan to see him, to acknowledge him beyond his strength. But the conflict remains—his very conditioning tells him that intimacy is a weakness, that emotional attachment is a liability. This is why he hesitates by keeping his black briefs (chapter 63), why he keeps barriers between himself and Kim Dan, even when his body betrays his true desires.

The contrast between Jaekyung and Kim Dan is striking. The doctor grew up with an abundance of emotional connection but was shackled by guilt, while Jaekyung had all the resources necessary for success but was starved of love. Both were conditioned by their pasts, but where Kim Dan was shaped by an overbearing sense of duty, Jaekyung was forged in an environment that equated worth with winning. Hence he is still thinking of his title: (chapter 62)

In the end, Jaekyung’s rejection of vulnerability is not a sign of strength but a deeply ingrained fear. The unseen guardian may no longer be present, but their influence lingers in every step he takes, in every fight he wins, in every moment he suppresses his true emotions. He is still proving himself—to a ghost, to a voice that once told him he was never good enough.

Conclusion: The Last Invisible Barrier

Jaekyung’s struggle with exposure, mirrored through his gradual abandonment of clothing, speaks to the deeper conflict he faces. In the early days of their relationship, (chapter 4) nudity was a tool of dominance, a means of asserting control. Now, it has become a sign of submission—not in the physical sense, but in the way he is slowly relinquishing the emotional armor he has always relied upon. (chapter 44) His decision to keep his underwear on for as long as possible in Episode 63 is not a sign of detachment (chapter 63), but of his silent battle against the vulnerability he is beginning to feel.

The presence of fabric in their most intimate moments is not incidental; it is a subconscious language of distance and closeness. With each layer removed, Jaekyung is forced to confront an uncomfortable truth: for the first time, his body does not just crave release—it craves Kim Dan himself. Under this new light, it becomes comprehensible why the champion rejected this wonderful night in the penthouse: (chapter 44) He had violated all his rules: rather passive and submissive, light was on, while he was totally naked. Then he was facing the doctor. He could only justify his odd attitude with the alcohol.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or Manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Tumblr-Twitter account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Jinx: Fickle Jinx 🐈‍⬛, Faded Past

Introduction: The Evolution of the Jinx

Joo Jaekyung’s perception of his ‘jinx’ has undergone a significant transformation since the beginning of Jinx. Initially, he believed that his routine (chapter 2) —having sex the night before a match—was a necessary ritual to maintain his champion title. However, by Episode 62, his view of the jinx had subtly shifted. (chapter 62) He now includes his entire routine with Kim Dan—not just sex, but also his physical therapy and treatment—as part of this so-called jinx. This shift is crucial because it implies an unconscious recognition of Kim Dan’s significance in his life. What once was purely about his career and success has now expanded to include a specific person and their role in his well-being.

Kim Dan, however, misinterprets Jaekyung’s words. First, the athlete employed the expression “usual pre-match routine” which is quite ambiguous. What was he referring to “usual pre-match routine”? The sex or the treatment he was receiving from Kim Dan: the tasty breakfasts, his company on his way to the gym (chapter 46), the stretching and massage at the gym? The problem is that the champion never complimented the “hamster” for his good work directly. So it was, as if his dedication was nonexistent. Without the champion’s genuine gratitude and appreciation expressed so openly, the physical therapist couldn’t perceive the true message behind the champion’s. Joo Jaekyung’s statement was actually an acknowledgment—a sign that the fighter values their routine, not just for performance but as an integral part of his life. So when the star mentioned his jinx (chapter 62), the doctor’s memory got triggered. Because of his past experiences, he has long associated the jinx exclusively with sex. This contrast in understanding highlights both Jaekyung’s lack of self-awareness and Kim Dan’s tendency to filter reality through his own expectations and trauma. However, the deeper significance lies in Jaekyung’s evolving perception of dependency. His jinx is no longer just a superstition tied to his performance in bed. It now subtly acknowledges that his success has been intertwined with Kim Dan’s intervention. (chapter 62). At the same time, his skills in the ring become more relevant. This explicates why the champion talked about it on the treatment table. The location is not anodyne. This implies that the champion’s torment is moving away from the bed and bedroom. This is not the first time the celebrity has recognized Kim Dan’s good work (chapter 61) By entrusting his care to Kim Dan, he was insinuating that the main lead was trustworthy and competent, yet his inability to verbally express appreciation keeps the doctor unaware of his true feelings. This struggle resurfaced in front of the hospice, where Jaekyung could only bring himself to admit that Kim Dan was not responsible for the incident with the switched spray. (chapter 62) His reluctance to openly acknowledge his gratitude suggests a deeper internal conflict—one that hints at a growing but unspoken emotional reliance on Kim Dan. 

Another cause for this inner struggle stems from his difficulty to separate his professional and personal life. While he continues to frame his reliance on Kim Dan as part of his career routine (chapter 62), his subconscious attachment tells a different story. The jinx, once strictly confined to his fights, has now extended beyond the ring, blurring the lines between necessity and emotional dependency. His hesitation to verbalize his appreciation reveals a man grappling with an unfamiliar vulnerability—one that he may not yet be ready to confront. 

The champion’s past: fixed foundation or distorted memory?

As you know, articles from Dr. Jennifer Delgado often assist me to grasp better the couple’s personality and issues. Funny is that her articles often coincide with the progression of Jinx. In her recent article, You Are Not Your Experiences, the author explains how people often mistakenly identify themselves with their past experiences, believing that their traumas, failures, or successes define who they are. She argues that while past experiences shape our perspectives, they do not have to dictate our future choices.

This means that people need to break free from their past. However, in order to achieve this goal, they have to recognize past experiences as a reference rather than a destiny—something to learn from, but not something that confines personal growth.

Emotional Traps: Fear and Avoidance

One of the most common ways people become trapped by their past is through fear-driven decision-making. Those who have faced failures, disappointments, or trauma may avoid opportunities for change out of fear of repeating past mistakes. This avoidance does not create true freedom but rather reinforces a cycle of limitation.

Conversely, others may become so deeply attached to their past choices that they justify and cling to them, believing that changing direction would undermine their previous efforts. This mindset prevents self-reflection and the possibility of meaningful transformation.

The Power of Choice

True autonomy comes from self-awareness and intentional decision-making. Instead of reacting based on past fears or past justifications, individuals can reclaim control over their future by making choices that align with their present values and aspirations. The ability to consciously choose a path forward, rather than following patterns dictated by past experiences, is what ultimately leads to growth, fulfillment, and personal freedom. I am quite certain that my avid readers could recognize the main characters in these descriptions. It becomes obvious that Joo Jaekyung belongs to the second category. His perspective on time is one of continuity and justification. He sees the past as an unchangeable foundation (chapter 62) that naturally determines the future, a mindset that enables him to move forward without regret. Hence he is sure that he will regain his title and can separate ways with Kim Dan. (chapter 62) It was, as if he was warding off bad luck by repeating the last match. For him, past choices are justified by their results—he has built a successful career through sheer discipline and sees no reason to question his trajectory. His mentality reflects the belief that one’s past is a stable structure upon which the present and future rest. This perception explains his resistance to self-reflection and emotional vulnerability; admitting a mistake would mean disrupting the stability he relies upon.

His refusal to listen to emotional advice, especially concerning Kim Dan’s well-being, can be traced back to his survival-driven upbringing (chapter 54), where emotions were likely dismissed as obstacles. Instead, he follows only what aligns with his success: the advice of figures like Park Namwook and Yosep, who reinforce his pre-existing beliefs about strength, control, and endurance. Hence he was pushed to fight despite his ankle injury. (chapter 50)

However, as recent events unfold, his foundation is beginning to show cracks—particularly with Kim Dan’s absence, forcing him into a state of emotional confrontation that he has never encountered before. His departure made him feel not only lonely, but also cold and stressed. And because his past determines his future, it signifies that Joo Jaekyung is caught in a cycle where his past successes and struggles dictate his present mindset. (chapter 61) This rigid perception prevents him from questioning his past choices or embracing change, reinforcing the illusion that repeating past patterns will restore stability. However, as his reliance on Kim Dan grows, the boundaries between his personal and professional life blur, challenging his belief that he can control his future by clinging to his past.  (chapter 61)

But what happens when the past is not remembered correctly? When Jaekyung convinces himself that everything was fine before his tie with Baek Junmin (chapter 62), he is unknowingly rewriting his own history. This distortion is further reinforced by external voices —MFC (chapter 57) and Park Namwook (chapter 54), who claim that Jaekyung ‘lost’ the fight, when in reality, it was a tie. The very way people around him are framing the event warps his perception, creating a false narrative where his struggles seem to stem solely from this supposed ‘loss.’ His belief in a stable past provides him with a sense of security, but that illusion is fragile. In addition, if his struggles predated his championship loss (chapter 29), then reclaiming his title cannot be the solution he believes it to be. Finally, what happens when he is forced to confront the reality that some of his past choices were mistakes – ones that he can no longer attribute to the jinx or external circumstances, (chapter 13) because they affected the doctor’s life? (chapter 41) In one case, he refused to listen to his friend’s advice, whereas he trusted the words from MFC, MFC doctors and his hyung. When the foundation he has relied upon begins to crack, Jaekyung’s entire mindset is shaken, forcing him to question whether his past truly holds the answers he seeks. We could say, the athlete needs to be betrayed by his own past in order to throw his old belief. The latter is strongly intertwined with the organization MFC and authorities in general. Questioning his past equals challenging the company MFC and his past “guardians”: the terrifying ghost and even his two hyungs.

As my avid Jinx-philes can sense, the champion is actually going through a similar path than his lover. Joo Jaekyung has a distorted perception of his past. In Episode 61 (chapter 61), he expresses the belief that reclaiming his championship title will rid him of his headaches, nightmares, and sleepless nights. However, the reality is different—he was already suffering from insomnia long before he lost his title. (chapter 29) The origins of his struggles existed before his recent failures, suggesting that his belief in a simple solution—reclaiming his title—is an illusion. This disconnect reveals how deeply his professional and personal life are entangled; his need for control in the ring has masked his deeper emotional vulnerabilities. He isn’t merely striving for victory—he is chasing the illusion of stability, believing that his success is the sole factor that determines his well-being. (chapter 54) But as his nightmares and frustration intensified, it becomes clear that his problem is not the loss of his title, but the erosion of the identity he has built upon it. This means that the longer he stays away from the gym, the more the fighter is learning about himself. He is more than just a MMA champion. To conclude, he is on his way to redefine himself, to discover his humanity.

  • The very fact that he associates (chapter 61) the headache and nightmares only with his loss suggests that he has rewritten his own history, convincing himself that he was completely fine before his tie with The Shotgun.
  • This distortion reflects his habit of suppressing personal struggles—a conditioned mindset that prioritizes his image and career over his mental and emotional well-being.
  • His unconscious rewriting of events serves a psychological function: blaming the championship loss allows him to avoid deeper introspection. Under this new light, you comprehend why he is not investigating the matter with the switched spray and the rigged game.

This pattern extends to his changing interpretation of the jinx. Originally, his pre-match ritual was about control. It was a way to ensure consistency and maintain a sense of power over his performance. However, by integrating Kim Dan into this ritual, he unknowingly shifts its meaning—it is no longer solely about control, but also about dependence. But there is more to it. The moment you contrast this recollection and belief (chapter 61) with the champion’s rejection in the bedroom with this excuse (chapter 29), you will realize that alone in his penthouse, Joo Jaekyung was actually admitting the importance of sleep and rest. His earlier belief in relentless training as the key to success now clashes with his realization that exhaustion is affecting him. This shift signifies an unconscious admission that his well-being is not just tied to physical endurance but also to recovery and relaxation—something he previously dismissed. This realization subtly parallels his growing dependence on Kim Dan, reinforcing the theme of blurring lines between his professional and personal life. And what had occurred after this magical blue night in the penthouse? (chapter 30) The athlete woke up later than usual. In fact, he was rather late, for he was still wearing his pajamas, while the doctor had already taken his shower. But back then, observe how he opened the door! Like a clumsy beast, grump leopard! Why? In the past, I explained that he was seeking the champion’s closeness, but didn’t know how to approach his partner. I am now adding another aspect. He was actually annoyed, because he had not been following his daily routine!! Under this new light, it becomes comprehensible why the champion had such a “angry” facial expression, while deep down he was happy. The older version of this scene: (chapter 44) However, this means that in episode 30, he never acknowledged his dependency on the physical therapist for his rest loudly. On the other hand, it explains why the champion felt threatened, when the actor approached his “lavender-tinted pillow” or “sleeping pill”. (chapter 31) In fact, he used guilt to create a link between him and his roommate. That’s the reason why I am more than ever convinced that the champion will sleep better after this lavender-tinted night. (chapter 63) But contrary to the past, the athlete should come to recognize his lover’s great sleeping power officially. This made me laugh, imagining Kim Dan’s reaction, when the latter sees that his wish (chapter 62) won’t come true at all. 😉 He will stay longer and ask for Kim Dan’s presence during the night.

Kim Dan: The Past as a Lesson to Escape

Dr. Jennifer Delgado’s assertion that the past should be a reference, not a destiny directly applies to Kim Dan. Although the physical therapist believes he is actively shaping his future by rejecting his past, in reality, his decisions are still dictated by fear—fear of repeating past mistakes, fear of attachment, and ultimately, fear of abandonment. He belongs to the first case described above. He regrets to have developed feelings for the champion, therefore he wants to relive their first night together. (chapter 62)

Fear and Avoidance Dictate His Choices

Rather than truly choosing his future, Kim Dan structures his life around avoiding his past. (chapter 56) His childhood and early adult experiences, marked by financial hardship, emotional neglect, abandonment, betrayal and powerlessness, have conditioned him to associate attachment with suffering. Because of this, he withdraws from relationships (chapter 56) and opportunities that could offer him security, convincing himself that he is protecting his independence when, in truth, he is reacting to past trauma rather than making an intentional choice.

This aligns with Delgado’s concept of emotional traps, where individuals believe they are exercising free will when they are actually making fear-based decisions that keep them stuck. Kim Dan’s reluctance to let Jaekyung back into his life is not just about his personal preferences—it is an extension of his attempt to escape a future that resembles his painful past. (chapter 46) (chapter 46)

The Illusion of Control: Running Instead of Choosing

Delgado emphasizes that true freedom comes from conscious decision-making, not reactionary avoidance. Kim Dan, however, has yet to reach this level of autonomy. By pushing people away, he believes he is exercising control over his life—but in reality, his choices are being made for him by his unresolved fears. He resembles a lot to the athlete in season 1. He is not moving toward something new; he is merely fleeing from what once hurt him. This means that he is imitating his grandmother as well. And now you comprehend why both liked each other immediately. Both could recognize in each other. But living like his halmoni has terrible consequences, for unhealed wounds of the mind fester beneath the surface, seeping into the body like cracks spreading through glass—until even the strongest foundation begins to break. (chapter 19) She became terribly sick, while the other had to get surged and risked his career. There is no doubt that the halmoni is hiding her pain as well. Kim Dan’s declining physical and emotional state further reflects the consequences of living in avoidance. (chapter 61) He is endangering his life. Instead of taking action to improve his well-being, he isolates himself, refusing help even when it is necessary. His reluctance to accept care—be it medical, emotional, or relational—mirrors the very trap Delgado describes: mistaking survival for true agency.

The Turning Point: Breaking Free from the Past

For Kim Dan to truly reclaim his future, he must stop defining himself by what he is running from and start choosing based on what he genuinely wants. Someone needs to remind him of these feelings: (chapter 62) If he continues making decisions based on past fears, he will remain trapped in the same cycle, unable to experience true growth or emotional fulfillment.

Delgado’s article suggests that the key to breaking free lies in self-awareness—Kim Dan must first recognize that his past does not define him before he can truly take control of his life. That’s the reason why I perceive the doctor’s suggestion in a positive light: (chapter 62) Here, he is actually facing his past which he has strongly connected to regret and remorse. Don’t forget that after this night, he is expecting Joo Jaekyung’s departure. (chapter 62) That way, he can move on. But what the “hamster” fails to recognize is that the Jinx was brought up in a different location. (chapter 62) Unlike in the past, this conversation takes place in the living room indicating transition from transactional interactions to genuine connection. Unlike the bedroom (chapter 3), which has been the setting of power imbalances, physical dominance, and silence, the living room represents a shared space—a place where dialogue and openness can exist. But why is the bedroom linked to silence? It is because of the TV, the third invisible companion! (chapter 48) Hence during that night, none of the protagonists talked sincerely to each other. And now pay attention to the living room at the hostel: (chapter 62) The TV is not switched on!! That’s how it dawned on me why Mingwa made Joo Jaekyung live alone for a while. (chapter 54) He needed to get rid of this poor habit: watching TV or cellphone. He had to realize that the TV or cellphones were never real companions and never brought him peace of mind! This was the invisible “love” triangle. Back then, the athlete deceived himself by thinking that he was truly self-reliant, while in verity he was dependent on his cellphone and the TV.

In Episode 62, (chapter 62) the shift to the living room for their conversation about the jinx is significant because it suggests that Jaekyung and Kim Dan’s relationship is evolving beyond purely physical interactions. The living room is typically associated with comfort, social interaction, and daily life, meaning that their dynamic is subtly moving towards something less confined, more integrated into reality. Jaekyung and Kim Dan are neither strangers nor true partners, and the living room reflects this in-between state of their relationship.

For Jaekyung, this space signifies a growing familiarity and trust, as he now acknowledges Kim Dan’s presence in his routine beyond sex. For Kim Dan, however, it is still a space of unease—his perception of their relationship remains tied to his initial trauma, making it difficult for him to see the fighter’s shift in behavior.

Secondly, I would like Jinx-philes to compare Joo Jaekyung’s behavior on the treatment table between episode 62 and the previous scenes where patients received Kim Dan’s treatment:

ChapTER 1Chapter 27Chapter 34Chapter 37Chapter 43Chapter 61

Kim Dan doesn’t talk to his patients in general, unless he feels that it is necessary. In addition, all his comments were work-related. His silence is oozing indifference and neglect. This observation exposes his lack of professionalism. Thus no patient is chatting with him and thanking him for his good treatment. On the other hand, thanks to Joo Jaekyung, the “hamster” is also learning not to get too attached to his “patients” as well. A natural distance is still required. Under this new light, it becomes comprehensible why Kim Dan doesn’t feel his job as physical therapist not rewarding and why he felt differently in the past. (chapter 62) Right now, he is not receiving any compliment from his patients, for he is acting like a robot. However with the gym, it was different, for he felt recognized by members from Team Black. They would give him some positive feedback. (chapter 37) And all this started because Kim Dan had taken the initiative. (chapter 7) But now, it is no longer fulfilling for him, because his relationship with them didn’t go beyond their work.

So by relocating the champion’s new confession to the living room (chapter 62), Mingwa is announcing a change in their relationship. The living room acts as a threshold—a place between past and future, where the lines between professional and personal, dominance and dependence, jinx and reality begin to blur. (chapter 03) At the same time, I am also sensing that the treatment table could become the place where Kim Dan starts initiating conversations with his patients so that he can become an active listener and advisor.

To conclude, this confession marks a turning point not only for the champion, but also for the doctor. Both affect each other. Though Kim Dan didn’t grasp that Joo Jaekyung was emphasizing his role in his overall routine, I am quite certain that unconsciously, the “hamster” learned a lesson: the importance of listening and conversing with his patient. Let’s not forget that too focused on his own guilt due to his past trauma, he came to hurt one of his patients. (chapter 59) Striking is that here the doctor didn’t apologize to the elderly man, but only to the family. (chapter 59)

While Joo Jaekyung now sees Kim Dan’s care as part of what sustains him, even if he does not consciously acknowledge it as emotional attachment, the champion is not realizing that life is about to teach him a lesson. Past can not be a source of strength, but of torment, pushing him to throw over the board his belief about the past and jinx. (chapter 62) While he focused too much on his “loss”, he overlooked the importance of the incident with the switched spray on the doctor’s soul. Only through his conversation, he recalled his initial reaction (chapter 62) – which is quite understandable in my eyes. The ones who failed the couple were the two other hyungs from my perspective. The past affected the doctor so much that he views himself and his feelings as “trash” now, yet it is clear that neither Park Namwook nor the coach are suffering from guilt or remorse. The star’s follow-up statement, (chapter 62) further reinforces that Kim Dan has become an integral part of his preparation. Although Jaekyung does not yet frame this as emotional reliance, his words betray an unconscious attachment—one that Kim Dan himself does not recognize. Moreover, by including him in his jinx, the champion is only one step closer to include him in his “success”. Should the doctor be the target of malicious comments, the star will consider it as a personal assault or as his responsibility.

The Ghosts That Surface in Absence

A striking aspect of Jaekyung’s evolution is the way his subconscious reacted to Kim Dan’s absence. (chapter 54) The moment Kim Dan left, nightmares came to the surface The ghosts of his past—his insomnia, his unresolved emotions, his hidden fears—made its entrance revealing that the champion had a false perception of his own past. It was, as if he had erased his time before becoming the champion. This suggests that Kim Dan’s presence was acting as a stabilizing force, even if Jaekyung was unaware of it. He had become his “home”, which Joo Jaekyung forgot due to his intoxication. (chapter 43) Someone needs to remind the athlete of his own “statement”. Simultaneously, since the doctor never got curious about the fighter’s past and family, his presence could only be seen as a bandage covering a rotten body. In order to heal completely, he needs to expose his traumatic past and vulnerabilities.

This aligns with his distorted memory (chapter 61)—he tried to convince himself that everything would return to normal once he regained his title. However, reality proves otherwise:

  • The insomnia that he attributed to his championship loss existed in the past. Thus if the sportsman doesn’t change his life style, his sleeping problems should still be present after the recovery of his title.
  • The emptiness in his life remains, unaffected by his standing in the MMA world.
  • His frustration and irritability increased, indicating that his struggles were never truly about the title (chapter 56), but about something deeper. Here he felt the need to see his beloved “companion” again.
  • His instinctive blaming of Kim Dan at first is a defense mechanism—an attempt to deny that his life had already changed far more than he was willing to admit.

To conclude, as long as the champion doesn’t expose his past relationship with Baek Junmin and his childhood to Kim Dan, the athlete can not find inner peace and become his true self.

A New Kind of Jinx: The Unconscious Shift in Priorities

At the beginning of Jinx, Jaekyung’s only goal was to maintain his championship title. His ‘jinx’ was a superstition, a tool to reinforce his absolute focus on his career. However, by Episode 62, the nature of this jinx has evolved. (chapter 62)

  • It is no longer just about winning—it now includes a person.
  • By extending the jinx to include Kim Dan’s role in his routine, Jaekyung unconsciously acknowledges that his well-being is tied to someone outside himself. He was dropping his past conviction: self-reliance. This explicates why during the same episode, he was seen helping others in the village.
  • This suggests a new, hidden priority—a source of stability that extends beyond his career.

Whether Joo Jaekung realizes it or not, Kim Dan is now part of his happiness, even if the fighter has yet to define it that way. And if you contrast this to his previous definition of well-being, you will notice that it was defined by the absence of physical and mental pain. (chapter 61) We could summarize his statement with “peace of mind” which is a synonym for “happiness”. This confirms my previous interpretation that in the past, his abuse towards his own body was his way to express his emotional and mental suffering. (chapter 27) At the same time, this confession displays that his past was far from being perfect, the evidence of a distorted memory. After working so hard for the community, he came to receive a treatment from Kim Dan: (chapter 62) This means that he is now treasuring his own body. No wonder why he smiled. (chapter 62) That’s why I come to the following conclusion: The athlete must have felt happy in the living room, for he felt comfortable and safe. (chapter 62) But why did he show his back? One might say that he desired to hide his “satisfaction” and his “reliance” on his fated partner. Or he didn’t feel the need to watch the doctor’s facial reaction, when he would confide his new intentions and the transformation of his jinx. He didn’t expect the physical therapist to mock him for his absurd belief contrary to episode 2: (chapter 2) He trusted the doctor. Yet, in my opinion, there exists a bigger reason behind this change. It is related to his manager: The doctor is treating the star (chapter 62) where Park Namwook used to punish him physically. He is receiving his “sweet” and “reward”. Thus I interpret the sportsman’s admission in the living room as the moment where the manager is losing his influence over the champion. On the other hand, it is clear that the athlete has not realized it yet. Through the massage, the doctor is recognizing that the champion worked hard in his life.

The Convergence: A Future Defined by Choice, Not Circumstance

The irony in their opposing perceptions of time is that they both remain equally bound by their pasts—Jaekyung by his refusal to question it, and Kim Dan by his refusal to acknowledge its lingering control. However, the unfolding of their relationship is gradually pushing both toward transformation. Jaekyung, for the first time, is being forced to fight for something that is not guaranteed by his status, money or power, and Kim Dan is being forced to recognize that fear-based decisions are not true freedom.

Park Namwook exhibits a mindset similar to Jaekyung, where the past dictates his present and future actions. Unlike Jaekyung, however, he is entirely reliant on the champion’s success, living vicariously through him. He positions himself as a figure of authority, even claiming to be the gym owner (chapter 22) when he is not, using his seniority and past influence to assert dominance. His attitude is related to his past decision: from his perspective, he saved the athlete from turning into a criminal. (chapter 26) His dependence on Jaekyung’s achievements makes him resistant to any shift in the fighter’s trajectory (chapter 40), as it threatens his own stability. Rather than acknowledging change, he reacts negatively to it and shifts blame onto Jaekyung, avoiding responsibility for his own shortcomings.

Park Namwook’s reaction to Kim Dan’s presence highlights his discomfort with anything that disrupts his established control. He loves delegating tasks to others. He initially praised Kim Dan’s skills (chapter 43), but when confronted with a serious incident, he failed to take responsibility or make a decisive choice (chapter 50), allowing others to step in instead. Later, rather than addressing his inaction, (chapter 52) he deflected blame onto Jaekyung, holding him accountable for his own passivity and incompetence. Instead of facing the consequences of past mistakes, the coach and manager prefers to erase them entirely, bringing in a new physical therapist (chapter 53), as if the past never happened. By doing so, he reinforces Jaekyung’s belief in his so-called ‘jinx,’ manipulating the fighter’s perception of events and contributing to a distorted memory of reality. Meanwhile, the manager must face the reality that change is inevitable and that Jaekyung’s evolution does not mean his own irrelevance. However, his position must change.

Thus I am still expecting that the doctor will fall very sick. All of these men can not act, as if the past was like the future. They are not immortal. Kim Dan’s worsening condition would force the couple to reconsider their perceptions of time—Jaekyung in terms of regret, and Kim Dan in terms of embracing a future not defined by resignation and fear. I would even add that so far, the doctor has never confessed to the champion that he feels his life jinxed as well. (chapter 59)

The Fickle Nature of Jinx and the Power to Reclaim the Future

And now, you are wondering why I chose to focus on chapter 62 again, where I examined chapter 63 only one time. My reasoning is the following. In season 1, after his first night with Kim Dan, Joo Jaekyung made a terrific experience. (chapter 5) He felt so empowered that he won very quickly. (chapter 5) But this good vibe was attributed to the sex with Kim Dan and unfortunately linked to his match. The reality was that he had slept better and longer. So by recreating the past, Kim Dan places the athlete in front of a choice. What matters in his life? His title or his peace of mind? He is correcting the champion’s distorted memory. Kim Dan is the reason why he can rest properly and not the title. Don’t forget that he was suggesting to go separate ways during the massage. But if he sleeps better before gaining his title, he won’t feel the urge to return quickly to the ring. In the living room, he was still acting as the celebrity, but in the bed chamber he is now gradually pushed to leave his title out of the bedroom. Now, in the bedroom he becomes a man and can almost make a mistake as a lover. (chapter 63)

This analysis Fickle Jinx, Faded Past, encapsulates not only the essence of this transformation, but also outlines the existence of a crossroad. A jinx is something unpredictable, unstable—like Jaekyung’s belief in controlling his own path without interference. But just as a jinx can turn against its owner, his sense of certainty is now in flux. At the same time, relying on a certain person signifies taking a leap of faith. He is taking a new road. Meanwhile, Kim Dan’s faded past represents his attempt to erase what has shaped him, but fading does not mean disappearing—it lingers, influencing every step he takes. He can not erase the death of the poor puppy: (chapter 59) However, he needs to realize that his physical and mental recovery can only happen, if he truly wishes it. From my perspective, the doctor has to sense that he is not on his own, he has someone by his side who supports him emotionally and mentally.

Ultimately, both must reach a point where their decisions are no longer dictated by their pasts but by conscious choice. They need to recognize that freedom does not come from escaping the past or justifying it, but from choosing to move beyond it. However, this can only happen, when both meditate and become true to themselves. At the same time, both must become more curious about their partner and past life. Only then, they will be able to listen to each other and understand each other.

PS: I am still waiting for a confession outside, close to nature: in the woods and in front of the ocean.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or Manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Tumblr-Twitter account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Jinx: Bruised 🩸 by Choices, Bound By Sacrifice 😭

Exploring Kim Dan’s Psyche

In the complex narrative of Jinx, Kim Dan’s psyche is an intricate web woven from his upbringing, life experiences, and conditioned beliefs. Episode 61 serves as a focal point for understanding his internal struggles, particularly through the symbolic appearance of a bruise on his arm. (Chapter 61) However, this moment is not isolated—it reflects patterns in his personality that have appeared throughout the series. (Chapter 11) (chapter 18) This essay delves into the significance of Kim Dan’s physical and emotional bruises, examining how they symbolize his suffering, internal conflict and transformation. I will examine Kim Dan’s conflicted emotions surrounding gratitude and debt, contrasting his interactions with Joo Jaekyung and his grandmother, Shin Okja. Additionally, I will explore how Kim Dan’s conditioned identity as a caregiver drives his choices, even in his current living situation with the landlord, where he unconsciously replicates past dynamics. Ultimately, I will elaborate how Kim Dan’s newfound awareness could reshape his identity and relationships moving forward.

By comparing Episode 61 to earlier scenes, we can uncover recurring themes of sacrifice and rejection of help, shedding light on how Kim Dan’s mindset continues to perpetuate his suffering. This essay aims to unravel his internal contradictions, demonstrating how his struggles with gratitude, self-perception, and consent are deeply rooted in his past and manifest in his present relationships.

Bruised Flesh, Silent Cries

The bruise on Kim Dan’s arm in episode 61 (chapter 61) serves as a profound symbol of his neglect, overexertion, and silent suffering. More than just a physical injury, it reflects his exhaustion, malnutrition, and inability to recognize his own limits. Despite being a visible mark of his struggles, it goes unnoticed, until the champion, Joo Jaekyung, becomes the first to see it. (Chapter 61) His unexpected reaction catches Kim Dan off guard, further emphasizing how disconnected the doctor has become from his own well-being. However, contrary to the past (chapter 11), Kim Dan is truly responsible for the contusion. He caused the injury by removing the needle from the drip. (chapter 60) By taking this action, he absolved Joo Jaekyung of any responsibility for the injury, but this is merely a superficial conclusion. (Chapter 61) On the hand the circumstances surrounding the bruise, where Kim Dan removed the needle on his own, provide insight into his psyche. The deeper cause of the bruise lies in Kim Dan’s declining health, which is intrinsically connected to his malnutrition and the neglect he faces from those around him. It is important to recall that Joo Jaekyung was explicitly informed that Kim Dan needed rest (chapter 60). Yet, with his insistence, (chapter 61), he forced the physical therapist to keep working, adding even more strain than before. Though the physical therapist attempted to voice his disapproval, (chapter 61), he ultimately had no choice but to comply, as his order came from the hospice director. (Chapter 61) And why did the director override Kim Dan’s need for rest? Money and free PR. Joo Jaekyung’s influence secured the director’s approval, disregarding the doctor’s well-being in favor of business interests. This conversation at the director’s office makes one thing clear: words hold no power against profit. An d that realization led me to another connection—every one of Kim Dan’s bruises is linked to exploitation, whether by authority, obligation, or financial influence.

Chapter 11Chapter 18Chapter 43

To summarize, all his bruises were linked to money. In episode 11 and 18, it was related to the debts and the loan shark Heo Manwook. Then in episode 43 it was because of the expensive present Kim Dan wanted to offer to his boss and idol. However, notice that just before making the decision to offer a birthday gift, Kim Dan had been encouraged by his grandmother to show his generosity and gratitude towards the athlete. (Chapter 41) It is clear that she was inciting him to work harder than before. This displays that Kim Dan was not allowed to rest. During this encounter, she didn’t ask him about his well-being either. And what is the link between these 3 episodes? The grandmother and her poverty. The latter was responsible for the loan.

And because of money, Kim Dan never went on his own to the hospital in order to get treated. That’s how it dawned on me how the halmoni’s neglect could be exposed. No hospital or doctor has a file about Kim Dan as patient. When Shin Okja was transferred to the hospice, the hospice director and doctor received her patient file, hence he could make the following prognostics: she didn’t have much time to live. (chapter 56) Kim Dan has only visited the hospital once, and this was solely due to Joo Jaekyung’s intervention. The latter needed medical attention himself (chapter 18) and took Kim Dan along, ensuring he was seen as an emergency patient. However, this visit was brief and lacked any comprehensive medical examination—no blood samples were taken, and his underlying health concerns remained undiagnosed. This omission further underscores the neglect Kim Dan has suffered, as even in a medical setting, his long-term health issues were overlooked.

In other words, the moment the main lead’s health condition worsens and he is brought to the hospice, it is likely that the medical staff will seek details regarding his medical history. Given that he has never received proper care, they may turn to his grandmother, Shin Okja, for information about his past treatments and health status. And what did the old woman confess to the gentle and kind celebrity? (chapter 21) He had never been healthy and strong. Moreover, when he joined them, at no moment the senior asked if he had gone to the doctor, though he had been sick before. (chapter 21) But back then, the champion didn’t pay too much attention to it. In my opinion, her response will likely reflect her established pattern of emotional detachment and deflection of responsibility. Rather than admitting her lack of concern for his well-being, she may shift blame onto the staff or Kim Dan himself (chapter 57). In the last case, she will downplay the severity of his condition, insisting that he has always been stubborn and independent. She could even mention her conversation, when she tried to convince Kim Dan to return to Seoul, but the latter refused to listen to her.

Shin Okja might express surprise or even mild indignation at the idea that Kim Dan has been suffering in silence. She could feign ignorance, claiming that he never shared his struggles with her or that she assumed he was capable of handling his own affairs. Her response may also reveal an attempt to protect her own image, deflecting any potential criticism of her negligence. At the same time, she might subtly imply that Kim Dan’s health issues are the result of his own choices—his insistence on working tirelessly, his rejection of her past attempts to offer him food (chapter 5), or his general reluctance to ask for help. He rejected the athlete’s help and concern. (chapter 60) In addition, Jinx-philes should recall how the nurse 1 reacted to doc Dan’s dizziness and workaholism (chapter 57). She blamed the main lead, because she imagined that Shin Okja would worry about him. However, it becomes clear that the halmoni is not worried about her grandson at all. She is acting like a fan in front of the athlete. (chapter 61) One might argue that based on this scene, the grandmother didn’t see him with the bruise on his arm. (chapter 61) He only remained at the door. However, observe that there was a cut between this image (chapter 61) and the conversation between the main couple in front of the hospice. (chapter 61) So he could have made his presence known to his relative before asking Joo Jaekyung to follow him because of his treatment. To conclude, I believe that she had the time and occasion to see her grandchild and his bruise.

This confrontation with the hospice staff may serve as a pivotal moment, not only in exposing the extent of Kim Dan’s suffering but also in highlighting the grandmother’s true nature. If the medical professionals press further, requesting past medical records or details of where he had been treated, it will become evident that there is little to no documented history. She had never been worried about his health, since he was young. This realization could solidify the perception of Kim Dan as someone who has been neglected for years, forcing those around him—especially Joo Jaekyung—to reevaluate their understanding of his struggles.

And now, you know why Cheolmin is so important. (chapter 13) He is the only doctor who has ever examined the protagonist so closely and even paid attention to his fingernails! (chapter 13) At the same time, the chingu from the club was the first one pointing out that his wounds were never treated!! Furthermore, I realized that the doctor’s lies from episode 11 (chapter 11) could appear in a different light: he was not beaten by Heo Manwook, but he truly tripped on the stairs due to his weak constitution, a new version of this scene: (chapter 59) He would space out and even fall asleep at any moment.

Secondly, by contrasting these bruises, I noticed a pattern. First, it was the doctor’s left eye, then the right eye. The bruises on the eyes symbolized the doctor’s blindness. The latter had been avoiding reality. At the same time, the purple eyes exposed people’s sightlessness and indifference. Later the physical therapist injures his hands and knee, but no one intervened again. (chapter 43) They imagined that rest was the best solution, something the champion had heard from Cheolmin before. That’s why he listened to his manager’s suggestion. He let him sleep instead of urging him to eat something. He had heard that rest was crucial forgetting that Kim Dan was suffering from malnutrition. (chapter 13) The latter was the cause for the severe exhaustion. However, like mentioned above, the doctor is not blameless either, because he never questioned why his wounds on the hand were bleeding again. (chapter 43) He thought, it was related to the massage, yet the reality was that this incident showed that he had coagulation issues. To conclude, all the bruises could have always been noticed by people due to their locations (eyes, hands, arm)! (chapter 11) While the manager and Kwak Junbeom saw the injury and accepted the “excuse”, the nurses are now no longer paying attention to Kim Dan’s well-being contrary to the past. The bruise on the doctor’s arm reflects the staff’s neglect: they are not helping him. They are now more obsessed with handsome guys (chapter 61) and his relationship with Joo Jaekyung. (chapter 61) That’s how I recognized why these women’s warm welcome and curiosity about Kim Dan were rather superficial. (chapter 56) His arrival stands for novelty and a breath of fresh air at the institution. However, with this change, the female staff is forgetting their original duty: they need to pay attention to their colleagues. They are behaving like the grandmother (chapter 61): fangirling over the handsome guys visiting their little town. That’s why Mingwa drew flowers in the last two images. No wonder why no one around Kim Dan is observing the bruise and his deteriorating condition. Moreover, since the physical therapist has a relative at the hospice, the staff is envisioning that Shin Okja is doing “her work”, she is paying attention to Kim Dan’s mental and physical conditions. On the other hand, there is no doubt that the grandmother has already delegated her own responsibility onto others, Kim Dan and the hospice. It is a medical institution, therefore they should pay attention to his working conditions. In other words, since no one feels responsible for the protagonist’s health, no one is worried about Kim Dan at all. At the end of episode 61, he is even so pale and breathless (chapter 61) that I am anticipating a terrible incident leading to a rude awakening for everyone.

Furthermore, the bruise (chapter 61) also reflects Kim Dan’s personality—marked by his selflessness, deep-seated low self-esteem and sacrificing tendencies. His inability to prioritize his own well-being is a recurring theme throughout the story, and it is intrinsically linked to his perception of self-worth. Conditioned by his upbringing, he has internalized the belief that his existence is burdensome, reinforcing his tendency to endure pain in silence. The fact that he was never taken to a doctor only strengthened his negative self-perception—medical care was seen as an expense he was unworthy of, a burden his grandmother should not have to bear.

The doctor’s bruise and Shin Okja’s education

In reality, Shin Okja’s supposed sacrifices were not genuine acts of selflessness but a carefully maintained illusion. While Kim Dan grew up believing she had given up so much for him, the truth was that she consistently prioritized herself, shaping his perception of responsibility and guilt. By neglecting his health, she subtly ingrained in him the notion that he was undeserving of care, further reinforcing his compulsion to sacrifice himself for others. This duality—the physical fragility of his health and the emotional scars of a neglected childhood—underscores the profound symbolic weight of the bruise, marking not just his external injuries but also the wounds inflicted upon his psyche.

Furthermore, in Chapter 61, (chapter 61) Shin Okja offers her yogurt to Joo Jaekyung, expressing concern over his weight loss. This small act of care stands in stark contrast to her treatment of Kim Dan, who has visibly suffered from weight loss and paleness too. In season 2, she no longer asked him if he would eat or if he desired to eat the yogurts.

Her neglect does not merely stem from past interactions, such as when Kim Dan dismissed her offerings, claiming he was no longer a child. It is rooted in a deeper belief that her responsibilities toward him have ended. (chapter 47) For Shin Okja, raising him to adulthood marked the completion of her duty, and his current struggles are no longer her concern. This perspective becomes evident in her words from Chapter 57, where she tells him, he can’t stay here forever, and it’s not like he’ll stick around after she dies. (chapter 57) By declaring that Kim Dan is now responsible for his own life, she emotionally detaches herself, absolving herself of any accountability for his deteriorating condition. However, she is forgetting (chapter 56) that she is still relying on him, as he is the one paying her hospice bills. Besides, she still doesn’t know that the loan is no longer existent. It was, as if he had to clean up her mess before her death. At no moment, she asks about the loan or the doctor’s future. She is not thinking about his future at all.

Moreover, Shin Okja’s earlier acknowledgment of Kim Dan’s worsening health condition (chapter 57) —coupled with his refusal to heed her concerns (chapter 57) — reinforces her conviction that she has fulfilled her role. In her mind, his rejection of her advice places the burden of care entirely on him, allowing her to dismiss any further involvement. This emotional withdrawal directly connects to the symbolism of the bruise: (chapter 61) it signifies not only Kim Dan’s physical neglect but also the absence of meaningful support from those who should care for him. The bruise becomes a manifestation of his grandmother’s abdication of responsibility, leaving him to bear the weight of his sacrifices alone, even as his health visibly deteriorates.

The bruise also holds significance in the context of the debts. (chapter 18) In episode 18, when Joo Jaekyung confronts Kim Dan about the loan, the doctor has a bruise on his left eye, symbolizing his entrapment and helplessness. This earlier injury highlights how Kim Dan has been conditioned to view himself as responsible for burdens that are not his own, perpetuating a cycle of sacrifice and self-neglect. And a new bruise appeared just after the athlete reminded the physical therapist of his past promise: (chapter 61) His grandmother’s disregard for his well-being amplifies the injustice of this situation; she allowed him to shoulder the debt despite knowing it was never truly his to bear. The bruise becomes a recurring motif, a visual representation of how others have imposed their responsibilities on Kim Dan, leaving him physically and emotionally scarred.

Shin Okja’s role in Kim Dan’s life is pivotal in understanding his psyche. Her methods of control were often passive-aggressive, characterized by guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation. In flashbacks, we see her imposing adult responsibilities on Kim Dan at a young age, reinforcing the idea that he must grow up quickly to alleviate her burdens. This dynamic is exemplified in Chapter 47, where she remarks, “You still have a lot of growing up to do, don’t you?” (chapter 47) In Chapter 57, Shin Okja’s detachment becomes more evident as she advises Kim Dan to leave the hospice. (chapter 57) These words strip Kim Dan of any sense of belonging or familial connection, further isolating him. Her suggestion that he move on reflects her mental and emotional withdrawal from him, leaving him adrift. This detachment, however, creates an opportunity for Joo Jaekyung to step into her place. As Shin Okja relinquishes her hold over Kim Dan, Joo Jaekyung’s role in his life becomes increasingly significant. The question remains whether Joo Jaekyung will rise to the occasion, offering Kim Dan the emotional support and respect he has long been denied.

The Symbolism of the Setting

The hospice, Light of Hope, serves as a symbolic backdrop for Kim Dan’s journey. It represents both a place of healing and a stark reminder of his sacrifices (chapter 60). The juxtaposition of the vibrant environment with Kim Dan’s deteriorating health underscores the neglect he faces. The hospice is meant to be a sanctuary, yet it becomes a space where Kim Dan is further burdened by the champion and his grandmother’s expectations (chapter 61) and the weight of his past.

The setting also reflects the champion’s role in Kim Dan’s life. Joo Jaekyung’s presence at the hospice symbolizes a potential turning point (chapter 61), where Kim Dan might finally confront his suppressed emotions and begin to heal. However, the pivotal detail lies in where Joo Jaekyung first notices the bruise on Kim Dan’s arm—not within the hospice but outside, in front of the building. This distinction is significant, as it suggests that Kim Dan’s true healing will not occur within the confines of the hospice itself, but in the broader expanse of nature, away from the constructed sanctuary. It hints at a deeper connection to the natural world as a source of renewal and recovery, a theme subtly woven into Kim Dan’s earlier reflections.

The imagery ties back to Kim Dan’s own words about Joo Jaekyung: (chapter 55) This line “I finally feel like I can breathe again”, written by Kim Dan, reveals a subconscious acknowledgment that his relationship with the champion represents a breath of fresh air, a chance to escape the suffocating expectations and burdens he has carried for so long. The bruise, a physical manifestation of his struggle, signals the breaking point of his role as a selfless caregiver. It challenges the illusion of invulnerability that Kim Dan has maintained and forces those around him to confront his vulnerability.

Furthermore, this notion of healing outside the hospice aligns with the setting of Kim Dan’s unconscious cry for help—the beach. His suicidal disposition in that scene reflects a desperate need for release, a yearning for an escape that the structured environment of the hospice cannot provide. (chapter 60) The beach, with its open and untamed expanse, symbolizes freedom and a return to the self. It foreshadows that Kim Dan’s true journey toward healing will require him to step outside the roles and confines imposed upon him, finding solace not in what is expected but in what feels authentic and liberating.

The Burden of Debts and Sacrifice

Kim Dan’s relationship with the debts encapsulates his conditioned belief that he must bear burdens alone. (chapter 18) His grandmother, Shin Okja, played a significant role in this mindset by fostering the illusion that hard work and sacrifice would erase the debts. However, as revealed in episode 18, this was a lie. Shin Okja made the choice to take on the loan and not to seek help (chapter 5), yet she burdened Kim Dan with it, using his sense of duty and gratitude against him. Her statement in episode 57 (chapter 57) —“This place isn’t your hometown, and you don’t have any ties here”—further reinforces the emotional distance she has always maintained, treating him more as an obligation than family. However, she is forgetting that as a senior, she still has obligations towards her grandson.

Joo Jaekyung’s decision to pay off the loan (chapter 18) in Episode 18 introduces the theme of gratitude (chapter 18) —or, more accurately, the lack thereof. The champion’s actions were motivated by a desire to help (chapter 18), hence the star was waiting for a smile from Kim Dan. Yet the latter perceived it as meddling. His immediate response (chapter 18) —shock, disbelief, and rejection—revealed his inability to accept help. This reaction stems from his upbringing, where he was conditioned to equate self-worth with self-reliance. Even after moving into Joo Jaekyung’s penthouse, Kim Dan insisted on repaying the loan (chapter 53), leaving a note when he moved out that promises to settle the debt. However, by Episode 61, Kim Dan is no longer mentioning the debt, signaling a shift in his priorities and a possible breaking point in his adherence to his grandmother’s expectations. (chapter 61)

Kim Dan’s lack of gratitude toward Joo Jaekyung also stems from a deeper existential crisis. When the champion repaid the loan, he unknowingly deprived Kim Dan of what had become his sole purpose in life: assisting his grandmother. (chapter 47) The physical therapist’s entire existence had revolved around fulfilling her needs, from managing the debt to taking care of her health. With her now approaching death and actively pushing him away, Kim Dan is left grappling with a profound sense of meaninglessness. (chapter 60) He had never been given the opportunity to develop dreams or ambitions of his own, as his life was entirely defined by his grandmother’s circumstances. This lack of agency further explains his rejection of Joo Jaekyung’s generosity in Episode 18 and his later promise to reimburse the loan. Clinging to this promise was Kim Dan’s way of creating purpose and meaning in a life that had otherwise been dictated by others. It highlights how deeply entrenched his self-sacrificing tendencies are, as even his attempts to assert independence are rooted in his conditioned need to serve others. That’s why I come to the following prediction. Kim Dan needs to get confronted with illness and death (he could lose his life) so that his will for life comes to the surface. Right now, he imagines that since he is young, he will outlive his relative, but the death of the puppy was a warning to him that youth is no guarantee for a long life. (chapter 59) Death can take away anyone and at any moment. In my eyes, if Joo Jaekyung uses his own body to save the doctor again (like for example blood transfusion and CPR), this time Kim Dan would feel truly grateful towards the champion. So far, the doctor has not recognized the star as his savior yet. By removing the needle, he denied the protagonist’s intervention on the beach: (chapter 60) Hence his arm got bruised. The contusion was a reminder that something had happened during that night, but Kim Dan chose to ignore the incident. He never questioned why he was on the beach, he acted, as if Joo JAekyung had lied. (chapter 60)

The Hypocrisy of Gratitude

Kim Dan’s inability to express gratitude towards Joo Jaekyung is rooted in the hypocrisy of his situation. (chapter 18) Deep down, Kim Dan knows that the debt was never truly his responsibility, making it difficult for him to view the champion’s actions as a genuine act of kindness. This inner conflict is compounded by his suicidal disposition, which renders the concept of repaying the debt meaningless.

Additionally, Kim Dan’s relationship with gratitude is further complicated by his grandmother’s influence. Shin Okja used pity (chapter 53) and guilt to manipulate Kim Dan into fulfilling her wishes, framing his sacrifices as acts of love and duty. Her neglect and disregard for his well-being, even as he deteriorates physically and emotionally, highlight her selfishness. Through his past memories, readers can get a glimpse of his misery. (chapter 59) He worked so hard, was even beaten, but he could never voice his torment. (chapter 59) Why? It is because the grandmother was no longer by his side and she never talked to him either. The absence of communication indicates her lack of interest in Kim Dan. And it becomes comprehensible why during that night, he felt the need to go to the ocean and drown himself. It is because he was gradually realizing his loneliness. With his relative’s death, he would only keep living a terrible life determined by work and nothing else.

And because Kim Dan made the promise to the champion to reimburse him, it is clear why the fighter reminded him of the “unpaid debt” after their reunion. (chapter 60) (chapter 60) Since Kim Dan had not accepted the fighter’s generosity and even reaffirmed the need to pay back the “loan”, Joo Jaekyung imagined that his fated partner was very principled about money. The latter was used to drive an edge between them. However, the MMA fighter made a terrible mistake at the hospice. With his remark (chapter 60), he created the impression that he was impatient, expecting to be paid back, and as such his past generosity was in truth fake. He never desired to assist the doctor with this problem. And note that from that night on, the physical therapist is no longer bringing up the topic of the unpaid debts. (chapter 61) In my opinion, the physical therapist has now internalized that he is not responsible for the unpaid debts. It is only a matter of time, until Kim Dan confronts the fighter with his biased prejudices (chapter 11) and even uses his own words against him: (chapter 22) The loan was the result of his grandmother’s decision. He never helped him, rather his grandmother.

The dynamic between Kim Dan and Joo Jaekyung also reveals the former’s hypocrisy. Despite feeling trapped and powerless, Kim Dan had choices. He could reveal the truth to the athlete, when he begged for his help: (chapter 11) However, he never explained his circumstances to the generous athlete. By keeping him in the dark, he reinforced his negative disposition about the doctor. And chapter 61 exposes this reality. His suffering was the result of his own decision. (chapter 61) Do you recognize the room? That was the doctor’s (chapter 19) (chapter 53) His decision to allow Joo Jaekyung into his bedroom in episode 61 demonstrates that he consented to the relationship, even if begrudgingly. (chapter 61) However, his reaction afterward (regret) suggests that he struggles to take ownership of his choices. The fact that he recalled this sex scene in the restroom divulges a certain resent towards the athlete. The latter abandoned him right after their interaction. Hence I come to the following deduction. In reality, he is projecting his frustrations onto Joo Jaekyung, masking his true feelings about his grandmother, who is the root cause of his conditioned self-sacrifice. And this observation brings to my next remark. People wondered when this intercourse took place. One might think that this took place rather early in the story because of the way Joo Jaekyung acted. He didn’t remove his pants (chapter 61) and acted like in episode 6. (chapter 6) or 8 (chapter 8) where he would abandon the protagonist right after the climax and not care about his partner’s conditions and feelings: (chapter 61) I might be wrong, but for me, it took place much later in the story, around the time the athlete was about to face Alfredo. Why? First notice that they had sex in the doctor’s bedroom. This means that Kim Dan was already living in the penthouse. The words from the champion implied that he would return to his own bedroom, where the doctor’s thoughts implied that he was standing close to his bed. However, so far, they only had sex in the champion’s bedroom, when it was the evening before the match: (chapter 13) Since the doctor mentioned that a match was right around the corner (chapter 61) It leaves us four possibilities. Randy Booker, Dominic Hill, Alfredo (chapter 47) and Baek Junmin. However, for the intercourse took place in the doctor’s bedroom (he wished to be carried to his own bed) (chapter 61), I am already excluding Randy Booker. Secondly, this sex session can not have taken place before his match with Dominic Hill (chapter 36), for they had sex every day. However, in episode 53, we discover their night before the match against the Shotgun (chapter 53) So this scene can only have taken place in chapter 47, when the match with Angelo got canceled and Kim Dan had been confronted with the terrible news about his terminally ill grandmother. (chapter 47) In the previous part of this essay, my avid readers could see the strong parallels between 61 and 47. But there exists another reason why I am inclining to think that the sex scene took place later in the story. It is because during that “magical night” (44), Kim Dan learned the notion of “consent”. (chapter 44) During that blue hour, Kim Dan discovered that he could say no! And notice that in his memory, he clearly thought that he could have rejected the athlete’s advances. (chapter 61) The other reason for this theory is Park Namwook’s advice at the gym: (chapter 46) He should mistrust the members from the gym and keep his distance from people. So during that time, Joo Jaekyung did follow his hyung’s advice (chapter 47), yet I can’t imagine that this man could become abstinent like in episode 19. Hence at some point, he must have felt the urge to possess Kim Dan, a mixture of fear and dominance. He imagined that way that he could impose his will onto the doctor and control his “loyalty”. With this submission, he would force the doctor to remain by his side. But naturally, this sex as “power play” could increase the gap between the main leads.

Interesting is that in episode 53 (chapter 53) doc Dan was copying the champion’s behavior from episode 61. Right after the sex, he would leave the bed and return to his bedroom. How did Joo Jaekyung recall this night? (chapter 53) He saw his attitude as a sign of disloyalty and “abandonment”. And that’s how Kim Dan is feeling in the restroom: (chapter 61) The darkness around the eyes is a metaphor for his resent and anger. And the moment you contrast the two memories (53 and 61), you can detect the hypocrisy of the two main leads. They only recall scenes where they were hurt and felt betrayed. However, in reality, they were both victims and perpetrators, because none of them chose to open up and talk to each other. Why? It is because both chose to listen to their “guardian” and their “favor”. Like mentioned before, in a quarrel, no one is right and wrong. The purpose of an argument is to listen to the counterpart and view incidents from their perspective. Finally, the physical therapist’s recollection serves as an important evidence that he had never been powerless and helpless. He could have refused all the time because their deal was never official.He could have used the contract as a shield. But the best evidence of Kim Dan’s power is this rejection: (chapter 61) I had already pointed out the increasing resistance and resilience from Kim Dan in episode 60: (chapter 61) My prediction came true. In the past, he could have denied the existence of the deal, Joo Jaekyung was free to seek another physical therapist. He never realized that he had some leverage. Yet he still followed the athlete’s requests. He saw himself bound by obligations. However, this was just an illusion. Hence in episode 61, we see him legitimating his consent that there was an imminent fight. (chapter 61) This shows that he always used others to justify his choices. That way, he could portray himself as a dutiful and loving person, while his sacrifices would all go unnoticed.

The doctor’s fate: a reflection of Joo Jaekyung’s life

Kim Dan’s bruises are more than just marks of exhaustion and overexertion; they symbolize the way his body is used for the benefit of others. (chapter 61) He is expected to work despite his declining health, his suffering dismissed by those around him. (chapter 61) His well-being is secondary to business interests, whether it be the hospice director valuing money and PR over his need for rest or Joo Jaekyung imposing additional strain despite knowing better. Every bruise on Kim Dan’s body is a reflection of a system that prioritizes productivity over humanity.

This, however, mirrors Joo Jaekyung’s own existence. (chapter 40) He is paid to receive bruises, to push his body past its limits (chapter 50), to endure pain while the public watches and profits are made. His suffering is entertainment, a spectacle that fuels the business of MMA. Though he is a champion, he is still a commodity, expected to perform regardless of his condition. (chapter 61) He understands, better than anyone, what it means to be physically used for the sake of others, yet he remains blind to the fact that he has placed Kim Dan in the same position. While one has no file about his health condition, the other has many files, but they are not studied, because this would push the manager to question his decision and even ruin the business: (chapter 17) I doubt that Park Namwook studied them, and notice that the recently hired PT didn’t ask for the champion’s files first: (chapter 54) Thus I deduce that the champion’s files are in reality a subterfuge. They give the impression that the doctors and Park Namwook truly care for his well-being, but it is not correct. They are only interested in his body because of wealth and reputation. But let’s return our attention to episode 61 and the champion’s attitude towards Kim Dan.

The hypocrisy is undeniable. (chapter 61) Joo Jaekyung pressures Kim Dan to work through his pain, (chapter 61) despite living a life where he is forced to do the same. He became what he despised—someone who forces another to sacrifice their well-being for business. (chapter 60) The reality is, both of them exist in a world where their worth is determined by what their bodies can endure. Kim Dan’s value is measured by his ability to work, just as Jaekyung’s is determined by his ability to fight. They are both trapped in a system that demands their suffering for profit, used by those in power who see them as tools rather than individuals.

If Joo Jaekyung fails to recognize this parallel, he will only perpetuate the very cycle that has shaped his own pain. But if he does, it could be the key to not only freeing Kim Dan from this exploitation but also breaking himself out of the same cycle. The question remains: will he see the truth before it’s too late? (chapter 54) It is clear that the manager wants Joo Jaekyung to return to the ring as soon as possible to erase the last “debacle”. In my opinion, the doctor’s illness could serve Joo Jaekyung as an excuse to delay his return to the ring and even not to accept the next challenge.

A Caregiver’s Identity

Kim Dan’s choice to rent from an elderly landlord (chapter 57) is another manifestation of his conditioned role as a caregiver. By living with an older man, he creates the illusion of a familial bond, mirroring the dynamic he shared with his grandmother. This decision highlights his struggle to break free from the identity imposed on him—one defined by servitude and selflessness. He assumes that he should take care of the landlord, offering to cook and expressing guilt for not fulfilling this perceived duty. Yet, the landlord subtly challenges this narrative. By inviting Kim Dan to eat breakfast (chapter 57) and dismissing his apologies, the landlord treats him as an equal rather than a caretaker. This dynamic forces Kim Dan to confront his false perception of himself.

The landlord’s care, though understated, contrasts sharply with Kim Dan’s expectations. In Episode 57, the landlord observes Kim Dan’s declining health and attempts to address his drinking habits. (chapter 57) Despite this, Kim Dan rejects the advice, demonstrating his resistance to being cared for. This moment underscores his internal conflict—he craves independence yet clings to the role of the selfless provider. The landlord’s actions expose the fallacy of Kim Dan’s identity, revealing that his caregiving is not always necessary or effective.

Kim Dan’s Transformation: From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Awareness

Chapter 61 marks a significant shift in Kim Dan’s psyche—he begins to view himself with self-pity. That’s why he recalled the sex in the restroom. (chapter 61) He was not feeling well, yet the champion still demanded to have sex with him. (chapter 61) However, like pointed out above, he could have objected and even explained the situation. But no… he chose silence and submission in the end. This exposes the long internalized belief that Joo Jaekyung is stubborn and won’t listen or even get angry. Moreover, it is related to the grandmother’s education which privileged money, obedience, silence and taboo. However, the recollection (chapter 61) is indicating the increasing resent and anger towards the star. Joo Jaekyung is no longer seen as a celebrity and idol, but as a inconsiderate man. This transformation is subtle but meaningful, as it reflects his burgeoning awareness of his own worth and the unjust treatment he has endured. For the first time, Kim Dan acknowledges himself as pitiful (chapter 61), a clear departure from his habitual role of unquestioned self-sacrifice. This moment signals the emergence of a new identity, where Kim Dan starts “treasuring” himself, even if only as someone who deserves more respect than he has been given. In his recollection, he has a wish: to have a companion who would take care of him.

Kim Dan’s realization that he was not respected by Joo Jaekyung (chapter 61) parallels the emotional and mental detachment of Shin Okja. While his grandmother had long imposed the role of a caregiver upon him, (chapter 61) her current disregard for his health and well-being forces him to confront the fragility of his own existence. His bruised arm and poor health serve as physical manifestations of this awakening—he is no longer the tireless, invincible caregiver but a vulnerable human being who could fall gravely ill (chapter 61) or even abandon others first. (chapter 53)

The Emotional Transition: Joo Jaekyung’s Role in Kim Dan’s Life

This transformation in Kim Dan reflects a deeper narrative shift in Jinx: the exploration of self-worth and emotional reciprocity. It signals that relationships should not be defined by obligation and sacrifice alone but also by mutual respect and care. As Kim Dan begins to recognize his own worth, the dynamics of his relationships with both Shin Okja and Joo Jaekyung are poised to change dramatically. (chapter 61) This chapter sets the stage for a redefinition of Kim Dan’s identity (chapter 61), no longer bound by the roles others have imposed on him but shaped by his own choices and growing self-respect.

Shin Okja’s emotional detachment opens a door for Joo Jaekyung to step into her place, but this transition is contingent on Joo Jaekyung admitting his feelings for Kim Dan. (chapter 61) The physical reminder of Kim Dan’s poor health is not only a wake-up call for Joo Jaekyung but also for Kim Dan himself. It emphasizes that caregiving cannot define his identity entirely, and he too needs care and consideration.

This dynamic creates a powerful opportunity for growth in their relationship. If Joo Jaekyung is to fill the void left by Shin Okja, he must evolve from a figure of dominance to one of emotional support and genuine affection. Similarly, Kim Dan must shed the remnants of his belief that his only worth lies in what he can do for others. His growing self-awareness, catalyzed by his deteriorating health, paves the way for this mutual transformation.

The Role of Health as a Narrative Reminder

Kim Dan’s health, deteriorating as it is, serves a dual purpose. For Joo Jaekyung, it is a stark reminder of the consequences of his past neglect (chapter 13) and the fragility of Kim Dan’s existence. For Kim Dan, it challenges his self-perception as an indestructible caregiver. This realization could lead him to an inevitable conclusion: his own needs and well-being are just as important as those of others.

Ironically, this reversal also suggests a possibility that Kim Dan could be the one to abandon his grandmother first—not out of malice but as a natural consequence of his newfound understanding of his humanity. He wants to live, he doesn’t want to die now. His physical limitations and emotional exhaustion could compel him to prioritize his own survival over the expectations imposed on him, marking a definitive break from his past.

To conclude, Kim Dan’s deteriorating health presents a pivotal moment in his journey, marking a potential shift from mere survival to truly embracing life. His identity, long defined by caregiving and sacrifice, could face a profound challenge if his condition worsens, forcing him into a role of dependency. Joo Jaekyung’s role in this transformation could be equally transformative. Witnessing Kim Dan’s vulnerability might inspire the champion to step into the role of a true caregiver, fostering a deeper emotional connection between them. This shift would starkly contrast Kim Dan’s relationship with his grandmother, where care was one-sided and manipulative. Instead, it could establish a foundation of mutual respect and shared responsibility, breaking the cycle of transactional relationships that have defined Kim Dan’s past.

Ultimately, Kim Dan’s illness could become a catalyst for healing—not just physically but emotionally—for both him and Joo Jaekyung. It sets the stage for a relationship rooted in genuine care and respect, underscoring the broader theme of personal growth and the rediscovery of self-worth.

Conclusion

“Bruised by Choices, Bound by Sacrifice” encapsulates the complexities of Kim Dan’s character and his relationships. The recurring motif of the bruise serves as a powerful symbol of his struggles, reflecting both his physical pain and the emotional scars left by his upbringing. The debts, gratitude, and the hospice setting further illustrate how Kim Dan’s sacrifices have shaped his identity, forcing him to navigate a path filled with contradictions and unspoken resentments.

This examination also underscores the profound link between silence and sacrifice in Kim Dan’s journey. His suffering largely went unnoticed not just due to external neglect but because of his own choice to remain silent. Kim Dan never expressed his thoughts or emotions, choosing instead to endure in silence to avoid burdening his grandmother. Ironically, this silence was unnecessary, as Shin Okja herself was blinded by his youth, assuming that his vitality ensured he would outlive her. This assumption prevented her from recognizing his vulnerabilities, highlighting yet another layer of neglect in their relationship.

Through this lens, Kim Dan’s journey becomes a poignant exploration of the cost of selflessness and the courage it takes to reclaim one’s agency. His silence, once a symbol of sacrifice, now stands as a barrier he must overcome to truly heal and redefine his life on his own terms. By breaking free from the constraints of unspoken expectations and misplaced gratitude, Kim Dan’s transformation holds the promise of a future where his choices are guided by self-respect and a newfound understanding of his worth.

In earlier chapters, such as Chapter 57, Kim Dan’s landlord invited him to share breakfast, showing a degree of care and concern. However, Kim Dan deflected this gesture, maintaining his self-imposed role as a caregiver. In Chapter 58, despite sitting at a table with Heesung, Potato, and the landlord, Kim Dan’s disengagement from the meal—leaving most of the chicken untouched and avoiding the rice wine—highlighted his hidden struggles with both malnutrition and alcoholism. His deliberate avoidance of the rice wine reflects an effort to conceal his drinking habits, adding another layer to his isolation.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Tumblr-Twitter account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Jinx / Doctor Frost : Harmony’s clash⚡: Prince S 👸 and Emperor 🤴- part 2

1. The prince S and his negative reflection

In the first part, I examined Kim Dan’s mentality more closely. There, I portrayed the physical therapist as someone suffering from Dependent Personality Disorder. Moreover, I underlined that so far, Kim Dan had been raised under the influence of toxic positivity. Therefore he was constantly denying his own pain and struggles. Because of these two characteristics, I came to the following interpretation: the physical therapist was raised like a princess, and by meeting Joo Jaekyung, he got confronted with reality. Hence the argument with his fated partner incited him to change his mind-set. First, he was pushed to acknowledge the existence of his broken heart. Then from that moment on, he would no longer rely on the champion. (chapter 46) On the other hand, chapter 47 exposes that the doctor didn’t lose his interest and attention towards his boss. (chapter 47) This exposes that Kim Dan didn’t choose resent or indifference towards Joo Jaekyung despite the inflicted pain. On the other hand, why did I write that the celebrity is Kim Dan’s reflection? Why is the athlete the doctor’s mirror of truth? It is because Joo Jaekyung embodies his negative reflection: independency and toxic negativity. But what is the latter exactly?

Interesting is that I connected the physical therapist to Dependent Personality Disorder thanks to the case of “Tears of Princess Pyeonggang” from the Manhwa Doctor Frost. When the patient Sihyun met Doctor Frost, the latter explained to her why her last relationship was doomed to failure. How so? (chapter 31) It is because when the psychologist met the patient with her boyfriend for the first time, he paid attention to his micro-expressions, and more particularly to his mouth. He saw his smirk. Here, I feel the need to give an explanation how these micro-expressions were discovered. (chapter 30) As my avid readers can detect, the expression from the boyfriend’s mouth displeased the white-haired psychologist. He could recognize his emotion, though such facial expressions are very short-lived.(chapter 30) So what was the “jerk” feeling, when he was conversing with Sihyun? Cynicism. (chapter 31) And the reason why he stated that as soon as cynicism or scorn was present in a relationship, the couple would end up breaking up is because of John Gottham’s observations and conclusions. (chapter 31) And now, you are wondering how this is related to Joo Jaekyung. It is because the famous sportsman is full of cynicism (chapter 45) We could sense it in different scenes, though I would say that his cynicism was slowly vanishing: (chapter 3) (chapter 40) This is the so-called toxic negativity. Therefore it was to expect that the champion would reject the doctor’s present. He could only doubt the sincerity behind his gesture. How so? Remember how the team desired to celebrate his birthday: a surprise party. They bought a cake… (chapter 43) but what happened afterwards? Yosep spoke in the name of the gym’s owner: the latter would pay for the dinner (beef restaurant) (chapter 43) So technically, they offered a cheap cake and got in exchange a super expensive dinner. One might say that this was just a joke. But cynical people are taking things very seriously. This is what the champion learned from this experience, the cake in exchange for a super expensive meal … and now imagine that the next morning, he received an „expensive“ present from Kim Dan which was similar to the gifts from fans (exchange of favors). It is normal that he doubted the genuineness from his doctor, not only because of his past experiences, but also because of the parties before. But there exists another reason why he had to refuse the gift: Cynicism… the end of relationship. Thus dating for the athlete was impossible. (chapter 45) He is not ready yet. But was it Cynicism exactly and how does it represent a hindrance for a healthy relationship?

2. The cynic dog-wolf

First, I would like to present the philosophy of Cynicism in order to outline certain positive aspects of such a mind-set. The latter, originating in ancient Greece, is often associated with the notion of living a life of simplicity, virtue, and independence. The term “Cynic” comes from the Greek words “kynikos,” meaning “dog-like,” and “kyôn,” meaning “dog.” While the origins of this name are not entirely clear, there are two popular beliefs regarding its origin:

Firstly, it is believed that the Cynics were called dogs because the first Cynic, Antisthenes, began teaching in the Cynosarges gymnasium in Athens. “Cynosarges” translates to “the place of the white dog,” hence the association with canines. Another possible origin for the term “dog” in Cynicism is attributed to Diogenes of Sinope, one of the most famous Cynic philosophers. Diogenes famously lived in a large ceramic jar (known as a “pithos”) and embraced a lifestyle of extreme simplicity and disregard for social conventions. He would reportedly wander the streets of Athens with a lantern in broad daylight, searching for an honest man.

Cynic ethics revolve around the principles of freedom, parrhesia (frank speech or fearless expression), living according to nature, and rejection of societal norms and conventions. Cynics believed that true happiness and virtue could only be attained by living in accordance with nature and rejecting the desires and comforts of society. They often practiced asceticism, eschewing material possessions and living a life of self-sufficiency.

The Cynics emphasized the importance of living in accordance with one’s true nature, rather than conforming to societal expectations or pursuing external desires. They criticized authorities and traditions, they valued self-reliance, resilience, and inner strength, believing that true freedom could only be achieved by freeing oneself from the constraints of society and material wealth. In addition to their rejection of societal norms and conventions, Cynics also challenged the traditional notion of family and social hierarchies. They believed that attachments to family and social status were sources of unnecessary suffering and constraint on individual freedom.

Cynics advocated for a radical form of individualism, promoting self-sufficiency and independence from familial ties and obligations. They viewed the traditional family structure as a hindrance to living a virtuous and authentic life, arguing that it often led to conflicts of interest, attachment to material possessions, and moral compromise. Instead of relying on familial relationships for support and identity, Cynics encouraged individuals to cultivate relationships based on mutual respect and philosophical kinship. They believed that true friendship and community could only be found among those who shared their commitment to living a life of simplicity, virtue, and freedom from societal constraints.

By rejecting the traditional notion of family, Cynics sought to liberate themselves from the expectations and obligations imposed by social norms and hierarchies. They embraced a lifestyle of radical individualism and self-sufficiency, prioritizing personal autonomy and philosophical integrity above all else.

Central to Cynic philosophy was the concept of parrhesia, or fearless expression of truth. Cynics advocated for speaking openly and honestly, even if it meant challenging social norms or offending others. They believed that by speaking truth to power and living authentically, individuals could cultivate inner freedom and achieve true happiness.

In summary, Cynicism is a philosophical school that advocates for living a simple, virtuous life in accordance with nature, free from societal constraints and material desires. It emphasizes the importance of parrhesia, self-sufficiency, and fearless expression of truth as essential elements of living a truly fulfilling and authentic life.

After reading this short presentation, Jinx-philes can sense some similarities between the athlete and this philosophical movement. First, he rejects norms and conventions. He is behaving like an animal, compared to a wolf. (chapter 7) This approach also gives us an explanation how Joo Jaekyung came to develop such an exhibitionistic sexual behavior: sex in the shower room (chapter 8), in the office, in the car, in front of a mirror, in front of Heesung in the living room… Don’t forget that Diogenes would even masturbate in public.

Additionally, he doesn’t see Team Black as “family”, but as a place to learn toughness and endurance. That’s where he could experience “freedom”. Thus his honesty is brutal. (chapter 46) (chapter 46) Consequently, he never tried to get close to his members either. In fact, he is expecting from the staff to follow his lead. Potato could only get rejected with such a request. (chapter 23) The latter had to act like a true disciple and follow the champion’s recommendation. (chapter 23) The gym is like his sacred temple. Yet, the gym is just a simulacre of “nature”, as it is in the middle of Seoul. Therefore I realized why after their argument, Joo Jaekyung avoided the penthouse and Kim Dan in the end. (chapter 47) It is because deep down, the champion sensed that his flat had become a home. He wanted to ensure that the penthouse was still a workplace or a hotel room. Thus he refused to eat the breakfasts prepared from his PT. In his eyes, these meals must have appeared as a violation of his self-imposed discipline. It was more than self-sufficiency. Under this new light, Jinx-philes can grasp why he rejects presents and prefers donating money. (chapter 41) He is looking for freedom and self-sufficiency, detached from any material need. This explains why the golden keychain from Kim Dan could only offend him. (chapter 45) It symbolized everything he hates: a reminder of wealth, superficiality, attachment, secrecy and silence. It also exposed the huge difference in their mind-set. Kim Dan is not his disciple! He imagined that he had found a kindred spirit, especially after that night: (chapter 39) The reason is simple. The champion had finally found someone who accepted his roughness in bed and could match his stamina.

As you can imagine, Joo Jaekyung is naturally a fake Cynic, for he is not giving up on his comfort. (chapter 10) He is not resigning on designer clothes. (chapter 42) His dress room is the evidence of his hypocrisy. He might have encouraged Kim Dan to have sex in “public places”, yet he is still hiding his sexual orientation. Furthermore, his jinx is the evidence of his dishonesty. (chapter 2) He needs someone to have sex. This stands in opposition to Diogenes’ masturbation. Besides, he had to pay the goblin and Kim Dan in order to have a sex partner. Hence he needs to be confronted with truth as well. Manhwaworms can grasp the rage from the athlete, when he heard the doctor’s justification: (chapter 45) He might advocate autonomy and self-sufficiency, the reality is that he likes luxury. Hence he is unable to live in harmony with nature. This shows that the fighter is in denial and is living in an illusion. Thus he can not find true happiness, for his freedom is not real. He is attached to the gym which is also strongly connected to his career as the Emperor. (chapter 46) With his brutal attitude, he is doing himself a disservice. Exactly like Kim Dan, he is even ruining his career and own reputation. Not only he lost 4 athletes (I am including Seonho), but also his loyal admirers are calling him a thug now: (chapter 47) Even Potato announcing the gradual Coming-Of-Age from his admirer. However, like Dr. Frost mentioned it, humans are social beings. No one can survive on his own. This explicates why Cynics had disciples in the end. And now, you comprehend the role of Kim Dan in Joo Jaekyung’s life. It is to remind him of his true nature. He is a human and not a dog-wolf. Thus the champion recommended his PT to live elsewhere, a sign that he was indeed a human. (chapter 10)

Yet, pure cynicism is not the way to find happiness. We have the perfect example with Diogenes:

He had the impression that it was never enough, and the pure action from the child caught him by surprise. He seems to have been obsessed with his theory.

3. The cynic emperor

However, in the first part, I mentioned Cynicism from a psychological perspective. So now, it is time to examine what Cynicism means for psychologists.

In other words, they have no trust in human beings. Hence Cynicism is undermining relationships. They judge people as selfish hypocrites. Therefore they use Cynicism as a way to keep people at a certain distance. (chapter 2) This explicates why the champion was crossing his arms while confronting the goblin. He was on the defensive. That’s how it dawned on me why the celebrity fell in love with Kim Dan at first sight, and why he enjoyed their first night together. The “hamster’s fear” was genuine. His desertion displayed respect towards the celebrity. He was recognizing his strength and power. (chapter 1) Then the micro-expressions from Kim Dan exposed his lie (chapter 3) On the one hand, the champion’s worldview about humans got reinforced, on the other hand the doctor’s deception symbolized his purity. He was a virgin, which was contradicting his “theory” too.

But wait… the title of this essay is Prince S and Emperor and not wolf or dog. Interesting is that the notion of an emperor or ruler could indeed symbolize cynicism, especially in the context of power and authority. Here’s why:

Skepticism and Distrust: Cynicism often involves skepticism and a general distrust of motives and intentions. An emperor or ruler, representing authority, may be associated with a cynical outlook on the motives of others, assuming that actions are driven by self-interest. This explicates why the champion assumed another intention behind the doctor’s present. (chapter 45) He imagined that the doctor had ulterior motives. This explicates why he felt no empathy, when Kim Dan asked for an advance. (chapter 11) He even looked like a ruler abusing his authority. (chapter 11)

Negative Interpretation of Intentions: Cynicism often leads to a negative interpretation of others’ actions. An emperor or ruler, when used symbolically, can represent someone who interprets the actions of others with suspicion, assuming that individuals are motivated primarily by personal gain.

Lack of Idealism: It tends to reject idealism and a positive view of human nature. (chapter 11) Here, the champion thought that Kim Dan had been gambling. An emperor or ruler, especially one characterized by a lack of idealism, may embody the cynical belief that individuals are primarily driven by self-interest and that altruistic motives are rare. Therefore the celebrity rejects the notion of soulmate (chapter 33) or even the idea of friendship (chapter 30) Heesung was not just taking advantage of his reputation, he was also teasing the sportsman. Joo Jaekyung has such a negative perception of humans. (chapter 33) Hence he looks down on poor people. (chapter 10): Gamblers, laziness, no sense of hygiene etc. Consequently, he is not capable to understand the worries from Kim Dan (chapter 42), Park Namwook (chapter 46) and Jeon Yosep. He feels like they are questioning his success. It was, as if they had other motives. He only relies on himself, he is not “truly” listening to others… though it is not correct. He is getting manipulated by his “counselors”. (chapter 36)

Use of Power: An emperor or ruler traditionally holds significant power, and cynicism may be associated with the idea that those in power are inherently self-serving. This aligns with the cynical perspective that individuals act in their own interest, particularly when they hold positions of authority. Thus the protagonist is selfish and abused his position during their first night together: (chapter 2)

On a personal level, cynicism can have several impacts. While it may provide a form of self-protection against exploitation or disappointment, chronic cynicism can also contribute to stress, alienation, chronic pessimism, hopelessness, depression and anxiety. It may inhibit personal relationships and lead to a reduced sense of life satisfaction or happiness. Though the champion is rich and even famous, he is far from being happy, as his negative perception of humans represents a hindrance to his inner freedom and peace of mind. He rejects society, yet he needs people to fight and spare with. And now, you comprehend the origins of his inner passivity and emptiness. (chapter 26) He is standing in front of a dilemma. Fighting is the expression of nature and self-reliance, yet his fights serve as entertainment for MMA lovers. MMA is strongly intertwined with business and money.

That’s the reason why he was condemned to loneliness, until he met the physical therapist. As time passed on, he had the impression that he had found a kindred spirit, his real new disciple. But the present which was bought in secret ruined everything. What Joo Jaekyung failed to realize is that the golden keychain (chapter 45) was showing the doctor’s golden heart. He was just judging his lover based on his past experiences and his negative worldview. And this brings me to list the cause for Cynicism:

Manhwaworms can grasp why the athlete is a control-freak, why he hates to expose his vulnerability (chapter 45) He fears to be taken advantage. There is no ambiguity that his negative mind-set is definitely influenced by his childhood and family. I would even say that he must have been exposed to emotional blackmail. I came to this hypothesis, because I detected that the champion had been using “blackmail” as MO in order to control Kim Dan. (chapter 6)

Emotional blackmail within parent-child relationships can have particularly damaging effects on the child’s emotional development and well-being. Here’s how emotional blackmail may manifest in the context of a parent raising a child:

  1. Threats of abandonment or punishment: A parent may use threats of abandonment, punishment, or withdrawal of love to manipulate their child into compliance. For example, a parent might threaten to stop loving their child or to send them away if they do not behave according to the parent’s expectations. This can instill fear and insecurity in the child, leading them to comply with the parent’s demands out of fear of losing their love or approval.
  2. Guilt-tripping: A parent may use guilt-tripping tactics to make their child feel responsible for the parent’s emotions or actions. For instance, a parent might say things like, “You’re making me so unhappy by not doing what I want,” or “If you really loved me, you would do as I say.” This can create feelings of guilt and shame in the child, causing them to prioritize the parent’s needs and desires over their own.
  3. Victim-blaming: In some cases, parents may engage in victim-blaming by attributing their negative emotions or behavior to their child’s actions. For example, a parent might blame their child for causing them stress, frustration, or disappointment, even when the child is not at fault. This can lead the child to internalize feelings of guilt and self-blame, eroding their self-esteem and sense of worth.
  4. Withholding affection or approval: Parents may withhold affection, attention, or approval as a form of punishment or manipulation. For instance, a parent might give their child the silent treatment or withdraw affection when the child fails to meet their expectations or challenges their authority. This can leave the child feeling unloved, unworthy, and desperate for the parent’s validation and approval.
  5. Emotional manipulation: Emotional blackmail often involves subtle forms of manipulation aimed at undermining the child’s autonomy, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. For example, a parent might use gaslighting techniques to distort the child’s perception of reality or invalidate their feelings and experiences. This can lead the child to doubt themselves and their own emotions, making them more susceptible to the parent’s control and manipulation.

This would explain why Joo Jaekyung fears and even rejects any affection and relationships. This is the lesson he learned through his bad experiences. No attachment and no love is freedom, as love is synonym for vulnerability, That’s why he chose independency, rejection of norms and brutal honesty. He sees relationships as a source of danger and vulnerability. I am quite certain that no one would suspect the emotional abuse from his family. Hence he came to view people as selfish hypocrites. The absence of his “family” for his birthday is the proof of their bad education and “abuse”.

That’s how I realized why Joo Jaekyung chose MMA fighting as career too. It was not just a mere coincidence. (chapter 26)

The adrenaline from the training and fighting is diverting his attention from his misery. He can mask his depression behind his anger and his fighting. It was to numb his negative thoughts and emotions. Hence he can not “meditate”. But he knows that Kim Dan is fragile, he can not treat him like the others. (chapter 2) He learned through Cheolmin that he could kill him. This shows his good nature in verity. Hence he resorted to such gestures, when his cynical depression resurfaced: (chapter 32) (chapter 36) (chapter 37) (chapter 45) As you can see, little by little, the champion is learning to control his rage and “cynicism”. During the last argument, he didn’t touch the physical therapist at all. He still allows him to stay at his place and he is shown as caring later. (chapter 46) The irony is that Joo Jaekyung is not recognizing his own transformation. The most obvious evidence for his metamorphosis is the absence of his jealousy towards the doctor. (chapter 47) It shows a certain trust. One might argue about this interpretation. This could be seen as indifference. However, I believe that his altercation with Seonho must have been quite an eye-opening for the champion. (chapter 46) It is because Kim Dan had not talked back to Joo Jaekyung during their argument. He had accepted his criticism silently contrary to Seonho. Right now, he has the impression that he still has the upper hand, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

Since the champion has such a long mistrust in people, Jinx-philes can grasp why the champion believes in the power of money. (chapter 26) He has the impression that he can control people, since he is wealthy. Yet, he is not realizing that he can get stabbed because of money as well. We have two perfect examples. Because of the drug incident, the MFC security guys betrayed him, as they protected the organization (chapter 40) Then in episode 47, the emperor got manipulated by his so-called loyal advisors. (chapter 47) First, I would like to outline that neither the manager from the Entertainment agency nor his acolyte brought up the underground fighting ring and Baek Junmin’s dubious success. (chapter 47) With their video, they presented him as an average and reliable fighter. (chapter 47) Observe the divergence between the advisors’ words and the members’ from Team Black. (chapter 47) The latter portrayed Baek Junmin as dangerous, for he would use any mean to win the fight. He doesn’t stand for fairness and responsibility. The champion didn’t get to hear anything about these rumors.

And how can the champion change his cynical view of life? Naturally, through pain… as he needs to be confronted by his fears. Nonetheless, I believe that the halmoni next to Kim Dan has a huge role in his healing as well. Since the latter is so weak and gentle, he doesn’t fear danger from her. (chapter 21) Moreover, the grandmother’s mortality could serve as a reminder for the champion that he is also a human… just like the others he condemns. Besides, she embodies true selflessness and gratitude. Hence she took the champion’s hand to thank him (chapter 22) This is what psychologists recommend to overcome Cynicism:

As you can see, COMPASSION, GRATITUDE, MEDITATION and CONVERSATION play a huge role in changing the mind-set. So far, the couple never shared their fears and own thoughts. They still kept secrets from each other and they didn’t converse a lot. Moreover, the problem was that Kim Dan had acted in secrecy for the gift, which could only reinforce the fighter’s negative disposition. That’s the reason why I believe that Joo Jaekyung needs to learn through a positive experience that not all people are selfish and have ill intentions. He has to discover his own bias through the doctor’s reflection. He needs to receive unconditional love and respect: (chapter 41) He never heard her recognition. In addition, until now, Kim Dan spoke in the name of others or didn’t defend his own point. Team Black’s loyalty would be the evidence that it is dangerous to judge people based on prejudices and past experiences. He needs to reflect on his own actions as well. If the Emperor heard “his members”, he would realize that MFC as an organization is corrupted and is even involved with criminality. He is already sensing something, but he can not identify the problem. (chapter 47) Should Kim Dan divulge Baek Junmin’s connections to the underground fighting ring or simply show him the message, (chapter 47), he would prove his faithfulness and sincerity to the fighter. And the vicious circle would be broken. Though he is broke, he would give up on an opportunity to earn some money easily. To conclude, as long as the champion is still a cynical character, he can not enter a relationship with Kim Dan. For that, he needs to open up his heart and third eye so that he can recognize his partner’s selflessness and honesty. Finally, he will realize that he needs the assistance of others in order to be able to keep his reputation intact (witnesses, supporters). There is no doubt that the Emperor will be badmouthed again.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Twitter-Tumblr account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.

Jinx / Doctor Frost: Harmony’s clash⚡: Prince S 👸 and Emperor 🤴 – part 1

Anyone can imagine that with the name “emperor”, I am referring to the fighter Joo Jaekyung. That’s his nickname in the MMA world. (chapter 14) On the other hand, some readers might wonder why I am connecting Kim Dan to princess (Prince S). I have many reasons for this association.

1. Princess Pyeonggang and Kim Dan

Have you ever heard about the Korean folktale of Princess Pyeonggang and her “idiot” husband Ondal? It is the story of a “stubborn” princess who helped her timid and poor husband Ondal to become a famous general during the 3 kingdoms era.

Moreover, their marriage transcends social classes, which reminds us a lot of Jinx. On the other hand, if we compare the Manhwa with the legend, the champion resembles more to the princess due to his status, actions and personality. He is the one helping the doctor, and Kim Dan appears more like the fool “husband” with his weak and poor relative. However, I came to make the association between the famous Korean princess and the physical therapist, when I was rereading Doctor Frost. How so? (chapter 30) This woman, named Sihyun, is suffering from Dependent Personality Disorder. And the author of the Webtoon Doctor Frost called her story: “The tears of Princess Pyeonggang”. Due to her personality, she was linked to the famous “princess”. She would do everything for her companions, yet she kept getting dumped. What caught my attention is that both women defined themselves through their partner. Their ultimate goal in life is to assist them, to make the other happy or recognized. But how is it a problem?

Let me give you an example with Sihyun and her first boyfriend.

Doctor Frost chapter 33

Yes, she asks her first boyfriend to make choices and as such decisions. She is unable to voice her own opinion, to make a statement. She needs the support and advices from her boyfriends. By asking for her partner’s judgment, she imagines that she is respecting him. Nonetheless, the call at such a hour looks more like intrusion and disregard. By acting this way, she burdened all her boyfriends so that at the end, they all felt the need to break up with her.  (chapter 33) What appeared as caring turned out to be a load, for the partners were all forced to be responsible for her and in every aspect of her life. They definitely felt asphyxiated, hence they could only get sick of her. Interesting is that this person would find shortly after the separation a new boyfriend, a sign that she could not live on her own. (chapter 33) And now, you are wondering how Sihyun is similar to Kim Dan, who only had one person in his life before he met the champion. It is related to traumas in their childhood. (Doctor Frost, chapter 39) After reading this, Jinx-philes can realize that Kim Dan is also suffering from Dependent Personality Disorder, though it is less obvious. He got abandoned by his parents making him feel insecure. (chapter 21) We could detect his low self-esteem (chapter 25) (chapter 46) and his overprotectiveness (chapter 16) (chapter 26) (chapter 42) on many occasions. He was risking his livelihood and health for the sake of others (his halmoni, Potato and Joo Jaekyung). His selflessness is actually the sign of his DPD. He had no purpose or ambition in his life… That’s why he is not able to project himself in the future. Until chapter 45, his life and future was determined by the celebrity, (chapter 42) and before it was by his halmoni’s fate. (chapter 19) However, here please don’t get me wrong. For me, the athlete is the physical therapist’s emancipator. This huge argument in the dining room pushed him to differentiate himself from the champion. In my eyes, Kim Dan would have returned to his old bad habits… relying on someone else, sacrificing himself for someone’s else sake. He would have neglected his career in the end.

As you can see, the problem is that his personality is affecting his career. At no moment, he voiced his own opinion concerning the champion’s health. He always used other doctors as references (chapter 27)  (chapter 42) or he delegated the examination to a hospital. (chapter 31) Here, we get an explanation why he couldn’t detect the trick from Choi Heesung. He feared to make a diagnosis on his own, as he didn’t desire to question the words from the comedian. The hospital seems to be the sacred place in the doctor’s eyes. (chapter 41) There, nothing can go wrong. But by entrusting his patients to hospitals, he didn’t realize that he was appearing as untrustworthy or even “incompetent”. His lack of confidence and hesitation explicate why the athlete replied to his suggestion like this: (chapter 41) How could he question the doctor from MFC, when he kept hiding behind a hospital or the words from other physicians? That’s how the physical therapist got silenced. He couldn’t confront the athlete with his diagnosis. Interesting is that he never gave him the file later! (chapter 42) Consequently, it is not surprising why the champion complained about the doctor’s negligence. The latter was avoiding any responsibility in the end. On the other hand, the report is the symbol of his hard work, but also of his knowledge. That’s the reason why I am still considering the dispute in chapter 45 as a good omen for the physical therapist. He needs to develop his own identity. They are two different people. He needs to live for himself, to give a meaning to his life and not: (Doctor Frost, chapter 30)

Nevertheless, one detail caught my attention in this panel:  (chapter 27) The presence of the personal pronoun “I”. Contrary to the conversation in the car (chapter 42), where there is no personal pronoun “I”, the doctor made a mini-statement. Jinx-philes can now grasp why the champion asked him to become responsible for his day-off. (chapter 27) That’s how it dawned on me why the doctor reverted to his old habits (not participating to the meeting, taking odd jobs, not voicing his own judgment, relying on others) after the night, when he was treated as sex toy. However, in my eyes, the trigger for this switch was the release of the tabloid article. (chapter 35). Why did the doctor appear so confident in front of his client to the point that he could reject his hand after going to the hospital? (chapter 27) It is because his self-esteem had been boosted by Dr. Lee. The latter had complimented him which didn’t fall on deaf ears. However, the relationship between the respectable hospital and the athlete went sour due to his article. (chapter 35) Imagine what it meant for Kim Dan. He could only remain passive, as he is called “doctor”. He views himself as a member from the medical field. Furthermore, observe what the sports therapist told him during the treatment session: (chapter 42) He mentioned the lawsuit against the most reputable hospital. The dispute could only diminish his self-esteem. As time passed on, there is no ambiguity that this lawsuit must have burdened more and more the physical therapist. Besides, there is no doubt that he felt some loyalty towards doctor Lee who had been complimenting him. Secondly, let’s not forget that despite his “efforts”, he had not been able to convince his patient to stop training for one day.  (chapter 29) Hence he jumped to the conclusion that his patient would not listen to him anyway. (chapter 42)

After being confronted with harsh reality, he is forced to reflect on his own situation, to worry about himself. That’s the reason why I judge this scene as a positive moment in the doctor’s life. He is no longer seeking love and reliance on others in order to value himself. (chapter 46) This is not surprising that Mingwa zoomed on his feet. (chapter 46) It is full of symbolism. For the first time, he is standing on his own feet. His walk in direction to the trash bin illustrates his choice. (chapter 46) Besides, he is using the personal pronoun “I”. (chapter 46) It is his Coming-Of-Age. He is on the verge to become independent. On the other hand, he didn’t fight back verbally against his boss. He accepted his reproach. (chapter 46) He was just a physical therapist and nothing more. This shows his lack of criticism. He is still not mentally strong enough to question the champion’s words and argue back. In the past, he could do it, for he was identifying himself with his grandmother and her values. (chapter 18) This signifies that he needs to develop his own philosophy and values. What does he treasure in his life?

And here I feel the need to bring up the green-haired guy. (chapter 42) The latter was also dependent on the champion, but his “addiction” was money and not love or recognition. Therefore he picked up the money before leaving the flat (chapter 2), while the other threw away the expensive keychain (chapter 46). This scene exposes the return of Kim Dan’s dignity. This comparison reinforces my interpretation that the champion misjudged the doctor’s present and actions. He imagined that Kim Dan had been acting like his “previous sex-partners” or stans. They would offer him some gifts in exchange of favors. Another contrast with the goblin is the absence of a fight and discussion. (chapter 2) I would even add that contrary to the green-haired guy, the doctor is not judging his patient’s personality, he is blaming himself. (chapter 46) Hence we should see it in a positive light: Kim Dan is not rejecting the athlete per se, but he is putting a distance between himself and his boss. Moreover, the presence of guilt is important, because in order to overcome DPD, the patient needs to recognize his own issues in order to change. By admitting his own flaws, he is able to move on. Our “Princess “Sihyun always put the whole responsibility on her boyfriends who dumped her. They were the bad guys, only interested in her money or body. (Doctor Frost, chapter 32) Interesting is that doctor Frost revealed to her later that her condition made her an easy target, as she kept relying on others. (Doctor Frost, chapter 39) And this observation brings me to my next conclusion: he will be approached by really bad guys, the mysterious Mr. Choi! (chapter 46) Thus I assume that his next lesson is to judge people correctly, to question their true motivation. So far, he fell into the same trap twice: (chapter 1) (chapter 1) He even needs to learn the difference between good guy and nice guy, but this remark applies to the grandmother.

Here, I was thinking of Heesung and Joo Jaekyung. Both acted as generous and gentle guys (chapter 21), yet their actions were not truly selfless.

2. Dependence versus attachment

Finally, I don’t think that the doctor’s choice for the present (chapter 45) is random, for it stands for “attachment”.

Because of his abandonment issues, there is no ambiguity that the doctor belongs more to the second type, whereas the champion is more connected to the third type. Since Joo Jaekyung is suffering from philophobia, the keychain could only be rejected, as it symbolized “restrain” and “attachment”.

In my opinion, the princess must learn how to love without “attachment” and as such without expectations. Yes, Kim Dan has to discover the existence of “love without conditions”.

On my search about attachment and conditional love, I found this blog where the author’s statement opened my eyes to the princess’ destiny.

Kim Dan is better than other characters in Jinx, as he is not greedy by nature. He is not motivated by money and fame. Nevertheless, what did the physical therapist think during the Summer Night’s Dream? (chapter 44) He found fulfilment in sex, which stands in opposition to the recommendation of zackbeach. Moreover, I would like to underline that the doctor reduced knowledge to sex: (chapter 44) How could he get to know the champion better, when the latter was supposed to be drunk and they would have sex? Getting closer to someone means communication and not really sensuality. Hence his happiness could only be short-lived and illusory. He didn’t take the reality into consideration. Thus I see the physical therapist’s tears as a therapy session: (chapter 46) He allows himself to cry, to grieve and to admit his pain and loneliness. (chapter 46) It helps him to face reality. He is on his own, he needs to stop relying on others. I would even say, he is encouraged to make decisions and as such to become responsible for his own life. It is important, because this means that he will have to fight back, if he wants to survive. He can not make any desperate and hasty decisions, like this one: (chapter 1) However, since he listened to the champion’s reproach and became submissive again, their relationship seems to have returned to normality. They even appear as close. (chapter 46) But this is not real communication. It shows that Kim Dan is now waiting for the right time and opportunity to leave Joo Jaekyung. He doesn’t need to rush anything.

3. The Prince S Sleeping Beauty

But Kim Dan is not just connected to Princess Pyeonggang, but also to Sleeping Beauty. My avid readers will certainly remember my comparison between Kim Dan and Sleeping Beauty. [For more read Painful awakening of Sleeping Beauty I have to admit that his mind-set  (chapter 41) reminded me of the ending of a fairy tale: they lived happily ever after. But the doctor was forgetting that life doesn’t end after the match in the States. Life ends with death. In verity, the champion is destined to be challenged, until he retires. What the doctor saw was not the end. This exposes his naivety. How could he have such a view? It is influenced by his grandmother. (chapter 19) His goal in life was determined by his familial and financial situation: (chapter 10) At no moment he pondered about himself. Happiness was never his goal, exactly like in fairy tales. Sleeping Beauty is rather passive. She sleeps, until the prince charming appears and kisses her. After that, they have kids. Interesting is that they don’t get married right away, so that the princess initially has the status of a mistress or concubine. Once the prince can secure his position, he marries her. Then the moment her husband leaves her side for war, she is tormented by her mother-in-law, the ogress. She can only escape death thanks to the intervention of her husband. We could say that happiness fell on her lap. Sleeping Beauty stands for passivity, dependence on her parents and husband and lack of critical thinking. Why? It is because the princess in fairy tales, in particular Sleeping Beauty, embodies toxic positivity.

But what is toxic passivity?

This means that such a person is denying reality, for they refuse to face negative emotions. Thus they are unable to express their true human emotions and don’t receive unwavering support. And now, you are wondering where in Jinx, the author left traces of Toxic Positivity. The first example which could come to your mind would be this: (chapter 21) She rejected her grandson’s fear and tears. She didn’t allow him to express his abandonment issues. She diminished his anxiety by questioning his behavior: “It’s okay, grandma was just in the kitchen getting a glass of water.” Then in the present, we could use his visit at the hospital: (chapter 41) While the halmoni didn’t mention her suffering, the doctor gave expensive gifts to the nurse and his grandmother. He acted, as if money was no longer a problem… as if everything was fine, as if she would recover soon. Yet, he never mentioned his problems with the champion during his stay in the States (no drug incident, the humiliation, the harsh words). He is never voicing his problems to his grandmother. Both are putting smiles on their face. And the moment, I connected Kim Dan to Toxic positivity, I had another revelation. The best example for this negative attitude is actually his own birthday. 😱 (chapter 11) Imagine that the grandmother had left the house without her grandchild. He was left behind in the house. Though she meant it well, for the child, this must have been a real torment, as he constantly feared to be abandoned. However, he knew that he was not allowed to cry or to complain. Hence when he saw her returning, he put a huge smile on his face. Moreover, this is what they had for dinner: a sweet bread and two yoghurts. The grandmother must have been hungry. Both acted, as if nothing was wrong. (chapter 45) With this contrast, the fear from the champion becomes more palpable. Joo Jaekyung got angry, for he had been put in the same situation. But the latter was never influenced by Toxic Positivity. Besides, he was fighting against his own inner demons. Nevertheless, this new interpretation of the birthday made me recognize why the author chose this chronology concerning Kim Dan’s past:

Chapter 5Chapter 11Chapter 19Chapter 21

The longer Kim Dan lived on his own, the more he got confronted with reality. (chapter 1) However, he could never confide to his grandmother about the physical abuse from the loan shark. However, the moment his hope got up (chapter 11), as he imagined that he could pay off the debts, he recalled his birthday. He had a nice “souvenir”… convincing himself that everything was fine. He would be able to do it, like his grandmother had told him. (chapter 18) Nevertheless, the moment he was forced to move out, he couldn’t help himself to recall how he got abandoned by his parents. And the moment he saw his halmoni fighting for her life, his abandonment issues resurfaced. Hence this terrible memory came through a nightmare. The betrayal from the parents is what had been deeply buried by the grandmother’s philosophy. The fact that the halmoni never allowed Kim Dan to talk about his parents and the circumstances of his arrival to the humble mansion, is the evidence of Toxic Positivity. In my eyes, the relative was already struggling herself, for she had also been left behind. But here it is important not to mix Toxic Positivity with Gaslighting.

But what are the consequences of Toxic Positivity? A low self-esteem, stagnation, constant anxiety and guilt. But there’s more to it.

This explicates why Kim Dan kept his “innocence”, why he came to deny the existence of his own body and became a ghost. By denying all emotions, he got disconnected to his own body. (chapter 12) Therefore I understand why the doctor didn’t fight back against Heo Manwook and his minions. (chapter 1) It was his way to deny reality, hence he was covering his face. Because he trusted his grandmother, he imagined that as long as he was paying the interest on time, nothing would happen to him. (chapter 1) (chapter 11) But the moneylender and his minions are no honest bankers, but criminals. They enjoy using their strength, that makes them feel powerful. It boosts their ego.

Yet, until now, I didn’t explain how a princess from fairy tales embodies toxic positivity.

  1. Perfection Expectation:
    • The concept of a princess is often associated with an idealized, perfect image. At no moment, Sleeping Beauty voiced her pain or despair. When she got hurt, she felt asleep right away. Similarly, toxic positivity can perpetuate the idea that one should always maintain a perfect, positive façade.
  2. Dismissal of Struggles:
    • Princesses in fairy tales often face challenges but are expected to handle them with grace and a positive attitude. Toxic positivity may similarly dismiss or downplay real struggles and difficulties, urging individuals to maintain a positive front regardless of their experiences.
  3. External Validation:
    • The image of a princess often involves seeking external validation, and toxic positivity can encourage individuals to seek validation through projecting a constantly positive image, even if it’s not authentic. Sleeping Beauty’s fate hinges on an external event—the prince’s kiss. This external validation is necessary for her to be acknowledged, valued, and freed from the curse.
  4. Dependence on Others: The princess’s well-being and the resolution of her situation are not within her control. She is dependent on the actions of the prince for her happiness and liberation.
  5. Symbol of Approval: The prince’s kiss becomes a symbol of approval and acceptance. It signifies that the princess is worthy of love and that her life gains meaning and purpose through external validation.

To conclude, Kim Dan embodies two negative traits, Dependent Personality Disorder and Toxic Positivity, due to his raising and traumas in his childhood. The elephant in the room was never brought up, the “rejection from the parents”. Therefore this secret could only poison the air in the little house.

The heavy silence had terrible consequences, he turned Kim Dan into a puppet, even a ghost. This explicates his passivity. For the grandmother, it looked like everything was fine, because her grandson did everything for her. There was never an argument between them. That’s the reason why I see this crying as a liberation. He allows himself to accept his wounds and tears. (chapter 46) (chapter 46) He allows himself to voice his thoughts. He admits to have denied reality. Mind and body are now united and synchronous. Consequently, I deduce that he is determined not to get fooled in the future.

And this brings me back to the story of Pyeonggang and Ondal!! Thanks to the selfish and stubborn “Prince S”, the fool Kim Dan received money and got trained. He became a true man, because he is now making decisions on his own. This means that from that moment on, the champion will have to become proactive in order to keep his “partner” by his side. Thanks to Joo Jaekyung’s attention, the doctor is now getting noticed by people. (chapter 46) This is the rising of the prince S. But this harbors a problem: he is also about to become the target of real bad guys. Yes, like in any historical k-dramas, we are about to assist to a battle of power, and this outside the ring.

The essay is already so long that I chose to introduce the Emperor in the second part. Naturally, I will include the scenes from chapter 46.

Feel free to comment. If you have any suggestion for topics or manhwas, feel free to ask. If you enjoyed reading it, retweet it or push the button like. My Reddit-Instagram-Twitter-Tumblr account is: @bebebisous33. Thanks for reading and for the support, particularly, I would like to thank all the new followers and people recommending my blog.